S6 Ep. 8: Sex After an Affair, Penetrative Orgasms, and Why do I Hate Cuddling After Sex?

S6 Ep. 8: Sex After an Affair, Penetrative Orgasms, and Why do I Hate Cuddling After Sex?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:


1) I’ve been with my partner for 13 years and recently found out he’s been having sex with a woman he works with. It’s over now and we’re having therapy, but we haven’t had sex since I found out six months ago. I can’t even think about sex. Every time I do, I imagine the two of them together and it makes me feel sick to the stomach. How long will this last? Will I ever be able to enjoy sex again?


2) My question is about penetrative orgasms. We do what you guys talk about—my boyfriend gives me an orgasm first through oral sex—but I’d like to at least attempt to have one through intercourse. Any suggestions on how to do that? I know woman on top is the favored position, but is there anything I should be doing to up my chances of it resulting in an orgasm for me?


3) My partner and I have been dating for two years. We're deeply in love and the relationship and the sex are great. We are very physical and love long cuddle sessions. But we have very different needs after sex: he wants to cuddle, and I just want to sleep or get on with my day. We had a big fight about this recently: he feels "used" and needs a long post-sex physical connection. I deeply love him and want to fulfill his needs, but find it hard to cuddle post-orgasm. I almost feel a repelling force as if as a switch turned in my brain. Post-orgasm, I suddenly notice all the sweat, stickiness, dirty sheets, and don't want to be touched. If it's in the morning, I suddenly realize that I have a lot of work to do and feel time pressure. I’m not that into morning sex, for exactly that reason. He really likes it and wants to do it more often. What can we do to find a compromise? Is it normal to find cuddling repellent after sex for some people? Can I train myself to get used to it (I really don't like it)?


To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU


Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

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