I Have a Family of My Own, but I Still Want My Parents

Having a spouse, children, and a family of your own does not remove the desire to call your parents.

In this solo episode, Robert reflects on losing his father at fourteen and his mother at twenty-six. He talks about missing his parents during his daughters’ milestones, but also during the ordinary moments: driving home after a difficult day, sharing good news, or wanting to ask what he was like as a child.

Robert also explores the adult relationship with his parents that he never got to experience. He considers how early parent loss shaped his need to feel chosen, safe, and wanted in other relationships, as well as his fear of being a burden.

The episode includes an honest look at parenting after parent loss. After recognizing parts of his father’s discipline in his own reactions, Robert began examining how he speaks when he becomes frustrated. He shares how faith, reflection, and a simple agreement with his wife are helping him interrupt patterns he does not want to pass to his daughters.

In this episode:

Missing your parents after building a family of your own
Grieving the adult relationship you never had with them
Wanting access to your parents’ memories of your childhood
Parenting without someone to call for advice
Recognizing family patterns without excusing the hurt they caused
Finding a safe place for unfinished conversations
Learning to pause before passing an old wound forward

Scripture mentioned: James 1:19

Content note: This episode discusses parental death, complicated parent-child relationships, yelling, and childhood spanking.

Learn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writing

Website: robertdelfave.com
Grief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coaching
Schedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map Session
The Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/book
Contact: hello@robertdelfave.com

The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

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