EP350 - Unlocking Pleasure: Orgasms, Toys, & Communication

Welcome to episode 126 of the Sexology Podcast! Today is a solo episode where I answer a listener's question on what to do when his wife doesn’t want to have sex anymore.     In this episode, you will hear:     The definition of a sexless marriage   How this is a global issue   How sex is a form of attachment   The way in which no sex can be a by-product of relationship dissatisfaction   Why couples refrain from sex   The need to repair the relationship before tackling the issue of lack of sex   Understanding the need to reflect on your own wants and needs   The importance of processing these emotions   Trying to pinpoint when these issues first arose   The different stages of love we experience in a relationship   The importance of communication throughout this process   Creating time in your life to work on this issue   Tips and recommendations to help begin improving such as date nights   Introducing novelty into the relationship to create excitement   Understanding and tackling sexual boredom           Resources  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist/    Bonus Episode, Sex & OCD: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-episode-ocd-and-sex/  Bonus Episode, Sex & Depression: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-depression-sex/     Helen Fisher Ted Talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYfoGTIG7pY     https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

4 Kesä 201928min

Welcome to episode 125 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Dr Melvin L. Phillips, Jr. to the podcast. In this episode Dr. Melvin speaks to me about chronic illness, the challenges of dealing with this issue, the uncertainty and anxiety it can create and tips on how to regain a sense of sexual normality.    Dr Melvin L. Phillips, Jr. is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia. Dr Phillips has worked in several mental health and substance abuse treatment settings including outpatient community mental health, inpatient treatment, and private practice for the past 13 years.     He is a speaker and has lectured on topics including preventative services, anxiety and stress management, caregiving stress, depression in the elderly, mindfulness and cognitive strategies for chronic pain, revalidating sexuality for couples with chronic pain and illness, ethical decision making, and the assessment of mental disorders. He has published in the Journal of Baccalaureate Social Work, conducting a research study on LGBTQ-Affirmative Teaching at Historically Black Colleges and Universities: Understanding Program Directors Views.     He holds a Doctor of Education (Ed.D.) degree in Organizational Leadership with an emphasis in Behavioral Health from Grand Canyon University in Phoenix, AZ. In addition, Dr Phillips holds a Master of Social Work (MSW) degree from Norfolk State University and is an adjunct professor in the Master of Social Work Program with the School of Social Work at Western New Mexico University. Dr Phillips currently is currently in private practice in Washington, DC., where he treats chronic illness and sexual dysfunction.    In this episode, you will hear:     How the is a common issue but one of talked about enough   The challenges of dealing with chronic illness  The side effects of becoming hooked on medication   Learning to continue to enjoy pleasure through chronic illness   How people going through this feel a part of their relationship has been stolen from them  The uncertainty and anxiety it can create   The impacts on your desire level   Learning more about retrograde ejaculation   Tips on how to regain a sense of sexual normality   The importance of communication through this issue  The way in which sexual rigidity can cause further problems         Resources  www.ccccmentalhealth.com  www.drleephillips.com     Bonus Episode, Sex & OCD: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-episode-ocd-and-sex/  Bonus Episode, Sex & Depression: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-depression-sex/     https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist/     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

28 Touko 201939min

Welcome to episode 124 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Vanessa Marin to the podcast. In this episode she speaks about masturbation, the common myths surrounding female orgasm, how porn and the media only represent one kind of female body and experimenting with sex toys.   Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy. She’s here to help you stop feeling embarrassed about sex and start having way more fun in the bedroom.   She has bachelor’s degrees in Human Sexuality and Sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology. She writes for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker, and has been featured over 1,000 times in major publications like O, The Oprah Magazine, Harper’s Bazaar, Refinery29, and Real Simple.    Vanessa specializes in online programs that help you transform your sex life from ordinary to extraordinary, all from the comfort and privacy of your own home. Through courses like The Passion Project: A Couples’ Blueprint To Rediscovering Desire And Reigniting The Spark and Finishing School: Learn How To Orgasm, she finds immense joy in spreading the message that we all deserve more from our sex lives.   Vanessa’s business is actually a family affair! Vanessa’s sister Jennifer is her right-hand woman. And since her husband Xander joined to help manage the online portion of the business, they have joined forces to start talking about the challenges faced in modern day relationships  - including their own - with the goal of exploring how a fulfilling sex life plays an integral role in a healthy relationship.  In this episode, you will hear:   The common myths surrounding female orgasm   The issue of women hating their bodies   How porn and the media only represent one kind of female body   The rise of plastic surgery to change the shape of genitalia   Redefining four play – why it’s not just a prelude to penetrative sex   What is a pre-orgasmic women?  The shame that still exists around masturbation   Ways to further explore your own journey with masturbation   How masturbation can be a form of self-love and self-care   Recommendations on discussing masturbation with your partner   Transferring new sexual skills from masturbation to sex with your partner   The importance of communication and specific instruction   Experimenting with sex toys           Resources  https://vmtherapy.com   https://vmtherapy.com/online-sex-therapy-programs/     The Vulva Gallery - www.instagram.com/the.vulva.gallery     Jennifer Gunsaullus Episode - http://www.sexologypodcast.com/2017/04/18/the-power-of-masturbation-with-dr-jennifer-gunsaullus/     Bonus Episode, Sex & OCD: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-episode-ocd-and-sex/  Bonus Episode, Sex & Depression: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-depression-sex/     https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist/     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

21 Touko 201935min

Welcome to episode 123 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Rae McDaniel to the podcast. In this episode they speak about the difference between being bisexual and heteroflexible, taking the first steps to explore your sexual curiosity and understanding the need to treat potential dates and partners with care and respect as you explore your sexual curiosity.    Rae McDaniel is a Gender and Certified Sex Therapist who works with folks feeling anxious and lost about a transition they’re experiencing in sex, gender, sexual identity, or relationships. Rae also provide consultation & training for professionals and organizations wishing to uplevel their knowledge and expertise in these areas. Rae is the founder of Practical Audacity, a therapy and healing collective in Chicago, Illinois.   Rae holds a Master of Education in Community Counseling from DePaul University in Chicago and is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Illinois. Rae graduated from the University of Michigan’s Sexual Health Certificate Program with specializations in Sex Therapy and Sexuality Education and is a Certified Sex Therapist through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.  In this episode, you will hear:   What is the difference between being bisexual and heteroflexible?  Does consuming the same sex porn make you homosexual?   The difficulties people experience when they find out their partner is consuming same sex porn   How western culture is more accepting of women being bisexual than men   The discriminations that still exist on society today for showing any affection to the same sex   How bisexuals struggle for support even within the LGBTQ community   Taking the first steps to exploring your sexual curiosity  Understanding the need to treat potential dates and partners with care and respect as you explore your sexual curiosity  How to start the dialogue with your partner around this issue if you’re in a monogamous relationship     Resources  http://www.practicalaudacity.com     Bonus Episode, Sex & OCD: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-episode-ocd-and-sex/  Bonus Episode, Sex & Depression: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-depression-sex/   https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

14 Touko 201936min

Welcome to episode 122 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Gina Gutierrez to the podcast. In this episode she speaks about sexuality and desire, the differences between men and women when it comes to desire and arousal, the downsides of getting your sex education from porn and the need to make desire open, communicative and vocal.  Gina Gutierrez will probably ask you how you’re feeling when she meets you. As co-founder and CEO of Dipsea, Gina is an empathy-driven entrepreneur focused on helping women feel sexually, mentally, and emotionally empowered through audio storytelling. Dipsea’s stories help women tap into their sexuality on their own terms, unlock confidence, and develop a more holistic sense of well-being.  Armed with a degree in psychology from Duke, Gina saw her career as a brand strategist take off when she moved to the San Francisco Bay Area. There, she started working with leading startups and Fortune 500 companies, including Facebook, Google, Reebok, ThirdLove, and DoorDash. But many late nights spent talking with friends about their experiences with fun, sexy content made her realize something: there was actually very little of it made for women, especially not in audio format. So, in 2018, she and friend   Faye Keegan combined their left-brain and right-brain strengths to launch Dipsea. The design-forward, female-focused, sex-positive app delivers short-form audio stories that help women and couples tap their inner sexual powers accessibly.  Just one year since launch, Dipsea has already been featured by ELLE, Marie Claire, Vox, and TechCrunch, and has raised $5.5 million in funding. All this despite Gina and Faye being told that a startup focused on female pleasure and erotic content wasn’t “venture-backable.”  In this episode, you will hear:   The differences between men and women when it comes to desire and arousal   How ethics around porn can get in the way of desire   The main things people were searching for when it comes sexuality   The way in which porn has been designed predominantly for male desire   Why is the psychology of the brain overlooked for women?   The downsides of getting your sex education from porn   How psychological arousal and desire is missing for a lot of people today   What can we do to increase sexual desire?  The need to make desire open, communicative and vocal   How Gina and her team create the content for Dipsea Stories         Resources  Dipsea app – https://dipseastories.com/sexology   Episodes with Dr. Emily Nagoski:   http://www.sexologypodcast.com/2019/03/12/female-orgasm-with-dr-emily-nagoski/   http://www.sexologypodcast.com/2017/03/14/come-as-you-are-an-interview-with-dr-emily-nagoski/   Bonus Episode, Sex & OCD: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-episode-ocd-and-sex/  Bonus Episode, Sex & Depression: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-depression-sex/     https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist/ Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

7 Touko 201938min

Welcome to episode 121 of Sexology Podcast. Today, I am delighted to welcome Dr. Carmon Roman to the podcast. In this episode, we will analyze why sexual assault survivors might not report the assaults. Furthermore, we’ll review the approaches to helping survivors during their journey of recovery. Dr. Roman is a caring listener with over 25 years of experience in providing psychotherapy, in Mexico and California. She is also the host of a wonderful, bilingual weekly podcast, Emotions in Harmony, through which she weaves together the psychology and spirituality of both cultures. In this episode, you will hear about:  History of Denim Day Emotional barriers that might get in a way of reporting an assault Best ways for victims to protect themselves if they choose to report Role of family members in supporting survivors of sexual abuse True vs. false beliefs that a survivor might develop as a consequent of the incident The process of recovery   Resources https://emotionsinharmony.org/ http://www.sexologypodcast.com/2017/06/20/celibacy-desire-with-dr-carmen-roman/   Bonus Episode, Sex & OCD: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-episode-ocd-and-sex/ Bonus Episode, Sex & Depression: https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   To book an appointment with us: https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal   If you are experiencing strong emotions related to past or present trauma and you are looking for resources to get support, you can can visit RAINN’s online hotline (https://hotline.rainn.org/online/) or call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

30 Huhti 201944min

Welcome to episode 120 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to welcome Jonathan Miller to the podcast, in this episode he speaks about ways in which can start to have difficult conversations around sex, the importance of communication and to be clear about what you want sexually and understanding the sensitive nature of these issues and the need to be mindful of your partner's thoughts and emotions.   Jonathan helps high-performing couples upgrade their communication skills to have fight-free relationships. As a speaker, coach and trainer, Jonathan is dedicated to empowering others to communicate mindfully.   He truly believes that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our life, and communication is the main ingredient. Growing up, he was never taught to fully express himself or hear others in a way that fostered connection. He is now committed to sharing his newfound passion for clear communication using his world-class training methodology.  In this episode, you will hear:     Recommendations on what to talk about before having sex for the first time   The best time in a relationship to first talk about having sex   The importance of communication and to be clear about what you want sexually   Ways in which to talk about difficult sexual issues, such as having an STI   How to tell your partner that you slept with someone else   Understanding the need to take responsibility   How to first approach your partner about potentially opening up your relationship   An interactive role play between Nazanin and Jonathan dealing with these issues  Understanding the sensitive nature of these issues and the need to be mindful of your partners thoughts and emotions      Resources  www.mindfulcommunication.me     Bonus Episode: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-episode-ocd-and-sex/ https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

23 Huhti 201945min

Welcome to episode 119 of the Sexology Podcast. In the run up to season 8 of Game of Thrones, this week’s episode is a solo episode where I discuss the five hottest sex scenes from the show and what we can learn from. In this episode, you will hear: Why people associate Game of Thrones as a more sexually charged shows than other TV shows Does the show give people a legitimacy to have taboo fantasies? The top five categories of sexual fantasy How physiological arousal doesn’t automatically correspond to your erotic template How group sex / orgies are at the top of most people's sexual fantasy Understanding the need to start slow when acting out role play with your partner The importance of role play in a relationship to keep elements of danger and excitement Understanding the attraction of a rape fantasy The sexual power play dynamics Game of Thrones creates in its scenes The role romance plays in a sexual fantasy Understanding why the Jon Snow and Ygritte sex scene is the most popular   Resources https://www.hbo.com/game-of-thrones http://www.sexologypodcast.com/2017/07/11/293/ EP27 - Sexuality in Game of Thrones https://www.amazon.com/Arousal-Secret-Logic-Sexual-Fantasies/dp/0312302428 https://www.ledevoir.com/culture/ecrans/552035/grand-angle-le-trone-de-fer-c-est-nous#   https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care https://twitter.com/oasis2care https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

16 Huhti 201925min