160: What If He Secretly Returns to Pornography? How She Can Know, And 5 Ways He Can Rebuild Security

160: What If He Secretly Returns to Pornography? How She Can Know, And 5 Ways He Can Rebuild Security

One of the biggest fears that women have in this process is that her husband will return to pornography since she won't know about it.

She’ll bring down her wall, start to trust him again, and then the other shoe will drop and she'll be devastated again.

How can she know if he is still stuck in his pattern?

If there’s been dishonesty in the past, how can she know if he is telling the truth or not now?

It's critical for a husband to demonstrate change in a way that helps her to believe him again.

It's very discouraging for him when he really is trying and is making progress, but no matter what he does he feels down when she doesn’t believe him.

In this episode I'll share how you can approach this together to help build security and confidence that things really are different as a result of the new actions he's taking.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.

It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:

Join the Private Group Here

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Jaksot(211)

Fastest Method to Resolving Any Argument Before It Escalates

Fastest Method to Resolving Any Argument Before It Escalates

After pornography addiction has damaged a relationship, arguments and fights can escalate very quickly. 
 The reason is because there is so much intensity and hurt under the surface that it doesn’t take much to trigger everything.  When couples don’t know exactly how to resolve issues from the past so there is closure and the chance to move on, arguments happen more frequently. In this episode I share the fastest way to slow down the storm of a fight, focus on the core reason why it’s happening and communicate with each other in way that creates resolution instead of sweeping things under the rug. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

10 Touko 202218min

The 90-Day Blueprint to Heal Your Marriage After Pornography Addiction

The 90-Day Blueprint to Heal Your Marriage After Pornography Addiction

Restoring the trust, connection, and love in your marriage is possible after pornography addiction has caused hurt and betrayal. Once couples know exactly what to do and what the steps are, they can start to find relief from the pain in a single conversation. Those conversations need to be followed up with more action, consistency, and continued conversations for healing, but you can get the tools and direction you need in just 90 days and continue to implement them long after a course or program is finished. In this episode, I break down the stepping stones in the healing process, to help you know what areas to focus on so you can find that relief and connection together. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

22 Huhti 202229min

The 90-Day Blueprint to Overcome Pornography Addiction

The 90-Day Blueprint to Overcome Pornography Addiction

Is it possible to overcome pornography addiction in just 90 days? With the right tools and approach it is. Listen to this episode to discover the exact blueprint and approach to finding freedom.  In this episode, I break down the most overlooked element in the healing process, which keeps people stuck for years spinning their wheels and feeling discouraged.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

26 Maalis 202229min

A Couples Success Story: 3 Key Tools That Saved Their Marriage From Divorce

A Couples Success Story: 3 Key Tools That Saved Their Marriage From Divorce

The road to healing a marriage can feel hopeless and overwhelming, so I brought on a couple, John and Ann, who went from separation and almost divorcing twice to now feeling more connected and secure together than ever. They share their struggles of trying to overcome the impact of a pornography addiction, what specific things helped them the most, how they could grow closer together in their marriage, and the most effective thing that he did to help her with her triggers. Instead of getting stuck in old cycles of defensiveness, frustration, and avoidance, they now can have conversations together, work through triggers and pain, and know exactly how to reconnect whenever something comes up. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

25 Helmi 202242min

Overcome Shame, Guilt, and Regret with Sathiya Sam

Overcome Shame, Guilt, and Regret with Sathiya Sam

When a man struggles with a pornography addiction, he often feels shame, guilt, and regret because of his decisions.  In order to find freedom, working through these negative emotions is critical.  Today’s episode I have Sathiya, a man who is overcome pornography addiction himself and now helps other men find freedom as well, and he shares his approach for overcoming these negative emotions, finding forgiveness of self, and ultimately achieving freedom from addiction.  You can find more information about Sathiya, along with his new book here: https://www.sathiyasam.com/   For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

10 Helmi 202229min

The Key to Overcome Pornography Addiction Without 12-Step, Accountability Partners, or Filters on Devices

The Key to Overcome Pornography Addiction Without 12-Step, Accountability Partners, or Filters on Devices

Traditional pornography addiction recovery typically takes 3-5 years, according to established therapists in the industry. The problem is that most people don’t want to spend that long fighting such an exhausting battle. The problem with the traditional way of overcoming porn addiction is that it’s centered on managing the symptoms instead of resolving the core issue. Things like group attendance, accountability, filters, using willpower to fight urges, all of these old methods are ineffective and eliminating the root of addiction. In this episode I share with you the most important thing you need to address if you truly want to find freedom from pornography addiction once and for all. Once you address the root problem and resolve it, freedom from addiction can take less than 90 days. And I define freedom as it no longer be a part of your life, you don’t think about, you don’t have to fight against urges or temptations, you just feel normal and can live your life without feeling afraid of it returning or constantly being on the lookout for triggers that you should avoid. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

27 Tammi 202220min

The Traditional Way of Seeing Addiction Can Harm You – Try This Instead

The Traditional Way of Seeing Addiction Can Harm You – Try This Instead

In the traditional way of overcoming addiction and restoring a marriage, the husbands is often seen as the bad guy. The message is that he is the problem, there’s something wrong with him, he’s in a one-down position and is less-than. When he gets that message, he often feels discouraged, not good enough, and always in the hole, never able to heal and move forward. His wife often feels disconnected from him, very unsafe, and unable to bring her wall down. There’s a much more empowering and effective way to see pornography addiction recovery, healing trauma, and restoring the marriage. In this episode I share with you some specific examples that can help you see and experience interactions with your spouse differently, which can help you to move forward and beyond the pain instead of feeling manipulated, not good enough, and unloved. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

10 Tammi 202225min

Struggling With Self-Worth? Here Are Some Powerful Tools to Help

Struggling With Self-Worth? Here Are Some Powerful Tools to Help

So many people struggle with feeling low self-worth and the depression / anxiety that accompanies it.  In this episode I share some powerful strategies to help you increase your self-worth and how to experience feeling more love for yourself.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

23 Joulu 202132min

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