Nina Hartley: Porn Star, Activist, and Hand Job Expert
Sex With Emily19 Syys 2013

Nina Hartley: Porn Star, Activist, and Hand Job Expert

The iconic Porn Star Nina Hartley talks about making porn, feminism, non-monogamy, and how to give a woman the perfect hand job (there is some light pulling and pinching involved). Nina Hartley also talks boldly about the butt. Nina says, “Butts are like cats. They have to be coaxed and seduced every time. They are moody and you can’t fool a butt into liking you, or feeling relaxed. Butts know when the thing touching them is paying attention, or being a jerk.” In other words, if you want to get down and dirty with anal sex, you must have open communication with your partner and feel genuinely comfortable with your butt (and what’s going on inside of it). While drunken anal sex might seem like the greatest thing in the world, it’s better to be fully aware of what is happening and be cognizant of hygiene rules. Before you even get to anal sex or intercourse for that matter, you need to find out what kind of relationships you’re looking for. Are you monogamous and looking for one mate, or are you non-monogamous and ready to land in more than one place? Nina talks about her sexual identity and how she embraced a non-monogamous lifestyle. When we're younger, we often make the same mistakes over and over again. Sleeping with people who don’t care about us, and getting in relationships with people who don’t want the same things as we do, and feeling guilty for having a love life that falls short of a romantic comedy. You have to figure out what works for you, and not anyone else. Some people enjoy random sex, other people don’t. Nina enjoys doing porn because she likes having sex with people without having to date them. Other people find that having sex with strangers makes them feel empty. Find out what kind of relationships makes you happy, and don’t look back. Finally, Nina Hartley gives descriptive directions on how to pleasure a woman with your hands. You’ll learn how to lightly pinch and pull her clitoris and make it move. Nina gives great foreplay tips, because unless she says, “do me right now you sexy beast,” you’re going to have to get her warmed up for sex. Special Offer for listeners of Sex with Emily: Freak In The Sheets If you want to change your love life check out: Emily and Tony, Promescent,Crazy Girl, Max4Men, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Emily and Tony is a premium, intimate personal-care brand that believes intimacy should be fun, flirty, sensual and natural. Our products: Aromatherapy Massage Candle, Personal Naturally Hydrating Lubricant, and DownUnder Comfort for you sweaty nether regions. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Crazy Girl and Max4Men. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. Or use coupon code Emily for 15% off anything at Good Vibrations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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We’re Giving Up Performative Sex

We’re Giving Up Performative Sex

We all experience performance anxiety in bed from time to time. We get in our heads, we worry we’re not hot / good / skilled enough, and sometimes we try to be people we’re not during sex. That’s why today’s episode is about identifying different types of performance anxiety, so that we can show up more confident and relaxed for sex. First I talk through O-blockers: common reasons your orgasm and overall pleasure hit a limit. Next I bring up popular “personas” people adopt in bed, like the cool girl/guy who’s down for whatever (even when you’re actually not) and the super dominant, in-charge lover (even when you’re actually more submissive). Finally, I give you strategies to increase your sexual confidence and take all of your sexual anxiety questions. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why performative sex is killing your pleasure—and how to stop. How to ditch “porn mode” and tap into real turn-ons.  The secret to being fully present (and having better orgasms). Show Notes: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code SWE. Buy The Smart Sex New Paperback Cover Now! Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.  SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website  Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube Let’s text: Sign up here Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

28 Helmi 35min

The Kinkiest Sex Positions Are…

The Kinkiest Sex Positions Are…

How do you take a classic sex position and make it kinky? On today’s show, I’m telling you exactly how. Inspired by the positions chapter in Smart Sex, I’m talking through two specific positions that bring the kink – and another classic that you can spice up with a little power play. First, I’m looking at Cowgirl/Cowboy and talking through its pros, cons, and evolutions to introduce kinky dynamics. Next, I’m talking Doggy Style (or as I like to call it: Rear Entry) and breaking down its inherent kink dynamics and ideas to make it even more exciting. Finally, we’re looking at Missionary, which I think we can all agree needs a kinky rebrand. I’ll give you ideas to make it more surprising and sexy. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to turn classic sex positions into kinky, pleasure-boosting experiences. Why even small tweaks—like tempo and control—can make you kinkier than you think. The secret to better orgasms in any position (hint: clitoral stimulation is key). Show Notes: Buy The Smart Sex New Paperback Cover Now! Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.  SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website  Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube Let’s text: Sign up here Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

