Mindfulness for parents: Pay attention and stop your negative self-talk

The other day I was driving to the grocery store, and suddenly a memory from an accident that happened to my son came to mind. I started remembering this painful event, and straight away, I noticed feeling negative about myself. I began to feel insecure about my parenting as I still blame myself for my son’s injury.

Connecting with the problematic memories made me realized that I still have not resolved and healed from this event. As any parent, I deal with situations that bring me to doubt my parenting skills. Sometimes I tend to find it more challenging to deal with negative self-talk in these parenting issues.

Maybe you find this too. Perhaps you also have noticed that specific memories or situations can trigger negative self-talk in your life. Usually, they are about the things that we feel the need to be perfect and judge ourselves harshly because we think we have failed. This self-criticism can also be things related to our identity, moral principles, or values.

There is a mindful solution that I use, and you can use it too to cope with negative self–talk. Whether the inner voice is talking about your parenting, work, relationships, or self-control, you can use this mindful technique. Every time that we bring mindfulness to a challenge, it always starts with listening to our inner dialogue.

A mindful solution

1. Journal: Write down the event and the words that come to mind during your negative inner dialogue. For example, it will look like I was driving, and my mind wandered to memory about a painful event with my son. My internal dialogue was: You should have done better. You are responsible for what happened. You failed as a mother.
   
2. Mindful attention: Bring your attention to your body and notice how you feel as you write these words. Write down whatever comes to mind.
   
3. Write the opposite though: Think about changing your perception and phrase it the opposite way. “I did the best I could at the time. I’m not responsible for what happened. I didn’t fail as a mother’. As you write these opposite statements, notice what feeling and emotions arise. Keep writing down how you feel as you connect with these sentences.
   
4. Finish with writing down your lessons: Look at the bright side of what happened and reflect on personal growth and how you will do better next time.
   

Here is today’s quote:

“Beautify your inner dialogue. Beautify your inner world with love, light, and compassion. Life will be beautiful.”

Amit Ray

And my one question for you is…

How often is your negative self-talk disrupting your inner peace?

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