When Dating Hurts: Dating Violence, Coercive Control & Relationship Red Flags | Bill Mitchell

How can we recognize the warning signs of dating violence, coercive control, emotional abuse, and dangerous relationship patterns before it’s too late?

In this powerful episode of lovelustlaw, Michele Locke sits down with Bill Mitchell, author and host of the When Dating Hurts podcast, to explore the hidden realities of intimate partner violence and the warning signs that are often missed.

Bill’s mission began after the devastating murder of his 21-year-old daughter, Kristin, who was killed by her boyfriend in 2005 shortly after graduating from college. Bill shares Kristin’s story, the impact of her killer’s ongoing parole hearings on their family, and how unimaginable loss became a mission to educate others about dating violence and relationship abuse.

They discuss why abuse is hidden behind shame, isolation, and the appearance of a loving relationship and why there doesn’t have to be bruises for abuse to occur.

The conversation also explores relationship red flags, emotional abuse, strangulation, digital stalking, evidence collection, self-esteem and vulnerability, safely leaving an abusive relationship, healthy boundaries, and how parents can talk to their children about dating violence.

Bill outlines a common five-step “template” of abuse - fairy tale romance, isolation, threats, violence, and a convincing apology - repeating in cycles. They also discuss why victims may minimize what happened, why leaving an abusive relationship can be complicated and dangerous, and how friends, family members, educators, and communities can provide support without judgment.

Most importantly, this episode is about prevention: teaching young people what healthy relationships look like, recognizing red flags early, and knowing when control has crossed the line into abuse.

In This Episode:
— How dating violence and coercive control can begin
— The hidden warning signs of abusive relationships
— The five-step cycle of abuse
— Why emotional abuse can be just as traumatic as physical violence
— Isolation, shame, threats, and manipulation
— Strangulation and other serious warning signs
— Digital stalking and documenting evidence
— How predators use reward-and-punishment tactics
— Why self-esteem can affect vulnerability to abuse
— How to safely leave a dangerous relationship
— How parents can talk with kids about healthy relationships
— Why victims need patience and nonjudgmental support
— Men as victims of intimate partner violence
— Teaching boundaries and relationship skills early
— Resources for people experiencing domestic or dating violence

**DISCLAIMER** The information shared in this podcast is intended for entertainment purposes only. It should not be considered as professional legal advice or a substitute for seeking professional legal advice.

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Want to reach out to me? You can email me at hello@michelelocke.com. Want to find out what I'm up to? Follow me on socials (linked below).

Just remember Michele is spelled with one L and you can thank my mother Margo for that :)

Links
Michele Locke
https://www.michelelocke.com/
https://www.instagram.com/attorneymichelelocke/
https://www.tiktok.com/@attorneymichelelocke
https://www.linkedin.com/in/michele-locke/
https://www.youtube.com/@attorney-michelelocke

Bill Mitchell
https://www.instagram.com/whendatinghurts/
249. Michele Locke - Lawyer, Judge, and DV Survivor
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/249-michele-locke-lawyer-judge-and-dv-survivor/id1542478530?i=1000705380885
261. Michele Locke - Her Return Interview - Lawyer, Judge, Mother and DV Survivor
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/261-michele-locke-her-return-interview-lawyer-judge/id1542478530?i=1000714328237

Jake Deptula
www.instagram.com/jaked3000

lovelustfear
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283
https://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWec
https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/

National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)
Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
Text: START to 88788
https://www.thehotline.org/
https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotline
https://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/

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