25 Helmi 30min

Playing Without a Partner w/ Dr. Megan Stubbs

Playing Without a Partner w/ Dr. Megan Stubbs

I’m joined by sexologist, relationships expert, body image specialist, and author of Playing Without a Partner Dr. Megan Stubbs. We dive into how to embrace every aspect of singlehood (hello, masturbation!) and why being single doesn’t have to be a layover, it can be your destination. We give tips for loving your body, ways to elevate your orgasm, and how to alleviate skin hunger when you aren’t in a relationship. Plus, we’re sharing tips for sending nudes, ways to create an optimal pre-date ritual, and ideas for being with a new partner. We also answer your questions about what to do if you feel insecure about the number of people you have slept with, how to increase emotional intimacy in the bedroom and what to do if you feel you’re in a “dry spell.” In this episode, you’ll learn: Why being single isn’t a “waiting room”—it’s a destination for confidence, self-love, and incredible orgasms. How to turn your solo pleasure game all the way up with masturbation, edging, and next-level orgasm hacks. The secrets to emotional intimacy in the bedroom (even if your partner struggles with it). Show Notes: More Dr. Megan Stubbs: Website | Instagram | Twitter (X) Buy The Smart Sex New Paperback Cover Now! Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.  SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website  Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube Let’s text: Sign up here Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

21 Helmi 38min

Calming The Chaos w/ Tal Rabinowitz

Calming The Chaos w/ Tal Rabinowitz

There’s no such thing as an “easy life” which is why it’s SO important to develop the right tools to help you handle everyday chaos. Today, I’m talking with Tal Rabinowitz who’s helping people around the world learn to find calm in their daily commotion with her company The DEN Meditation. She gives tips for beginners who’ve never tried calming their minds and shares how meditation can totally change your outlook on your relationship. We also talk about judgment, specifically how you can stop labeling everything as ‘bad’ or ‘good’ and simply let things be what they are. It’s 2025—and time to meditate, masturbate, and manifest for a better year. In this episode, you’ll learn: How meditation can transform your relationship—See your partner clearly and stop the blame game. Why chaos is personal—and powerful—Own it, don’t let it own you. The magic of breath—Calm your mind, spark your pleasure. Show Notes: More Tal Rabinowitz & The DEN Meditation: Website | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Tal's Instagram  Head to MarleySpoon.com/OFFER/SWE and use code SWE for up to 27 FREE meals! Buy The Smart Sex New Paperback Cover Now! Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.  SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website  Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube Let’s text: Sign up here Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

18 Helmi 46min

Sexy Bonding Hacks

Sexy Bonding Hacks

How do you kickstart sexual arousal? Would you believe me if I told you that sometimes, the best ways to get turned on have nothing to do with sex itself? When you take the focus off the bedroom, and turn your focus toward adventure – the kind that gets your heart-pumping, your adrenaline going, and your anticipation building – a cool thing happens in your brain. You’re excited, and that excitement spills over from the activity into…sex. Pretty nifty, right? So on today’s show, we’re going to trust, touch, and titillate our way towards arousal, with bonding hacks you can use on your next date whether it is with a long term partner or someone new. Plus, I take your questions! Ways to feel confident and sexual again after a breakup, how to have kinky sex with a partner who says they aren’t interested, how to decide if you should wait to develop a relationship with a super busy person or cut em’ loose, how to take sexy pictures with each other, and how to communicate your needs efficiently outside the bedroom so that you can reignite the spark when you’re back inside. In this episode, you’ll learn: Sexy bonding hacks that build trust, boost intimacy, and turn you on How adrenaline-fueled dates like rock climbing or karaoke make you hotter for each other The fix for mismatched kinks, low libido, and getting your sex life back on track Show Notes: Buy The Smart Sex New Paperback Cover Now! Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.  SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website  Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube Let’s text: Sign up here Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

