#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby13 Tammi 2016

#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

Is social media giving you social anxiety? You're not alone. Many people feel worse about themselves and their lives after logging into Facebook or Instagram. Engagement rings, new babies, new houses, envious vacations, and tales of spouses doing eye-mistingly touching things scroll up endlessly. You should be happy for your friends, right? That their lives are so wonderful and amazing is a glorious thing, right? But it still makes your stomach tighten into a fist as you think of your own diamond-less, baby-less life. You can't help but comparing your house to theirs, your vacation to theirs, and... worst of all... your partner to theirs. Like how he surprised her with five hundred cheerios arranged on the table to say, "I love you!" and a serenade of "You Are My Sunshine" by their three young children when she walked in for breakfast -- just because! Like how she orchestrated a multi-day treasure hunt involving GPS, clues handed by anonymous "strangers" and a midnight trip on a crosstown bus cumulating in the discovery of front row concert tickets for him to see his idol live on stage, only to be met there by the two best friends she'd arranged to fly in from each coast for the event. Like how your partner can't even be bothered to pick up a cheerio off the floor and couldn't pick your best friend out of a line up -- even if you could tear him away from the Xbox. In short: More people than you'd expect feel like taking a Xanax and / or fire-bombing their lives after a ten minute Facebook session. How do I know this? Because I am a therapist and life coach, and people tell me their secrets. My clients are some of the most poised, socially savvy, outwardly successful, wealthy, and gorgeous people you'll ever meet. But they don't feel that way when they are looking at Facebook. They feel like they are failing at life, and it makes them anxious as hell. (And that's not just my opinion: Research links the use of Facebook to increased feelings of depression). Even worse, their social media and the assumptions they make about others because of it can actually create more distance and separation in their lives. Feeling anxious and self-conscious about their own life and achievements pressures people into image management. Increasingly careful about what they share they start to feel more isolated instead of more connected. The net result? They feel anxious, dissatisfied with their lives, and lonely. (And like there is something terribly wrong with them because of this). As Brene Brown so beautifully outlined for the world in her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" shame leads us to hide, and disconnect in efforts to protect ourselves. The anxiety generating machine of Facebook then, ironically, becomes the antitheses of the connection it was intended to create. How to Feel More Connected, and Less Anxious About Social Media Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing some insights with you that will help ease your anxiety over social media and restore the connection in your life. We'll be talking about a marvelous theory posed by Tim Urban in his blog "Wait But Why" about why social media makes people unhappy, as well as how the culture of curation is eroding authenticity and vulnerability. I'll be sharing a cautionary tale from my own life about the potential for tragedy from taking Facebook at face value. Lastly, I'll be sharing some actionable ideas that will help you stop judging your own life, and restore your bond to the people you care about. Ready to change your relationship with social media? You might also enjoy this article from the Huffington Post : 7 Types Of People You Should Unfriend On Facebook ASAP Listen now: Is Social Media Making You Sad? (Episode 64 of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast) Music Credits: Public Image, LTD, "Public Image" (And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review -- your support means the world to me!) Now, let's get real. In the podcast, in the spirit of "radical authenticity" I shared a story about how a close friend and I became disconnected from each other during a time that we really needed each other because of the pitfalls of social media. Has there been a time in your life that social media got in the way of your connection, or made you feel "less than?" If so please share in the comments at this link: http://www.growingself.com/is-social-media-making-you-sad/ It will help others feel less alone. xo, Lisa http://www.growingself.com

Jaksot(468)

#238 - How to Relax When You're Stressed Out

#238 - How to Relax When You're Stressed Out

Here at Growing Self our therapy and life coaching clients are generally successful, high-achieving people on a path of personal growth. Because of this, I have a soft spot for the superstars, and I know that being a go-getting, productive, conscientious, high-achieving, intelligent, successful person has many, many benefits. You get things done, you're on top of it, and you are probably extremely successful in many areas of life. And... it's probably hard for you to relax. How to Relax When You're an Over-Achiever   Today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is just for you, my high-achieving compadre. We'll be discussing: The mind-body connection that makes you feel stressed out even when you're relaxing New ideas to help you prioritize your self-care and relaxation The real source of stress (it's not what you think... except when it is) Why "relaxing" behaviors (massages, hot baths, vacations) won't help you truly de-stress How to combat the stressful thinking styles that will interfere with true relaxation The skills and strategies that will actually help you reduce stress, relax, and restore your mind, body and soul. I hope this discussion helps you achieve the rest and relaxation that you deserve, and that it helps you (paradoxically) become even more productive, creative, forward-thinking and successful as a result! From me to you, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com PS: Follow up questions? Click to GrowingSelf.com to ask in the comments section of this post!

