Why Self-Esteem Backfires

I’m going to be honest, I don’t really care for the self-esteem movement. The basic idea is to spend time every day saying nice things to yourself or to make lists of all of your good attributes. Now I do think that how we treat ourselves really matters and that we should be honest about both our strengths and weaknesses, but I’ve seen self-esteem get badly turned into fake accomplishments and medals or prideful comparisons or simply practices that don’t work. For example, it just never worked for me to look in the mirror and say nice things to myself. It just didn’t answer the question I was asking, which was "How can I know if I’m living well?" So in this video, I’m going to talk about four sources of self-esteem that will always let you down and one approach to thinking about yourself that has actually helped me become more at peace.

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Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.

In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

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