Ep. 10: Tips on Oral Sex, Not Feeling Like Doin’ It, and Sex Toys

Ep. 10: Tips on Oral Sex, Not Feeling Like Doin’ It, and Sex Toys

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:


  1. I’ve just started my first relationship with a woman - my others have all been with men. I wonder if you could give me some tips on giving another woman oral sex. I feel like I should know how to do it, because I’ve got what she’s got. But it’s not as easy as I thought. I feel like I’m terrible at it.
  2. Sometimes I would do anything to have sex and other times, I couldn’t think of anything worse. My partner gets really annoyed with me and says he doesn’t know where he is with it all. Why does this happen and how can I make him understand it’s not my fault it happens? Is it something to do with my menstrual cycle?
  3. I have always enjoyed using sex toys with partners but my new boyfriend is really threatened by them. Most especially my favorite vibrator, which is a Rabbit. How can I get him to relax and enjoy them like my other lovers have?


And offers her sex tip of the week!


To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jaksot(169)

S5 Ep. 6: My Partner Has a Secret Sexting Account, How to Convince a Lover to Try Sex Toys, and Is a Marriage Better or Worse if You've Only Ever Slept with Each Other?

S5 Ep. 6: My Partner Has a Secret Sexting Account, How to Convince a Lover to Try Sex Toys, and Is a Marriage Better or Worse if You've Only Ever Slept with Each Other?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) We are the couple that everyone either envies or pities. We have only ever had one sexual partner—each other. We’ve been very happily married for 15 years so far (we’re in our mid 30s) and sex is great. Well, I think so anyway. I do worry that my partner feels like he has missed out by not playing the field, being a man. I’ve asked him and he says he's perfectly happy and why would he want anyone else when I’m so sexy. He says all the right things, but I still get paranoid that he’s going to cheat or leave me because he didn’t get to sleep around before we met. What are your thoughts? 2) My partner of six years has a secret social media account where he’s been sexting other people and sending pictures and videos. I’m not sure where he’s met these women but I don’t think any have progressed into an in-person meet up or affair. I discovered the account a few weeks ago and can’t decide what to do about it. I don’t want to know if this has gone further because I know I couldn’t deal with it if it has. I absolutely adore him, we have young kids and a fantastic relationship. If this is all he’s up to, I’m thinking I might just leave him to it and say nothing. Is it any worse than him looking at porn? Or do you think it means he’s cheating in the flesh?3) I am a man who has been married for 32 years and have a good sex life with my wife. I am interested in trying new things like toys but every time I ask, she says that they are not for her. How can I convince her otherwise? What is the best way to introduce sex toys into the marriage?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

3 Touko 202325min

S5 Ep. 5: Tiresome Threesome Jokes, Why Did a Lost Erection Mean the End of Our Relationship, and What’s with the Thigh Biting?

S5 Ep. 5: Tiresome Threesome Jokes, Why Did a Lost Erection Mean the End of Our Relationship, and What’s with the Thigh Biting?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) Whenever we go to parties, my husband always makes jokes about having a threesome with one of my best friends. It’s starting to be really weird, and I can tell it’s on his mind all the time. Is that normal? Am I not enough for him anymore?2) I need help figuring out what went wrong with a great relationship I was having. We’d been together for six weeks, everything was perfect, we made out loads but I didn’t want to have full sex until I was sure of him. When we finally did it, it was good sex…but he didn’t finish. The next morning, we did it again and it happened again. He lost his erection. He didn’t seem unduly disturbed by it all but when he left, he was distant. Then he ghosted me. I’ve heard nothing from him since. Was this to do with him not being able to come? Am I a really bad lover or not tight enough? Why else would he suddenly change his mind?3) My new partner and I are having the hottest sex I’ve ever had but it’s leaving it’s mark—literally. When he gives me oral sex, he bites my thighs to the point where he leaves bruises. I find it really arousing now but know that once the newness wears off, I’ll just find it leaves me feeling tender. Do I say something now or just wait and see. How common is this? I’ve never experienced it before.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

