Stoic Moment Podcast10 Touko 2021

If They Won't Change, Can you? - Episode 8

Hi everyone, Gavin here.

Today's episode came about following a conversation I had with someone recently. They were talking about how hurt they were that a gesture they had made for someone in the past that went unappreciated and instead of receiving praise they were left feeling criticized and disappointed. It turned out this event happened about 25 (TWENTY FIVE!) years ago and it struck me that this person had been carrying this feeling within them for such a long time they hadn't thought to question it. Secretly causing them a lot of grief along the way.

What struck me next was that it was my instant reaction to phrase a response something long the lines of this podcast, which from an outsider's perspective seemed useful and intended to be caring. What I wanted to add though was that it also made me reflect inwards - that as easy as it was for me to offer a response such as this one I had to examine myself too, and I realised that in offering the advice to another I could see that I have on many occasions felt and carried the resentment of a response or reaction that I didn't want or didn't feel like I deserved.

In doing so, I could see how the words contained in this podcast were also of absolute benefit to me - something which I had conveniently overlooked to begin with.

The title is the question I put to my friend and then afterwards, to myself.

"If they won't change, can you?"

Thank you for checking out the podcast - please give us a shout out on social media and get in touch if there's more you want to know about in future episodes - Gavin

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