163: How to Tell Someone You Were Sexually Assaulted | Lizzie Ens

NOTE: This episode discusses sexual assault and abuse.

Speaking up about sexual assault means telling someone what happened to you, even when shame, fear, or the person who hurt you told you to keep quiet. If you have held it inside for years because you thought no one would believe you, you are not alone. Here's the thing. The freeze response, self-blame, and memories that surface years later are all normal ways your body handles trauma. They are not proof that it was your fault. And as the Cornell 7 case shows, victim blaming still keeps far too many survivors silent.

In this solo episode of The Lizzie Ens Show, Lizzie Ens, functional nutrition coach, business owner, author of Amish Renegade, and speaker, gets raw about the allegations in the Cornell 7 case and her own experience of sexual assault. You'll hear why 80% of sexual assaults are committed by someone you know, why you should still speak up when it was a family member, and why so many reported cases get pushed aside. Lizzie also shares why holding trauma inside can make your body sick and how to move from victim to survivor to thriver. Healing is the best thing you can do for yourself and the worst thing you can do for the person who hurt you.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Speaking up about sexual assault starts with knowing that shame, fear, and a perpetrator telling you to stay quiet are common reasons survivors hold it in for years, sometimes decades.
• How the trauma freeze response works, why your mind tells you it was your fault, and why memories of abuse can come back 20 or even 40 years later.
• What rape actually is, including when someone is too intoxicated or drugged to say no, when they say no and it continues, and when they are too young to understand.
• Why the Cornell 7 case is about more than one night, and how victim blaming over alcohol, clothing, or walking into a frat house ignores how trauma actually works.
• Why 80% of sexual assaults are committed by someone you know, and why speaking up about sexual assault by a family member matters even if relatives refuse to believe you.
• Why abuse in the Amish community, which Lizzie writes about in her book Amish Renegade, is only part of the story when reported cases still lead to no justice.
• How to move from victim to survivor to thriver, why holding trauma inside can make your body sick, and how healing takes your control back from the person who hurt you.

We talk about:

00:00 Speaking up about sexual assault to protect yourself

00:44 Why survivors keep sexual abuse quiet for years

01:44 What the Cornell 7 case is really about

02:53 Victim blaming and why it ignores how trauma works

03:19 How the trauma freeze response actually works

03:41 Can memories of abuse come back years later

04:52 What counts as rape when someone cannot say no

05:36 Why campus sexual assault cases so often get buried

07:25 Should you speak up if it was a family member

08:30 Amish Renegade and abuse in the Amish community

10:06 How to go from victim to survivor to thriver

11:29 Why holding trauma inside can make your body sick

Ready to heal from the inside out, emotionally and physically? Reach out to Lizzie about trauma and mentorship support at https://undietyou.com/

If you need support right now, contact the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673 or https://rainn.org/ (US). You do not have to carry this alone.

Amish Renegade: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D2PKFCD7?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback

Connect with Lizzie

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizzieens_wellness
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lizzieenswellness
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lizzieh_wellness
• Website: https://undietyou.com/

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