When I thought I wanted things to be different

When Discomfort Is Part of the Learning: An IFS Meditation for Meeting What’s Uncomfortable What if discomfort isn’t necessarily something we need to get rid of? In this IFS-informed meditation, we explore the tender territory of being with what feels uncomfortable — something that can be particularly challenging when we’re beginning therapy, learning something new, or simply meeting a part of ourselves we’ve been trying to avoid. The inspiration for this episode came from thinking about learning the oboe as an adult. In the beginning, the sound can be… well, rather difficult! There can be embarrassment, frustration and a strong desire to be somewhere further along the learning journey. Therapy can sometimes feel like that too. We may hope to feel better quickly, while discovering that the process of healing can involve sitting with uncertainty, vulnerability, grief, fear or discomfort. And as therapists, it can be equally challenging to sit alongside a client’s discomfort without rushing to make it disappear. This meditation is inspired by a beautiful poem by Rosemary Wahtola Trommer, When I Thought I Wanted Things to Be Different, which reflects on the way difficulty and discomfort can sometimes be part of transformation — the seed carried by the burr, the grape becoming wine, the cactus needing both drought and rain. We begin with a very simple practice of noticing: Comfortable. Uncomfortable. Neutral. Moving gently through the body, we explore what is present without judging it, fixing it or needing it to change. Along the way, you may notice parts that have something to say about discomfort. Perhaps they want to protect you from it. Perhaps they are worried about what it means. Perhaps they simply need to know that someone is listening. In the spirit of Internal Family Systems, we make space for these parts with curiosity and compassion — thanking them for allowing us to notice what is here. Because sometimes the work isn’t about becoming comfortable all the time. Sometimes it’s about discovering that we can be with discomfort and still be okay. And perhaps, underneath the discomfort, something new is quietly beginning to form. If this meditation speaks to something you’re experiencing and you’d like to explore IFS, parts work, therapy or learning to relate differently to difficult emotions, I’d love to hear from you. You can find out more about working with me and get in touch at www.carolynbaynes.co.uk. Come gently. There is nothing you need to force. Simply notice what is here. Comfortable. Uncomfortable. Neutral. All welcome.