017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

David answers a challenging question posed by a listener:

Dear Dr. David:

In your Feeling Good Handbook, you suggest that the reader just allows himself or herself to be an ordinary person instead of trying to be perfect. Contrary to your opinion in the book, you're an outstanding therapist in reality. You've studied in one of the world's top colleges, you're well-educated with a doctor degree, and successful in your career and life. How can I believe your claim? I'm quite confused!

Sincerely, XXX

David first distinguishes perfectionism from the healthy pursuit of excellence, and then describes a painful incident when he was a Stanford medical student. One afternoon, he attended an afternoon Gestalt encounter group at the home of a friend and mentor in Palo Alto. During the group he was ripped to shreds by the other participants. At the end of the group, the other participants seemed elated, but he felt intensely humiliated, ashamed, and discouraged. This led to an unexpected interaction with his mentor that helped to change his life.

David also discusses his clinical work years later with a depressed and anxious professional who had never experienced even one minute of happiness in spite of a life of fabulous success and achievements.

At the end, David and Fabrice promise a future podcast on this topic: "Self-Esteem: What is it? How do I get it? How can I get rid of it once I've got it?"

Jaksot(512)

451: Teen Troubles? Don't Freak Out! Featuring Dr. Taylor Chesney

451: Teen Troubles? Don't Freak Out! Featuring Dr. Taylor Chesney

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450: Resentment ever Rational? What causes Anger? How to Deal with Criticism

450: Resentment ever Rational? What causes Anger? How to Deal with Criticism

450: ASK DAVID, Featuring Dr. Matthew May "All About Anger" Is resentment ever rational or logical? Are perceptions of injustice always present when people feel angry? What's the best way to respond t...

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449: Stories from My Hippy Days, Part 2

449: Stories from My Hippy Days, Part 2

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448: Ask David, featuring Adam Holman

448: Ask David, featuring Adam Holman

448: Ask David, featuring Adam Hollman Relationship woes--what should I do? How can animals have feelings if they can't think? How often should I fill out the Daily Mood Log? Why can't husbands expres...

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447: Perfectionism Update, Featuring Adam Holman

447: Perfectionism Update, Featuring Adam Holman

Perfectionism Update Featuring Adam Holman Today we are joined by Adam Holman, LCSW. Adam has recently left his full time clinical practice in Arizona to join our Feeling Great app team here in San Fr...

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446 Gender-Affirming, Life-Saving Medical Care, featuring Stanford's Dr. Rachel Sewell

446 Gender-Affirming, Life-Saving Medical Care, featuring Stanford's Dr. Rachel Sewell

446 Who am I? Medical Help that Saves Children's Lives Featuring Dr. Rachel Sewall: "I want to shout from the mountain tops!" Today we hear from Rachel Sewell, M.D., a Stanford pediatric endocrinologi...

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#445 Awesome Interviewing Secrets featuring Dr. Kyle Jones

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Secrets of Superb Interviewing-- How to Be Everyone's Number 1 Choice! Today we feature our beloved Kyle Jones, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist who suggested we might do a really cool podcast on the int...

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444: I'm angry! Live Work with Sunny, Part 2

444: I'm angry! Live Work with Sunny, Part 2

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