Episode 14: Surviving and Thriving After Trauma Bonds with Dr. Nadine Macaluso
Next Up: Narcissism19 Heinä 2024

Episode 14: Surviving and Thriving After Trauma Bonds with Dr. Nadine Macaluso

“I was in a quintessential trauma bond with my ex-husband, the ‘Wolf of Wall Street,’ Jordan Belfort,” says Dr. Nadine Macaluso. “It started, as most trauma bonds do, with love bombing and promises of love and adoration forever, along with extreme affection. It was very intense and fast-paced, and then it blew up like many trauma bonds do.”

Dr. Nadine, also known as Dr. Nae, is an author and licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in trauma bonds, narcissistic abuse, complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), and somatic therapy. In this episode, Dr. Nae joins Dr. Z to share her own personal story of narcissistic abuse survival, including the psychological, emotional, financial, and legal challenges she faced within her own relationship with Jordan Belfort. She discusses her healing journey, and how her experiences navigating her own trauma bonding put her on the path to help those in similar circumstances. Dr. Nae emphasizes that the abusive behavior of a partner is never the victim’s fault, and that there is always hope and a path to healing.

In addition to her extensive clinical work, Dr. Nae is the author of “Run Like Hell: A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Healing, and Escaping from Trauma Bonds.” Her work offers insights into identifying the signs of narcissistic abuse and how to break free from trauma bonds.

This episode is a powerful message of hope and resilience, encouraging listeners to recognize their own worth and seek the support they need to reclaim their sense of self.

Quotes

  • “When he first wrote the book, which later became a movie, I just remember thinking inside, ‘I survived this incredible Greek tragedy,’ because that’s what it always felt like—the depth of the pain I had endured. And now it’s entertainment. Inside, I just said to myself, ‘You know, Nadine,’—I fought and wrestled with myself—but then I said, ‘This is bigger than you, and you have to surrender to this.’” (18:43 | Dr. Nadine Macaluso)
  • “We can’t build resiliency in isolation. The only way we can build authentic confidence is to approach what we fear. And so, with the help of people, never by myself, I just kept approaching life.” (27:20 | Dr. Nadine Macaluso)
  • “It really wasn’t spoken about, and it’s so great that it is now because it is a very isolating experience with so much shame and embarrassment. There’s just so much to climb through to get out of it. Then you have children and financial dependency, and the court system, right? It works against all of us in breaking free and getting healthier. Yet, here we are today having this conversation. My book was a labor of love; it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t think I’ll ever do that again. It was a very humbling experience.” (40:03 | Dr. Nadine Macaluso)
  • “Trauma lives in the body. It’s an experience that overwhelms us, and our nervous system, unfortunately, integrates it… After a trauma bond, you feel so unsafe in the world. How do I get people to feel safe in their bodies? With breath work, grounding exercises, and really listening to their bodies. This helps them contain their feelings because there’s so much emotional dysregulation that happens. As we know, our thoughts and minds aren’t always our best friends. I always say the true self lives between your throat and your pelvic floor.” (42:08 | Dr. Nadine Macaluso)

Links

Connect with Nadine Macaluso:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealdrnadine/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drnaelmft

Run Like Hell: A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Healing, and Escaping from Trauma Bonds: https://amzn.to/3KRssRF

Website: https://drnae.com/

Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:

https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Jaksot(58)

Episode 3: Boundaries and Narcissistic Parents with Terri Cole

Episode 3: Boundaries and Narcissistic Parents with Terri Cole

“Expect that you're going to get pushback from them, because you will,” says Terri Cole, about what can happen when establishing boundaries with others. Terri is a licensed psychotherapist and author of “Boundary Boss.” Together with host Dr. Z, they delve into the critical aspects of setting boundaries and managing interactions with a narcissistic parent.   Terri defines boundaries as personal rules of engagement that communicate to others what behaviors you are willing, and not willing, to tolerate.  Alongside Dr. Z, they explore the common challenges of setting boundaries, including the difficulty of maintaining them in the face of pushback. Terri also introduces a unique framework for categorizing what she refers to as "boundary offenders." They are: Boundary First-Timer, Repeat Offender, and Boundary Destroyer.   Terri and Dr. Z also discuss the challenges of setting boundaries with narcissistic parents and the unique approaches required to effectively manage these extremely complex relationships. Red flags and common behavior patterns of narcissistic parenting are explored, including the use of emotional blackmail and competitiveness with their children.    Tune in to this episode of “Next Up: Narcissism”  to gain valuable insights into how to identify narcissistic parenting dynamics, strategies to establish and maintain effective boundaries, and how to protect your own mental health while fostering authentic and healthy relationships.   Quotes “Your boundaries are comprised of your preferences, your desires, your limits, and your deal-breakers—your non-negotiables. So really think about what that is, preferences, desires, limits, and deal-breakers. It's not enough to know them, which a lot of people don't even know. You have to know them and then have the ability to clearly and concisely communicate them when you so choose.” (02:54 | Terri Cole) “This is what makes having healthy boundaries so complicated for people because even if you do spend enough time on yourself to know what your preferences are, knowing how to set a limit with someone else can be very challenging, because we're all raised and praised to be self-abandoning codependents.” (03:22 | Terri Cole) “The reason why boundaries are broken up into the categories that they are, according to me, is because they don't all carry the same weight.” (09:00 | Terri Cole)   Links Connect with Terri Cole: terricole.com/workshop terricole.com/fatherwound  https://boundarybossbook.com/ https://www.instagram.com/terricole/ Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/ https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/ https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

10 Touko 202452min

Next Up: Narcissism - Trailer

Next Up: Narcissism - Trailer

With a real, raw, and relatable approach, clinical psychologist and narcissism expert, Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, takes a hard look at narcissistic abuse and its devastating effects across relationships of all types. Next Up: Narcissism explores all things narcissism and mental health; educating listeners on the patterns of narcissistic abuse, including gaslighting, love bombing, and coercive control. Listen in each week as we breakdown these toxic behaviors, and offer concrete strategies and actionable steps to help you navigate these toxic relationships. Through in-depth discussions, Q&A’s and expert guests, you will learn the skills and tactics to unravel this web of chaos, helping you to move forward into a healthier, happier and healed life.

20 Maalis 20242min

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