193. The Hardest Part of OCD Isn't What You Think (No One Talks About This)

Ever wonder why people with OCD can seem incredibly strong... yet still feel completely alone?

In this episode of The OCD Whisperer Podcast, Kristina Orlova speaks with Tom Smalley, MS, CMPC—mental performance consultant, OCD advocate, and speaker.

Together, they explore the hidden impact of OCD stigma, why uncertainty is at the heart of OCD recovery, and how community, education, and self-compassion can change lives.

Tom opens up about:

• His OCD diagnosis at age 16 and living with up to 15 hours of compulsions a day

• How ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) helped him reclaim his life

• Why embracing uncertainty—not eliminating it—is the key to recovery

• His powerful story of experiencing discrimination because of OCD and transforming pain into purpose

This conversation also dives into:

• Why reassurance can accidentally keep OCD alive

• How everyday phrases like "I'm so OCD" contribute to stigma

• Why community and advocacy play such an important role in healing

• The connection between sports, mental health, perfectionism, and OCD

• How choosing education over anger helps reduce stigma and create lasting change

If you've ever felt misunderstood because of your OCD—or wondered how to support someone who struggles with it—this conversation will leave you feeling seen, understood, and hopeful.

Whether you're navigating OCD yourself or supporting someone you love, this episode offers practical insights, encouragement, and a powerful reminder that you are never alone in your recovery.

📲 About Tom Smalley (guest):

• MS, CMPC—mental performance consultant, OCD advocate, and speaker

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/s2s_smalls/

• Website: https://www.struggleintostrength.com/

✂️ TIMESTAMPS:

[00:00] – What Do Most People Get Wrong About Supporting Someone with OCD?

[06:59] – When Did You Realize Uncertainty Wasn't the Enemy?

[11:48] – How Does Everyday Language Add to OCD Stigma?

[19:48] – What Would You Tell Someone Feeling Judged Because of OCD?

[22:06] – Tom's Story: Being Bullied and Abused Because of OCD

[29:31] – Sports, Mental Health & Breaking the Stigma

[31:32] – The Therapist Quote That Changed Everything

[38:02] – Final Thoughts & Where to Find Tom

✅ Free Resources & Links

• 🎁 Free OCD Survival Kit & Classes → www.shorturl.at/KcTxM
• 📖 OCD CBT Journal → www.shorturl.at/7pUxB
• 🌐 Website → www.korresults.com/
• ✍️ OCD Academy→ www.ocdacademy.thinkific.com/

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✅ About OCD Whisperer

Welcome to OCD Whisperer! Each episode shares tools and insights for OCD recovery, managing intrusive thoughts, ERP therapy, CBT techniques, anxiety relief, and mindfulness practices. Join me for expert interviews and personal insights into overcoming OCD. Subscribe to find support, strategies, and hope for your OCD journey.

⚠️ Disclaimer: Please note while the host is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in OCD and anxiety disorders in the state of California, this podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for therapy.

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