Deeper Sex - A podcast about deeper connections and incredible sex28 Heinä

"You should not be wanting sex" - How Shame kills your sex life (and how to stop that) | E27

📩 FREE GUIDE: How to talk about sex with your partner — download our 10 prompts

If anyone has ever said that to you "You should not be wanting so much sex" - related to how often you want it, a fantasy, or a desire that turned up uninvited — this one is for you.

We go straight to the point today: shame is the cause of almost every problem in a relationship.

We discuss:

how shame is something that we are not born with – but that is rather taught us – for good and, not so good, reasons
how body shame is a boner/libido killer
why you should trust your desires
how stop giving a fuck about what people think creates space for curiosity, endless possibilities, and new levels of pleasures

If you’ve ever found yourself fighting with your partner about how much sex you’re (not) having – listen to this and go back to that conversation.

TIMESTAMPS

02:01 What is shame?

04:44 Shame is learned

07:09 What are you ashamed of?

10:46 Body image shame

12:40 Intimacy: the relationship with yourself, before anybody else

15:50 Stop giving a fuck and it will affect others

16:42 What happens on the other side of shame

18:15 Shame as an identity

19:17 Shame for kinks and fantasies

22:28 Trust your desires

24:58 Shame of craving intimacy with a partner

26:42 Ban the phrase "you should not want this" and you'll have a happier relationship

28:32 How knowing your values improves and deepens your relationship

29:43 Shame is a mechanism of control. Control comes from fear

For more info, visit deeperlovers.com

Curious about this topic? Don't miss these other episodes:

» E4 | Don't Like The Way You Look? Reframing Body Shame Leads To Deeper Intimacy – Listen on Apple or Spotify

» E23 | What's Really Cockblocking Your Wildest Fantasies (And How To Stop That) – Listen on Apple or Spotify

» E24 | Why Suppressing Your Sexuality Is Counter Productive And How You Can Live Out Your Fantasies – Listen on Apple or Spotify

» E26 | Open Or Monogamous Relationship? Neither Lasts Without These 3 Pillars — With Eva Di Pierro – Listen on Apple or Spotify

JOIN CHIARA'S NEXT LIVE WORKSHOP: "How To Share Your Secret Fantasies"

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