Ep. 26: Unsettling Fantasies, Love Changes And Why Does He Still Watch Porn When He Has Me?

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I have been married for eight years and am worried my partner has fallen out of love with me. Our sex life is alright – we don’t do it as much as we did, but I know that’s normal. But we used to sit on the sofa together and now I’ve noticed he settles himself into an armchair. When I asked him why he said it’s better for his back. (He’s only 42 but he does have back problems so might be telling the truth?) We don’t hold hands anymore and he only says he loves me, if I say it first. Is this just how all relationships end up? I have always worried I love him much more than he loves me and that he may be planning to leave.
2. I love your podcast and am hoping you can help me make sense of something that keeps happening to me. I swear to God I’m the straightest man you will ever meet but I have a recurring fantasy which scares me. In it, I go to a gay club with my gay friends - I do this in reality, I’m not homophobic at all. But instead of just having a laugh with them, I go into a cubicle and let a guy give me oral sex. I have no desire at all to do this in real life. Does it mean I am secretly gay? I don’t think so because I love having sex with women and don’t feel attracted to men. I just don’t understand why this gets me off.
3. My boyfriend and I have lots of sex (I’m 28, he’s 26). Recently, I came home unexpectedly to find him watching porn on his phone in the living room and pleasuring himself. I was shocked – why would he do this when he knows he can have sex with me anytime he wants? Does it mean he doesn’t enjoy sex with me? Are we not having it enough? Is it normal for men to continue having solo sex even if they’re having regular sex with their partners?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

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