Episode 331 - Rough Sex... and Rougher Sex!

Nothing makes me happier than people taking pleasure into their own hands, so my team and I have assembled the 10 MOST popular articles on SexWithEmily.com and we are dedicating this episode to the things our listeners most want to hear. Spoiler alert: you all love porn. And giving pleasure. I see what you’re interested in, I see what you’re curious about – so I consider today’s show scripted by you. It’s a deep dive into our most read articles; whether it’s preparing for a threesome, mastering awkward sex positions, or learning how to squirt.  So buckle up, because this is quite the content-filled episode. Alright, let’s dive in! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

28 Tammi 202240min

When you hear the phrase “self-care,” what comes to mind? Bubble baths? Booking a massage? Those things are all lovely (I’d argue essential), but I’ve got one more thing to add to your self-care routine, and I’m going to make a case for it: solo sex, AKA masturbation.  If you’re a regular listener to this show, you know how much of a solo sex advocate I am. But we’re going to go a little deeper into this topic, because there’s still a lot of shame associated with masturbation: fear of getting caught, embarrassment about our noises and facial expressions, confusion around toys and which ones are best. That’s why today’s show is your Solo Sex 101, where we create a solo sex routine that works for you, get into all the ways solo sex nourishes your mental health, and how to get into the right headspace for it. Plus, I take your questions! When masturbation feels depressing, how do you learn to love it? Or when you’re asked to masturbate in front of your partner, but feel self-conscious about it, what do you do? I tackle these questions and so many more, on our solo sextravaganza.  Show Notes: Dr Emily’s Shop Page Dame Fin  Je Joue Mimi More on Information on EMDR Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

26 Tammi 202252min

Let’s cut right to the chase: doggy style is hot-looking, but is it hot-feeling? I can’t tell you how many questions I get about this position, mostly from people who are confused…wondering if they’re doing it wrong. You’re not! You may just need to tweak it a bit, to make it work for your body. So on today’s show, I give you my favorite doggy style hacks, because let’s be honest — no one wants a broken penis. Let’s avoid the ER, and give you the hot doggy style sex you deserve. Plus, I take your questions! Is polyamory more natural than monogamy? What should you do if you catch feelings for your friend-with-benefits? Is it really cheating if you have a no-sex kink session with an old flame? And finally — body dysmorphia of the vulva. Do you have it? Friends: let me help you love it! Don’t buy the hype, by which I mean false standards. I tell you exactly how to make your vulva a MUCH-deserved object of your affection. Show Notes: Skyn Condoms Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

21 Tammi 202230min

Here in the 21st century, we’re fascinated by something that was invented in the 7th century: tantra, and more specifically, tantric sex. But it’s also one of the most misunderstood practices around, starting with: it’s not just about sex! Tantra is an entire world of spirituality, intimacy, breathwork and presence, which is precisely why I have Barbara Carellas, founder of Urban Tantra, on the show with me today. A pioneer in the world of tantric healing practices, Barbara gives us the real deal on these sacred techniques – and shows us how we can use them in the modern world, for full body pleasure, higher states of consciousness, and a radically deeper connection with your partner.  Plus, I take your questions! How do you stay in the present moment during sex, and not disassociate while it’s happening – or, get so nervous that you block all the pleasure? I’ve got some thoughts on that. For More Information on Barbara: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | Facebook Show Notes: Emily’s Shop Page Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

