Gay Men Going Deeper23 Loka 2025

Joy Killers: How and Why We Sabotage Joy

Why does joy feel so hard to hold onto? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re revealing the joy killers: those sneaky ways we sabotage happiness even when life is going well.

We explore:

The difference between chasing pleasure and cultivating joy
Foreboding joy (a.k.a. waiting for the other shoe to drop) and how it robs us of the present.
How trauma and disappointment condition us to expect loss
The role of protector parts and self-sabotage in keeping joy at arm’s length.
What we’re really trying to protect ourselves from when we don’t let joy all the way in.

By the end, you’ll see how internalized shame, fear, and control kill our joy- and how practicing gratitude, presence, and vulnerability can help us reclaim it.

Today's Hosts:

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Chapters

(00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: How and Why We Sabotage Our
(00:01:18) - Happy Life: Chasing Joy
(00:03:23) - Why Joy Is Hard
(00:04:59) - What is the biggest joy killer for you?
(00:06:57) - How To Stop Comparing Yourself With Others
(00:10:14) - Learning How to Deal With Criticism
(00:12:46) - Inside the Inner Critic
(00:14:31) - The Joy of the Game Men's Brotherhood
(00:15:39) - The 'Foreboding Joy' of Love
(00:20:06) - "Be Joy in Your 40s!"
(00:21:56) - How To Deal With The 'Other shoe To Drop'
(00:25:45) - How To Find Security and Stability Attractive
(00:28:31) - Healing Your Shame
(00:29:28) - What Are We Protecting From Joy?
(00:34:03) - Adam Levine on Being Vulnerable With People
(00:37:57) - "I Love You"
(00:38:20) - Beyond Fear: How to Love Yourself
(00:40:19) - Thank You!

Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

Jaksot(291)

How to Elevate Your Hookups

Hookups get a bad rap as shallow, transactional, or disconnected. But what if they could actually become a space for growth, awareness, and real connection? In this episode, we’re advocating for sh...

25 Kesä 31min

The Daddy Issue: Our Relationships With Our Dads

For many gay men, our relationship with our dad is one of the most defining- and least talked about. In this episode, we explore the nuances of our relationships with our fathers through three core qu...

11 Kesä 52min

“I Don’t Need Anyone”: Why Gay Men Struggle to Let Someone In

A lot of gay men take pride in being independent, self-sufficient and in control. But is there a shadow side? When the time comes to let someone in, ask for support, or even rely on others—it feels un...

28 Touko 36min

Gay–Straight Bromance: Why We’re Drawn to Each Other

There’s something unique about friendships between gay and straight men. They often feel easy, natural, and unexpectedly intimate. In this episode, we explore the unique reasons why gay and straigh...

14 Touko 43min

How To Deal With Haters (Without Getting Defensive)

We’ve all dealt with them. And maybe we’ve probably been one too… In this episode, we unpack what’s really going on beneath hate. Not just online trolls or obvious critics, but the subtle ways judg...

30 Huhti 31min

Busy, Stimulated, and Disconnected: Gay Men & Escapism

What if the things you turn to for fun, pleasure, and productivity are also the ways you avoid your life? In this episode, we explore escapism through a grounded, real-world lens. Not necessarily as a...

16 Huhti 31min

Let’s Play! When Did Life Stop Being Fun?

At what point did life stop being fun? As kids, play came naturally. We were curious, spontaneous, and fully present. But for many adults, especially gay men who grew up navigating shame and self-c...

2 Huhti 53min

Masc for Masc: Preference or Internalized Homophobia?

When a gay man says he’s attracted to masculine men, is that simply preference… or could internalized homophobia be part of the story? In this episode, we unpack one of the most volatile conversati...

26 Maalis 51min