057: Interpersonal Model (Part 4) — "And It's All Your Fault!" The Relationship Journal

057: Interpersonal Model (Part 4) — "And It's All Your Fault!" The Relationship Journal

David emphasizes that the goal of the RJ is not simply to learn how to transform troubled, adversarial relationships into loving ones, but also how to achieve Interpersonal Enlightenment, which is the empowering but shocking realization that we are creating our own interpersonal reality—for better or worse—at every moment of every day! And although the reward of the RJ is greater love and joy in your daily living, the price is steep—it requires the death of the ego, which the Buddhists have called "the Great Death!"

Together, David and Fabrice walk you through the five steps in the RJ, using real examples of individuals David has worked with in his workshops for the general public or for mental health professionals. One vignette involves a woman who complained bitterly that her husband had been relentlessly critical of her for 25 years. She said she came to the workshop because she wanted to know why men are like that. She found out why her husband was so critical, but the answer was not the one she expected!

The other vignette involved a minister's wife who complained that her husband was overly "nice" and unable to deal with negative feelings. As a result, she said their marriage was superficial and lacking in intimacy. She discovered precisely why their relationship was superficial—but it wasn't exactly the answer she was looking for!

Jaksot(512)

016: Ask David — How can I cope with a complainer? How can I help a loved one who is depressed?

016: Ask David — How can I cope with a complainer? How can I help a loved one who is depressed?

How can you help a depressed friend or family member? You may be surprised to discover that the attempt to "help" is rarely effective, and may even make the problem worse. In contrast, the refusal to ...

26 Joulu 201632min

015: The Five Secrets of Effective Communication (Part 2)

015: The Five Secrets of Effective Communication (Part 2)

If used skillfully, the Five Secrets can resolve nearly any relationship conflict and transform hostility, resentment and mistrust into intimacy and warmth, often with amazing speed. And although this...

19 Joulu 201633min

014: The Five Secrets of Effective Communication (Part 1)

014: The Five Secrets of Effective Communication (Part 1)

Practically all of us have a friend, colleague, client, customer or family member we aren't getting along with very well. Perhaps the difficult person in your life is excessively critical of you, comp...

12 Joulu 201638min

013: Ask David — Is Anxiety Inevitable?

013: Ask David — Is Anxiety Inevitable?

A fan points out that many of the examples in David's book, When Panic Attacks, are high functioning individuals with lots of education and good jobs. She asks Dr. Burns if depression and anxiety are ...

5 Joulu 201625min

012: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 3)

012: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 3)

Discuss of "Should" Statements, Labeling, and Blame. Dr. Burns brings these distortions to life with a case of a severely depressed woman who felt profoundly guilty and devastated after her brother's ...

28 Marras 201625min

011: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 2)

011: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 2)

Three common distortions: Jumping to Conclusions (including Mind-Reading and Fortune-Telling), Magnification and Minimization (also called the Binocular Trick), and Emotional Reasoning.

21 Marras 201632min

010: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 1)

010: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 1)

Common thought distortions that trigger negative feelings: All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Mental Filter, and Discounting the Positive.

18 Marras 201631min

009: Should I Try to Be Happy All the Time? Healthy vs. Unhealthy Emotions

009: Should I Try to Be Happy All the Time? Healthy vs. Unhealthy Emotions

When we're feeling depressed, anxious, or angry, should we accept our feelings or try to change them?

15 Marras 201631min

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