19 Tammi 202239min

When it comes to sex in longterm relationships, why do they start hot, then go lukewarm? Why does our eroticism go dormant, once the newness of a relationship wears off? And what are some specific strategies for bringing back the heat we desperately long for? It’s part 2 in our Best Of special on taking your sex life from stale to sexy, and I can’t wait to let you listen in on my conversations with John Wineland and Esther Perel, and a bit of wisdom from Tom Bilyeu. John is a relationship coach specializing in polarity and embodiment, and for this show, I’ve selected his most potent advice on hot sex. According to John, getting in touch with our masculine and feminine energies – regardless of gender – has the power to transform the way we show up in bed. Next, I talk to Esther Perel, well recognized couples therapist, author and fellow podcaster, who explains how a couple’s sex life loses its passion. Our partners become reliable and safe, which is great for a relationship, but according to Esther…not always great for sex. So how do we revive the mystery, the risk, and a sense of adventure with our partners? Listen for the sensual techniques she uses to help couples get back in touch with their hungry side. Finally, Impact Theory’s Tom Bilyeu dishes on desire – and why attraction for other people is not death for a relationship.  Show Notes: John Wineland | Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Youtube Esther Perel | Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Youtube Tom Bilyeu | Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

14 Tammi 202255min

It’s the #1 question I get as a sex educator: “our sex life is stale, how do we make it hot again?” For long-term couples, this issue is so common it’s almost a cliche. “Once you’re married, say goodbye to your sex life! Haha!”  Except, it’s not funny, right? It’s actually pretty painful, once the new relationship energy wears off, and we no longer have that magical chemical cocktail running through our veins. That’s why I am so pleased to be doing a two-part, Best Of special on this precise topic, kicking things off with sex educator Ian Kerner, author of the iconic book “She Comes First” and his latest, “So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex?” I’m also sharing advice from Drs. John and Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute, who have led some of the most comprehensive studies on successful couples, and the key ingredients of their success. (Which includes a great sex life, of course.) I’m pulling out the best-of-the-best of their advice and techniques, so you can try them yourself, and create your own “arousal runway” to bring excitement back into your relationship and the bedroom.  Show Notes: Ian Kerner | Website | Twitter | Books The Gottman Institute | Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

11 Tammi 202251min

Squirting during sex: how, exactly, does it happen? Which body part controls it? And what the hell is it made out of? For vulva owners, squirting is a thing of mystery - but it doesn’t need to be. In this special Best Of episode, I’m giving you my tips and firsthand experience with squirting as well as highlights of my conversation with sex educator Deborah Sundahl, who teaches us exactly how to squirt -- and I mean, step by step. For example: did you know, vulva owners, that you have a prostate? That’s the g-spot, despite headlines you see every few months questioning its very existence. Also: did you know that clitoral orgasms and g-spot orgasms are two different things? Finally, with time and practice, did you know that EVERY vulva owner can squirt? It’s not magic -- it’s anatomy! Plus, I take your questions on squirting, from how to start, best positions to do it, and how to communicate to your partner what you want them to do.  Show Notes: Deborah Sundahl: Website | Book Fascinator Throw Ejaculation blanket Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

7 Tammi 202236min

We’ve all heard of red flags in relationships, but let’s be honest: sometimes, they can be terribly hard to spot. Especially when you really want a relationship to work, or, if the other person is super hot. (Am I right?) That’s why I’m bringing you a special episode today, focused on all things red flags -- and green flags -- with my two favorite voices on the matter, psychologist and author Dr. Ramani, and YouTube’s (and probably the world’s) favorite dating coach, Matthew Hussey.  Dr. Ramani and I take a deep dive on narcissism, and talk through things like love bombing, devaluation, and the different types of narcissists out there -- as well as the personality types who tend to fall for them. And if you’re thinking, “I wouldn’t possibly fall for that nonsense,” think again! These folks are master manipulators, and at their core, deeply insecure. Next, Matthew Hussey walks us through our own less-than-ideal tendencies, such as: why we keep going for aloof and unavailable people, how we repeat painful patterns from our childhood, and how we ignore someone’s inconvenient truth. But Matthew also tells us what to look for when we’re dating someone new, such as curiosity, equal investment, and consistency with words and actions. If you’re dating right now, listen to this episode -- twice.  Show Notes: Dr Remani: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube Matthew Hussey: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

4 Tammi 202255min