14 Helmi 47min

Dating Apps, Red Flags & Bad Habits w/ Logan Ury

Dating Apps, Red Flags & Bad Habits w/ Logan Ury

Logan Ury, the author of How to Not Die Alone and director of Relationship Science at Hinge, joins me to share her best tips for all things dating. Logan provides practical tips for avoiding dating blindspots, the drawbacks of unrealistic expectations, and algorithms to live by for finding a satisfying relationship.  We discuss how ‘dealbreakers’ may be an excuse for avoiding connection, how attachment styles affect our dating outcomes, the paradox of choice in the dating world, and how to get out of the checklist mindset. She also breaks down the most common dating tendencies, shares strategies behind making the best decisions, explains why ‘the spark’ may be B.S., and even offers how-to advice for creating a powerful dating profile. Even if you’re not dating, you will learn techniques that will strengthen all your relationships. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why the spark is total BS—and what actually makes a relationship last How your dating type (romanticizer, maximizer, or hesitator) is messing with your love life The secret to making better choices in dating—so you can finally find your person Show Notes: More Logan Ury: Instagram | Twitter | Website For their buy 1 get 1 50% off deal, head to 3DayBlinds.com/SWE.   To get 6 bottles of wine for $39.99, head to NakedWines.com/SWE and use code SWE for both the code AND PASSWORD.  Buy Smart Sex New Paperback Cover Now! Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.  SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website  Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube Let’s text: Sign up here Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

11 Helmi 50min

Want Better Orgasms? Fix Your Gut First

Want Better Orgasms? Fix Your Gut First

Better sex starts in your gut—who knew? Microbiologist Kiran Krishnan joins me to break down the gut-sex connection, from how digestion impacts libido and orgasms to why stress and diet could be killing your pleasure. We’ll get into what “leaky gut” actually is, how it messes with your hormones, and the simple, science-backed habits that will boost your energy, balance your body, and supercharge your sex life. In this episode, you’ll learn: How your gut health affects your sex life—from libido to orgasms and even erections. Why stress wrecks your gut and lowers your desire (plus how to fix it). Five simple gut-friendly habits to boost energy, balance hormones, and have better sex. Show Notes: More Kiran Krishnan: Instagram Try Just Thrive Probiotic Today! Go to justthrivehealth.com and use promo code "SEXWITHEMILY" to save 20% at checkout. Ready for a junk-free start to 2025? Head to Thrive Market.com/swe and get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!  Buy Smart Sex New Paperback Cover Now! Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.  SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website  Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube Let’s text: Sign up here Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

7 Helmi 44min

Behind The Porn Curtain w/ Jacky St. James & Ana Foxxx

Behind The Porn Curtain w/ Jacky St. James & Ana Foxxx

Ever wonder what happens behind the scenes of your favorite porn? Today I’m joined by adult film director Jacky St. James and performer Ana Foxxx. We discuss their hottest scenes, what it’s like being on set, what constitutes ‘ethical porn’ and whether porn actors fake their orgasms. Plus, Jacky walks me through her approach to creating an adult film and how porn industry has evolved over time. Ana shares what it’s like dating as a porn star, details from her dirty 30 birthday party and how porn has shaped her sex life on and off-screen. We also answer your questions like: is porn scripted or spontaneous and is it normal to get jealous when your partner watches porn? In this episode, you’ll learn: What really happens on a porn set, from fake orgasms to real chemistry. How porn shapes real-life sex and what actually feels good. Why ethical porn hits different with real pleasure, real connection, and no male gaze. Show Notes: More Jacky St. James: Website | Instagram | Twitter (X) More Ana Foxxx: OnlyFans | Instagram | Twitter (X) Buy Smart Sex New Paperback Cover Now! Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.  SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website  Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube Let’s text: Sign up here Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

4 Helmi 48min

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