267. "She makes 2x more than me. I feel ashamed."

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Maria and Andre, a married couple in their 50s navigating a difficult retirement gap. Maria has built nearly $500K in net worth, a strong pension, and a clear path toward retirement. Andre, who moved from Brazil and only recently received his green card, is rebuilding his career in the United States with just $16K saved for retirement. They earn around $187K a year combined, but their financial tension is not really about the numbers. Andre feels ashamed that Maria earns twice what he does, while Maria worries that she will have to carry their future alone. Ramit helps them unpack the pressure Andre feels to be the provider, the cultural beliefs shaping their relationship, and how they can build a retirement plan that gives them more time together not less. In this episode we uncover: • Why Andre feels ashamed that Maria earns twice as much as him • How Andre’s recent green card changed his ability to build a career • Why $16K in retirement savings feels so frightening at age 50 • Why Maria’s pension could transform their retirement future • Why Andre believes a man should earn more than his wife • How their finances are combined, but still feel separate • Why Andre’s business expenses are creating confusion and resentment • The hidden cost of working six days a week • Why Maria wants more time with Andre, not just more money • Why Andre keeps defaulting to “work harder” instead of building a plan • How Ramit reframes retirement from fear into options • Why their future may be much stronger than they realize • The importance of acting like a team rather than competing with each other • How Andre could double his income after getting his HVAC licence • Why their Rich Life includes time in Brazil, leisure, and being present together Chapters: (00:00:00) “What would you do if your partner had no retirement plan?” (00:00:48) Meet Maria and Andre (00:02:12) Andre’s career, green card, and starting over (00:03:32) Andre has just $16K saved for retirement (00:04:48) Building their Conscious Spending Plan (00:05:54) Their $496K net worth revealed (00:07:35) “She makes double what I make” (00:10:11) How Maria increased her income as a teacher (00:12:05) Learning to spend consciously (00:14:16) Maria wants Andre to have a retirement plan (00:20:03) Their fixed costs and uneven financial burden (00:25:43) How long their savings would last (00:29:20) The reality of rebuilding your life in a new country (00:39:43) Andre’s childhood beliefs about work and money (00:45:17) What if Andre never earns as much as Maria? (00:52:07) Ramit’s message to Andre (00:58:33) Rebuilding their Conscious Spending Plan (01:07:15) What their retirement could actually look like (01:11:11) “None of this means Andre has to work until 80” (01:12:09) “It’s not a competition. It’s a team.” This episode is brought to you by: Superpower | Head over to https://superpower.com and use code RAMIT for $20 off your membership. #sponsored Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #FacetAd LMNT | Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT Gusto | Try Gusto at http://gusto.com/ramit and get 3 months free when you run your first payroll Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply