It Would Have Just Been Easier If..

It Would Have Just Been Easier If..

It would have been so much easier if he just would have hit me, just once. But he didn’t.

It would have been easier if he had just been a jerk to me all the time. But he wasn’t. It would be easier to see the abuse. It would be easier to talk about it and identify it. It would be easier to explain it to others. It would be easier to leave. It would be easier to not be in the relationship in the first place. It would just be easier if they were an asshole all the time. But they aren't. There certainly were days where I thought to myself, this would all be easier if he were just mean all the time. But he truly wasn’t and still isn’t. He has good traits too. He is charming at times. He is helpful. He is funny and even pleasant to be around.This is certainly a large part of the problem with covert narcissists. Those good traits can leave a victim in a huge quandary for years or even decades. Even four and a half years out of my marriage, this quandary showed up yet again.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

  • Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
  • Are you searching for people who get it?
  • Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
  • Are you running in circles in your mind?
  • Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
  • Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com


Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism


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The Moment Something Finally Clicked: Seeing Covert Narcissistic Abuse Clearly

The Moment Something Finally Clicked: Seeing Covert Narcissistic Abuse Clearly

There is often a moment in covert narcissistic relationships when something finally shifts. The confusion begins to clear, the patterns start to make sense, and you realize that what you’ve been exper...

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Healthy Boundaries After Trauma: Why You Lost Yourself in Covert Narcissistic Dynamics (Barb Nangle Part 2)

Healthy Boundaries After Trauma: Why You Lost Yourself in Covert Narcissistic Dynamics (Barb Nangle Part 2)

Episode Notes This episode is part two of a special bonus series I’m sharing from another podcast that I think many of you will deeply connect with. The show is called Shit That Goes On in Our Heads, ...

15 Huhti 40min

Why It Took You So Long to See It: Cognitive Dissonance in Covert Narcissistic Abuse

Why It Took You So Long to See It: Cognitive Dissonance in Covert Narcissistic Abuse

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why didn’t I see it sooner?” after being in a covert narcissistic relationship, you are not alone. The truth is, you didn’t miss the signs—your body was recognizing the...

12 Huhti 21min

The Moment Connection Turns Into Correction: Covert Narcissism in Conversations

The Moment Connection Turns Into Correction: Covert Narcissism in Conversations

In this episode, we explore a subtle but deeply damaging communication pattern often seen in covert narcissism—when connection turns into correction. What starts as a normal, everyday conversation can...

9 Huhti 22min

Codependency, Trauma, and Why Boundaries Change Everything: Barb Nangle (Part 1)

Codependency, Trauma, and Why Boundaries Change Everything: Barb Nangle (Part 1)

If you struggle with codependency, covert narcissism, or feeling stuck in one-sided relationships, this episode will help you understand why. If you’ve ever felt like your value came from taking care ...

7 Huhti 45min

The Vampire Effect Part 2: Why You Feel Dead Inside (Covert Narcissistic Abuse)

The Vampire Effect Part 2: Why You Feel Dead Inside (Covert Narcissistic Abuse)

What if leaving the relationship doesn’t mean you’re free? In this episode, we continue The Vampire Effect series and explore what happens after prolonged exposure to covert narcissistic abuse—when yo...

5 Huhti 23min

The Vampire Effect: How Covert Narcissists Slowly Drain You

The Vampire Effect: How Covert Narcissists Slowly Drain You

What if covert narcissistic abuse doesn’t feel like an attack… but like a slow drain? In this episode, we explore The Vampire Effect—a powerful metaphor that reveals how covert narcissists gradually c...

2 Huhti 31min

The War Inside You: Why You Still Miss Them After Covert Narcissistic Abuse (IFS Explained)

The War Inside You: Why You Still Miss Them After Covert Narcissistic Abuse (IFS Explained)

Why do you still miss someone who hurt you? If you’ve experienced covert narcissistic abuse, this question can feel confusing, frustrating, and even shameful. You can see the manipulation, the gasligh...

29 Maalis 25min

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