Episode 10: Breaking Down Behaviors of NPD with Dr. Les Carter
Next Up: Narcissism21 Kesä 2024

Episode 10: Breaking Down Behaviors of NPD with Dr. Les Carter

Today, the word “narcissist” is frequently thrown around and used within inappropriate contexts, such as a broad label for “toxic” individuals. How, then, do we differentiate between someone with unhealthy patterns and the manipulative behaviors of a person with NPD? In this episode, Dr. Z talks with Dr. Les Carter, a clinical psychologist and founder of Surviving Narcissism, who provides deep insights into narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) including its specific cognitive processes and behaviors.

The discussion highlights the critical differences between those who display narcissistic patterns due to upbringing and those with a true NPD, emphasizing that the latter rarely changes due to a lack of internal values and inability to self-reflect. However, despite the challenges of treating someone with narcissistic “traits,” Dr. Carter shares a rare success story of a family member who overcame their narcissistic tendencies through personal crisis and therapy.

Dr. Carter explains that while those with NPD often react defensively to being labeled, they do possess a level of awareness about their manipulative actions, often acting secretly and evasively. The episode also delves into the concept of “dark empathy,” where narcissists use their understanding of others’ emotions for manipulation rather than connection. Dr. Carter notes that true empathy is hard to cultivate in those with NPD, especially older individuals.

Quotes

  • “When they hear the word narcissist, it’s almost as though there’s a pathological fear that they have regarding that word. It’s like, ‘You’re not calling me that word, are you?’ And they just think of it as a dirty name, which tells you something already because if you’re being an objective person, then you would just say, ‘Why don't we talk about it? If you’re asking that question, I’d be more than happy to discuss it with you,’ which would be a very non-narcissistic way of responding. So the question is, do they know that they are being narcissistic? What they know is that you’re an idiot.” (02:57 | Dr. Les Carter)
  • “Narcissists do know that there’s something foul that they’re doing that offends other people, which is why they’re secretive, etc. But then the rationalization ingredient can become so powerful and so strong and so overwhelming that it overrides the truth.” (10:38 | Dr. Les Carter)
  • “You’re going to be able to tell most about an individual’s level of personal maturity by watching how they respond to conflict. And because healthy people can manage it... When you have somebody that’s on that extreme end of narcissistic personality and you bring this to their attention, they’re going to rationalize it. They’re not going to admit to anything. They’re not going to want to talk about any conflict. They’re not going to want to find a resolution unless the act of finding a resolution benefits them in some way.” (35:12 | Dr. Les Carter & Dr. Z)

Links

Sign Up for my LIVE Virtual Summer Support Group here: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Connect with Dr. Les Carter:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SurvivingNarcissism/featured

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/survivingnarcissism101

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingnarcissism101/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SNarcissism101

Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:

https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Jaksot(58)

Episode 3: Boundaries and Narcissistic Parents with Terri Cole

Episode 3: Boundaries and Narcissistic Parents with Terri Cole

“Expect that you're going to get pushback from them, because you will,” says Terri Cole, about what can happen when establishing boundaries with others. Terri is a licensed psychotherapist and author of “Boundary Boss.” Together with host Dr. Z, they delve into the critical aspects of setting boundaries and managing interactions with a narcissistic parent.   Terri defines boundaries as personal rules of engagement that communicate to others what behaviors you are willing, and not willing, to tolerate.  Alongside Dr. Z, they explore the common challenges of setting boundaries, including the difficulty of maintaining them in the face of pushback. Terri also introduces a unique framework for categorizing what she refers to as "boundary offenders." They are: Boundary First-Timer, Repeat Offender, and Boundary Destroyer.   Terri and Dr. Z also discuss the challenges of setting boundaries with narcissistic parents and the unique approaches required to effectively manage these extremely complex relationships. Red flags and common behavior patterns of narcissistic parenting are explored, including the use of emotional blackmail and competitiveness with their children.    Tune in to this episode of “Next Up: Narcissism”  to gain valuable insights into how to identify narcissistic parenting dynamics, strategies to establish and maintain effective boundaries, and how to protect your own mental health while fostering authentic and healthy relationships.   Quotes “Your boundaries are comprised of your preferences, your desires, your limits, and your deal-breakers—your non-negotiables. So really think about what that is, preferences, desires, limits, and deal-breakers. It's not enough to know them, which a lot of people don't even know. You have to know them and then have the ability to clearly and concisely communicate them when you so choose.” (02:54 | Terri Cole) “This is what makes having healthy boundaries so complicated for people because even if you do spend enough time on yourself to know what your preferences are, knowing how to set a limit with someone else can be very challenging, because we're all raised and praised to be self-abandoning codependents.” (03:22 | Terri Cole) “The reason why boundaries are broken up into the categories that they are, according to me, is because they don't all carry the same weight.” (09:00 | Terri Cole)   Links Connect with Terri Cole: terricole.com/workshop terricole.com/fatherwound  https://boundarybossbook.com/ https://www.instagram.com/terricole/ Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/ https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/ https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

10 Touko 202452min

Next Up: Narcissism - Trailer

Next Up: Narcissism - Trailer

With a real, raw, and relatable approach, clinical psychologist and narcissism expert, Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, takes a hard look at narcissistic abuse and its devastating effects across relationships of all types. Next Up: Narcissism explores all things narcissism and mental health; educating listeners on the patterns of narcissistic abuse, including gaslighting, love bombing, and coercive control. Listen in each week as we breakdown these toxic behaviors, and offer concrete strategies and actionable steps to help you navigate these toxic relationships. Through in-depth discussions, Q&A’s and expert guests, you will learn the skills and tactics to unravel this web of chaos, helping you to move forward into a healthier, happier and healed life.

20 Maalis 20242min

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