Living with Bipolar as a Man: Lee Formella on Acceptance, Anger & Breaking the Stigma

Living with bipolar disorder can look different for everyone, but one thing many people share is the pressure to pretend they're okay when they're struggling.

In this honest conversation, Shaley Hoogendoorn sits down with returning guest Lee Formella to talk about what it's has been like living with bipolar disorder as a man. Together they discuss late diagnosis, learning acceptance, managing anger, masking symptoms at work, addiction, and why men often struggle to ask for help.

Lee shares how years of therapy, medication, and self-awareness have changed his life—not by eliminating bipolar disorder, but by helping him build a life that's more manageable and meaningful.

Whether you live with bipolar disorder, support someone who does, or simply want to better understand mental illness, this conversation offers hope, validation, and practical insight.

In This Episode

• Accepting that bipolar disorder is lifelong
• Why comparing yourself to "normal" only creates more shame
• The unique stigma men face around mental health
• Anger, depression, and how bipolar can look different than expected
• Addiction, alcohol, and unhealthy coping strategies
• Learning to recognize symptoms before they escalate
• Why masking your struggles is exhausting
• How therapy and support can change your relationships
• Finding hope while living with a chronic mental illness

Timestamps

(00:06:12) Lee shares what life has looked like since his bipolar diagnosis and why acceptance changed everything.

(00:12:08) "Their baseline can't be my goal." Letting go of comparisons and learning to live with bipolar.

(00:21:45) Bipolar disorder in men: breaking stereotypes and why so many struggle in silence.

(00:30:58) How anger feels different during depression versus hypomania.

(00:37:41) Alcohol, gambling, addiction, and searching for relief from overwhelming symptoms.

(00:45:18) Why pretending you're okay all day is one of the most exhausting parts of living with bipolar.

About Shaley Hoogendoorn

Shaley Hoogendoorn is the host of This Is Bipolar, a mom, teacher, speaker, and mental health advocate living with Bipolar II Disorder. Through honest conversations and lived experience, she is passionate about reducing stigma, helping people feel less alone, and creating spaces where people affected by bipolar disorder can connect, heal, and be seen.

About Lee Formella

Lee Formella is a mental health advocate living with bipolar disorder and CPTSD. Through his honest storytelling and advocacy, he helps others understand the realities of living with serious mental illness while encouraging hope, self-acceptance, and recovery. Connect with Lee on Instagram at @benefitsofbipolar.

Connect with Shaley

🌐 www.thisisbipolar.com 📸 Instagram: @this.is.bipolar