Ep. 28: Virtual Porn, Performance Anxiety, and How to Orgasm from Oral

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. My husband of 30 years recently bought a pair of VR goggles for work. The other night I found him in bed wearing the goggles and he was fully aroused and touching himself. He didn’t know I was in the room at that time. When I asked him what he was watching he told me it was virtual porn and that I should try it. I was repulsed and would not. Am I out of touch? Is it wrong to think that he's cheating on me with a virtual person? Is this even normal?
2. I can't orgasm from oral sex, and I would really like to learn to. This is especially an issue because I date women as well as men, and oral is a big deal for women who date women. I'm in my mid 20's, was raised to be very unashamed and to have a positive view of sex. I don't feel awkward or ashamed of my genitals and have no issue with someone's face all up in there. I just feel awkward lying on my back like a bug who can't flip back over, and I don't know what to do with my arms. I also find the sensation of a tongue down there is just...annoying. It tickles a little and other than that feels like nothing. I can orgasm just fine with my fingers (I've owned vibrators but don't like them) and oral just never compares. Can I learn to enjoy oral? Have my partners just been bad at oral?
3. My boyfriend is having trouble staying hard and I’m worried if it’s because of me. He has no problem getting it up, and with me touching him he responds quite well. It’s when we get to penetration that he loses some, if not most of, his erection. Once he’s inside he has no problem getting going and is able to orgasm. But it’s the in-between period of penetration and sex that is causing the issue. Is this potentially ED related? I can tell he’s quite very frustrated with it and want to be able to help/reassure him.

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

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