26 Huhti 202318min

S5 Ep. 4: I Hate the Way My Husband Initiates, How Do I Know If It’s Love or Loneliness, and What to Do When It’s Him Saying No to Sex

S5 Ep. 4: I Hate the Way My Husband Initiates, How Do I Know If It’s Love or Loneliness, and What to Do When It’s Him Saying No to Sex

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) Why can’t my husband change the way he approaches me for sex? He gives me this look that makes me want to run away…it’s primal, and it doesn’t feel good. I want him to start by just holding me and listening to me, but he says that isn’t what he wants at that time. Please help us with our communication!2) I’d love to know what you think of my situation. I’ve been with my partner for five years. We’re a straight couple and in our late 30s. It took me a long time to find a partner, and I worry that I compromised too much in the end. We get on okay, but I don’t feel passionate about him and I worry I am with him because it’s lonely being single. Our relationship seems based more on friendship than love.3) You’ve talked a lot about women going off sex on this podcast, but I have the opposite issue. My long-term partner has completely lost interest in me sexually and we haven’t had sex for three years. When I try to talk about it, he looks embarrassed and fobs me off and says he doesn’t want to talk about it. I am in my late 40s and keep myself looking good. I feel humiliated that he doesn’t find me sexually attractive anymore. All my other friends have husbands who hassle them for sex and I can’t get mine to look at me naked.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

19 Huhti 202323min

S5 Ep. 3: Emotional Affairs, How to Handle a Small Penis, and Is It Wrong to Only Want Sex When I’m Tipsy

S5 Ep. 3: Emotional Affairs, How to Handle a Small Penis, and Is It Wrong to Only Want Sex When I’m Tipsy

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I am having an emotional affair with one of my co-workers. I’ve been married for almost 10 years, and although I know this isn’t right, it’s making me feel alive again. Every part of me wants to sleep with this man, but I don’t want to hurt my husband’s feelings and I don’t want it to ruin my marriage. But, I have a deep desire to have this experience. What is your advice? It seems like both choices will hurt.2) I’m dating a man with a small penis. It’s not a problem for me because intercourse is my least favorite thing about sex, and I orgasm easily through oral sex. But I can tell he’s paranoid about it and it’s making me feel uncomfortable. It’s the elephant in the room. I think he’s desperate to talk about it, but I’m not sure how to broach the topic. I can’t just say, ‘Hey, so your penis is really small. Do you want to talk about that?’3) I enjoy having sex, but not without having a glass of wine or cocktail before. I used to be able to get in the mood, but now I need to be a bit tipsy. Is this okay?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

12 Huhti 202322min

S5 Ep. 2 The Benefits of Solo Sex, Should I Tell About my Past, and How Do I Get My Wife to Have More Sex with Me?

S5 Ep. 2 The Benefits of Solo Sex, Should I Tell About my Past, and How Do I Get My Wife to Have More Sex with Me?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) Tracey, you often talk about masturbation as something everyone should do, especially women. I’ve never done it, and have never seen the point. I asked my partner if he masturbates, and he said why would he need to when we have sex together? I get why you might want to do it if you’re single, but why would you do it if you’re in a relationship? 2) I’ve been married 8 years and with my husband for 14. We met at work. We know some of each other’s sexual history: numbers have been shared and they are similar. My husband knows I had a threesome and who with (thanks to my big-mouth friend). He hasn’t mentioned it since (this was disclosed very early in our relationship). What he doesn’t know is that I had another threesome with work colleagues long before he started at the company. It was so long ago and I don’t want it to cause issues, but is not telling him lying? There was also someone I slept with—again before he started at the company—who is an acquaintance. It's been bothering me for years. Is keeping quiet about all this the wrong or right thing to do?3) I fear I am asking this question on behalf of all men: how can I get my wife to want sex more often with me? We used to have it far more frequently but now she always has an excuse not to do it. I feel like I’m constantly hassling her and that makes me feel bad. We’ve been married for 27 years and I want to stay married—but I also need sex. Help!To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5 Huhti 202319min

