160: What If He Secretly Returns to Pornography? How She Can Know, And 5 Ways He Can Rebuild Security

160: What If He Secretly Returns to Pornography? How She Can Know, And 5 Ways He Can Rebuild Security

One of the biggest fears that women have in this process is that her husband will return to pornography since she won't know about it.

She’ll bring down her wall, start to trust him again, and then the other shoe will drop and she'll be devastated again.

How can she know if he is still stuck in his pattern?

If there’s been dishonesty in the past, how can she know if he is telling the truth or not now?

It's critical for a husband to demonstrate change in a way that helps her to believe him again.

It's very discouraging for him when he really is trying and is making progress, but no matter what he does he feels down when she doesn’t believe him.

In this episode I'll share how you can approach this together to help build security and confidence that things really are different as a result of the new actions he's taking.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.

It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:

Join the Private Group Here

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Jaksot(211)

She Said He Knew Pornography Hurts Her But Did It Anyways

She Said He Knew Pornography Hurts Her But Did It Anyways

So often a wife will have a conversation with her husband about how much pain his watching pornography causes her. he said is that he will stop the behavior, but then months or years later it’s discovered that he never stopped after all.  She feels hurt and betrayed because she explained how much she is affected by it, yet he continued to watch it despite the conversation. In this episode I talk about how to navigate that situation and how to work through the pain and find healing so that he ultimately can stop the behavior in a sustainable way.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

22 Syys 202227min

What Happens if a Wife Becomes ’Addicted’ to the Trauma of Betrayal, and How You Can Move Forward - Part 2 with Jolene Wynn

What Happens if a Wife Becomes ’Addicted’ to the Trauma of Betrayal, and How You Can Move Forward - Part 2 with Jolene Wynn

After there’s been betrayal due to a pornography addiction, it can be very difficult to feel secure and safe in the relationship. And a lot of women find themselves feeling stuck and can’t get out of the pain regardless of what her husband does. In this episode, we discuss what a wife needs to do in order to find freedom and work through the betrayal, how a husband can help participate in the healing, and ultimately what needs to happen for trust to be rebuilt. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

29 Elo 202238min

When a Husband Gets Better and His Wife Gets Worst - Part 1 with Jolene Wynn

When a Husband Gets Better and His Wife Gets Worst - Part 1 with Jolene Wynn

When people are trying to overcome the impact that pornography addiction has in their marriage, there are 3 separate (and overlapping) aspects to healing - his healing, hers, and the relationship. Many times, a husband and wife might progress at different speeds along the path of healing, and there are lots of times when a husband gets better and a wife gets worst. In this episode, I invited Jolene Wynn, a coach and a wife who personally went through this process with her husband, to share her experience and strategies to help couples navigate this delicate balance.

25 Elo 202237min

Strategies for Healing When Even His Presence Triggers Her

Strategies for Healing When Even His Presence Triggers Her

When a woman feels betrayal after discovering her husband's pornography addiction, EVERYTHING can feel like a trigger, even him. He reminds her of his actions and the pain he's caused, yet he can also be a source of comfort at the same time. The push/pull of wanting him close for comfort, but also feeling such intense anger and disgust at the same time can be overwhelming and confusing. In this episode, I discuss tools to approach this situation and how a couple can move forward through those moments and ultimately make it so he doesn't trigger her anymore and for there to be a feeling of closure and resolution instead. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

16 Elo 202225min

When A Wife’s Best Efforts Aren’t Good Enough

When A Wife’s Best Efforts Aren’t Good Enough

So many women struggle feeling like what they are doing isn't enough.. If she was more sexual, thinner, didn't criticize, easy-going, etc., then he wouldn't act out. In this episode, I share what can be doing to address this dynamic, and what needs to happen for there to be lasting changes to the addiction. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

22 Heinä 202222min

When Pornography Addiction Escalates to Sex Addiction and How to Overcome It

When Pornography Addiction Escalates to Sex Addiction and How to Overcome It

When a man struggles with pornography addiction, sometimes the behaviors escalate into physical acting out. When a man struggles with sex addiction, there is a very specific reason why, and in this episode we talk about sex addiction, the root cause of it, and how to overcome it. It's important to recognize that the core of the addiction ISN'T because of a lack of sex or affection from their partner, and in this episode we'll help you identify what it is so you properly address it and overcome it. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

2 Heinä 202228min

How to Consistently Not Give In to Temptation for Pornography

How to Consistently Not Give In to Temptation for Pornography

If someone offered you a cigarette, but you are a nonsmoker, how do you feel and respond? It's easy, right? It's a quick, "no thank you, I don't smoke," and there's no pull, no effort, no resistance to the offer.. So how do we get the same kind of response when there's a trigger or temptation to look at pornography? In this episode, I share how I helped a client through the process of him feeling that way, and you can use this same approach to help you break free from pornography addiction.

9 Kesä 202226min

The Key to Creating Security in Your Marriage After Pornography Addiction

The Key to Creating Security in Your Marriage After Pornography Addiction

After the impact of pornography addiction, he creates a lot of insecurity, lack of trust and hopelessness. So many couples feel stuck because they don’t have a strong foundation or security in their relationship that helps them move forward and leaving the past behind.  Creating security and stability is one of the most important steps In the process of healing because if you don’t have a solid foundation, then every little disconnect is amplified because it stacks up on top of everything else that feels unresolved.  In this episode, I share with you the key to creating security and safety in your marriage so you can have a foundation that provides stability for you to navigate day to day much more successfully.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

23 Touko 202221min

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