How to Build Resilience as a Working Mom When Everything Falls Apart

Summary

When you’re a working parent, disruptions are inevitable: a sick kid, a canceled school day, an unavailable partner, a car problem, or a crisis at work. The goal isn’t to become the perfectly calm person who can handle everything—it’s to build the resilience to adapt when life inevitably throws you a curveball.

In this episode, Hannah Morgan shares practical ways to prepare for the unexpected, from creating backup plans and investing in your village to building margin into your schedule and life. She also introduces the RESET method for navigating a crisis in real time: regulate, establish what’s urgent, simplify, execute the next smallest step, and take the lesson.

Because resilience isn’t about having it all together. It’s about knowing what to do next.

Key Takeaways

• Resilience doesn't mean staying calm all the time. It means being able to experience stress and disruption, then figure out what to do next.
• Create your backup plans before you need them. Think through the crises that are likely to happen again and create simple if-then plans for how you'll respond.
• Talk to your workplace in advance. Establish expectations around sick kids, working from home, or shifting your hours before you're in the middle of a crisis.
• Invest in your village before you need it. Build relationships with friends, family, neighbors, and other people who can step in—and be willing to reciprocate.
• Build margin into your life. Leaving some space in your schedule, having meals in the freezer, and maintaining an emergency fund can give you much-needed breathing room when things go sideways.
• Use the RESET method when you're in crisis:
  R — Regulate: Pause and regulate your emotions before reacting.
  E — Establish: Identify what's actually urgent.
  S — Simplify: Lower the bar wherever you can.
  E — Execute: Take the next smallest achievable step.
  T — Take the lesson: Reflect afterward and use what you learned to improve your plan.
• You don't have to manage everything yourself. Knowing when and how to ask for help is a form of resilience, too.

Quotes from the Episode

• “Resilience does not mean being this polished, calm, best version of yourself at all times.”
• “You can experience that disruption, feel the stress, and then figure out what you're going to do next.”
• “Invest in your village before you actually need it.”
• “Operating at 85 or 90% gives you that margin. So when something does go wrong, you've just got a little bit more buffer.”
• “Simplifying means lowering the bar everywhere you absolutely can.”
• “Pick one small achievable step, one small thing you can do in that crisis moment that can help move things forward.”
• “You can be the person who knows how to ask for help, and that is a wonderful thing.”

Resources Mentioned

• The RESET Method: A five-step framework for navigating unexpected crises as a working parent.

• Heron House Management: Virtual household management for busy families looking to reduce their mental load and get support with the never-ending to-do list.