S5 Ep. 1 Loss of Desire, Loud Lovers, and How to Tell my Long-Term Partner I've Had Herpes the Whole Time

S5 Ep. 1 Loss of Desire, Loud Lovers, and How to Tell my Long-Term Partner I've Had Herpes the Whole Time

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I have lost all desire to have sex: my libido has completely disappeared. I don’t want to have sex with my partner, I don’t masturbate, I don’t feel anything when I do attempt to have sex with him. I’m only 42. This isn’t a sudden thing, desire just gently slipped away. What’s wrong with me and what can be done to fix it? 2) My new boyfriend is too loud in bed. He’s loud out of it as well, but that’s not the problem. It’s not just when he orgasms either. He grunts and ‘oofs’ and talks and moans through. When he climaxes, I swear the neighbors stop and ask each other, ‘What the hell was that?’. I don’t care what the neighbors think but it’s off-putting. I am fascinated by why he makes so much noise and wonder how much of it is real and how much of it is for show. I don’t like to ask because it seems rude.3) I got herpes when I was very young: about 24. For years, I had awful attacks but then it disappeared. For about ten years, nothing! When I met my partner of five years, I didn’t even think about it. But then the outbreaks started again, and it’s become a real problem. I should have just told him the minute it happened, but I felt ashamed. That was two years ago. I avoid sex when I have an attack but it’s difficult and stressful. What should I do?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

29 Maalis 202323min

S4 Ep. 10: Religion and Sex, Playing the Field, and How Do I Tell My Partner I Enjoy Choking

S4 Ep. 10: Religion and Sex, Playing the Field, and How Do I Tell My Partner I Enjoy Choking

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I grew up with religious parents and I’ve had it drummed into me from a very early age that sex is for procreation, not recreation: You do it to have kids and not for pleasure. I am now married to a man who isn’t religious and who has taught me that sex is something adults enjoy. I know intellectually that he's right, but it’s like my body hasn’t caught up with me. I still find it very difficult to relax and enjoy the experience. Can you help? 2) I'm 29 and have had a pretty mild sex life with few relationships and hookups before my current 3 year relationship. My partner and I keep it very basic, and I'm fine with that for the most part. We do not talk about our sexual past and my partner has said he doesn't want to know anything about mine. The thing is, I once had a one-night stand with a man who did some light choking; and, to my surprise, I liked it. How can I tell my current partner to try something I think I like without admitting to having tried it before with someone else?3) What’s your view on casual sex? I’ve just finished a serious relationship and I’m not eager to rush into another one. He was my childhood sweetheart and I don’t have much experience with sex. But I do know I love it and am keen to explore a little while I’m single. I’m 26. To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

22 Helmi 202324min

S4 Ep. 9: How to Find a High-End Sex Club, Is Spontaneous Sex Important, and I've Gone Off Sex Since My Daughter was Born

S4 Ep. 9: How to Find a High-End Sex Club, Is Spontaneous Sex Important, and I've Gone Off Sex Since My Daughter was Born

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’ve always wanted to visit a high-end sex club and now that my relationship has finished, it's a good time to do it. The thing is, I have no clue where to start to find one? I don’t want anywhere tacky or sleazy. I’m a straight woman; though, I do confess—I’m a little bi-curious. 2) I’ve just married a man I’ve been with 5 years. We have pretty decent sex, but I worry that it’s not spontaneous. We do it once or twice a week on roughly the same days. Is it a bad sign that we aren’t overcome with lust at other times? 3) Since my daughter was born, I’ve gone off sex altogether. I still enjoy cuddling, but when my partner tries to take it further, I end up pushing him away. I can tell he’s getting frustrated with me, although he’d never say anything. I used to enjoy sex. What’s gone wrong?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15 Helmi 202327min

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