Ep. 24: The Affair Special: Do Details Help or Make it Worse, Should You Even Up the Score with Your Own Affair – And How Can You Ever Enjoy Sex with Them Again?

We’ve had so many questions in response to a cheating question we did, we thought we would do a special and answer questions that center around the three most asked themes:

1. THEME: SHOULD YOU ASK FOR DETAILS? My wife had an affair with an ex of hers who was always sniffing around. She stopped it after I found out (I found text messages). I do believe her when she says it’s stopped but I can’t stop wondering what they did together. I want to know the sordid details but also don’t want to know. Does it help people recover from affairs or make it worse, knowing exactly what went on?
2. THEME: SHOULD YOU EVEN UP THE SCORE BY HAVING YOUR OWN AFFAIR? I’ve been with my husband for 9 years, married for 2 of those. I found out a year after our wedding he lied to me about his Bach party in Canada. He went to strips clubs, he brought strippers back and had “private shows”. He even went as far as to hire prostitutes. I found out via a random message someone sent to me and he was forced to admit it. We’ve done couples counseling but I secretly still hate him and want revenge. Should I have my own affair to even the score?
3. THEME: HOW TO RESUME HAVING SEX AGAIN AFTER AN AFFAIR. My partner cheated on me. We’ve been to therapy and have decided to work through it but we haven’t had sex since I found out he cheated. I can’t even masturbate anymore. The instant image of him with a stripper ruins my mood because all I see is him with someone else. How do I get past this and enjoy sex with him and self sex again?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

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