Healing Crisis

it just realized I didn't really explain in this episode what I mean by healing crisis. for me it's been when a treatment makes some symptoms worse but ultimately improves everything. things get a little bit worse before they get a whole bunch better. sometimes when I give my body the things it needs it kind of rushes to course correct things and that can be exhausting. in today's case made the mast cell activation a tiny bit worse and then a whole bunch better. it's not fixed, we're not getting it fixed, until we get me on the angioedema antihistamine and get the downstairs ductwork sorted and get me back on either one dose of paxlovid or some of the drugs from the anti Epstein bar protocols from the Australian Ms studies. that's what it would take to roll back my deterioration and stabilize me. but I need to pull together the energy to pick back up the fight. right now I'm in survival mode particularly until we get me a functioning mobility scooter again. of course that's a huge part of restabilizing me because that's a huge part of why I suddenly fell apart so hard

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Jaksot(165)

Apocalypse Nightmare

a month away from running out of GoFundMe. at least that's the amount of money I for sure know gets me to mid-november. I don't know if I can stretch it further especially as I'm still bouncing back f...

19 Loka 18min

Roadblocks and bright spots

where I talk about the push me pull you of me meaning emotional balance versus Health balance and struggling of course with financial deficits that make both of those hard. and then roadblocking all o...

14 Loka 19min

Melty Downy

The perils of attempting to mask how sick I am and how scared I am about it but at the same time needing to be able to compartmentalize there's a bright light though. we (myself plus two wonderful vol...

30 Syys 22min

MASKING

where I talk about masking pain and fear. what masking is how it works. how it can trigger nightmares as it has done this evening. and I talk about how the death of my mobility scooter a couple of wee...

18 Syys 41min

Grace

I was already thinking about Grace but then rewatching the documentary #YOU ARE HERE: A COME FROM AWAY STORY about the planes that landed in gander Newfoundland on September 11th. Being from Newfoundl...

12 Syys 37min

I'M BACK

I'm back . my August hiatus from advocacy (because I was starting to melt down out of the pressure of a difficulty coming from so many angles) is over. although it wasn't a hiatus from a whole bunch o...

2 Syys 16min

medical instruction REST

it won't let me post all of what I posted in the GoFundMe update so here's that link if you want to read the rest ( https://gofund.me/6d981312 )I'm hanging in best I can. But I'm definitely burnt out ...

7 Elo 6min