22 Maalis 202158min

#237 - Married With a Crush?

#237 - Married With a Crush?

Friend, this topic is SO important I'm putting it back in front of you again. Here's the deal: Even people in strong, satisfying relationships can develop feelings of attraction for another person. It's part of the human experience. These feelings can be transient and meaningless... OR they could destroy your life, if you follow them.  Are crushes innocent, or on-ramps to an affair? Can you be "friends" with someone you have a crush on, without risking your relationship? What should you do when you're married, but have a crush on someone else? Oh, the questions! It happens: people in happy, healthy, committed relationships can still develop crushes on others. However, smart, self-aware people in committed relationships that they care about need to handle these maturely and with wisdom. That's what you'll learn how to do on today's show. What To Do (And Not Do) When You Are Married And Have a Crush Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm talking all about how to handle yourself and your relationship when you have a crush on someone else. We'll be discussing: The mechanics of a crush; how and why crushes develop The difference between a crush and a platonic friendship Why happy, committed married people can have crushes on others How crushes can turn into something more serious How to use self awareness, integrity, and honesty to protect your marriage How to use your crush experience in order to add energy and intimacy into your relationship Warning signs that your crush is developing into something else Why extramarital affairs are always a bad idea, and rarely end well How to stop having a crush on someone else How to avoid embarrassment and professional ruin if you have a crush on a coworker How to protect your relationship and stay true to your values even when you're having feelings for another. All this and more on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com Ps: As we discussed in this episode, part of your action plan needs to be leaning towards your partner in an authentic and emotionally intimate way, and that calls for excellent communication skills. To support you in this, please help yourself to my free two part communication skills training, "Commucation That Connects." I made this for you!  ... LMB

15 Maalis 202155min

#236 - Build Confidence and Charisma

#236 - Build Confidence and Charisma

If you're feeling a little rusty talking to people, it's time for a refresher course on how to communicate with confidence and charisma.  Today's guest knows all about how to be interesting and fun to talk to, especially under pressure. Kristen Carney is a stand-up comedian, comedy writer, and coach who's specialty is helping people be comfortable with others, create a positive impression, and be more confident in conversations. In this episode, you’ll learn how to create "charismatic conversations" that breathe life into relationships. Join us!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

8 Maalis 202155min

#235 - Trust Yourself: Tell Intuition From Anxiety

#235 - Trust Yourself: Tell Intuition From Anxiety

It can be hard to trust yourself, particularly around intuition. Many of us, especially women, minimize our feelings, explain away our concerns, and doubt ourselves... to our detriment. Trusting yourself is vital to making your way confidently through the world. It's also true that not all thoughts and feelings are trustworthy. It's confusing! Being able to tell the difference between anxiety and intuition will help you trust yourself, so that you can move forward fearlessly. Learn how, join me! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

1 Maalis 20211h 2min

#234 - How to Improve Emotional Intelligence

#234 - How to Improve Emotional Intelligence

Satisfying, stable relationships. A meaningful, prosperous career. Feeling good about yourself and your life. What do they all have in common? Emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the hidden "x-factor" that makes everything work. Without it, you can spin in frustration and failure... and never know why. Emotional intelligence is crucial for your love, happiness and success. In today's episode, find out how your emotional intelligence skills stack up, and learn actionable strategies to improve emotional intelligence — starting today. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

22 Helmi 202156min

#232 - LGBTQ+ Relationship Advice

#232 - LGBTQ+ Relationship Advice

Love is love, and the bonds of attachment transcend identity. At the same time, gay and lesbian relationships face unique challenges and stressors — from without, and from within. On this episode of the podcast, my colleague, LGBTQ+ relationship-affirming marriage and family therapist Kensington Osmond shares compassionate strategies that promote growth and healing for gay and lesbian individuals and couples. Empowerment, healthy-identity development, growing up gay in the context of a strict religion, dealing with a non-supportive family of origin, how unresolved internalized shame can show up in relationships — we're tackling all of it today. Join us! (And join the conversation in the comments of this post!) xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

8 Helmi 20211h

#231 - Finding the Right Person

#231 - Finding the Right Person

Are your subconscious "thinking traps" getting in the way of your finding the right person? On today's episode of the podcast, NPR's dating expert Damona Hoffman is here to help you get out of your own way and find the love you're looking for. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

1 Helmi 20211h 9min

#230 - Say No to Others, & Yes To Yourself

#230 - Say No to Others, & Yes To Yourself

It's effortless for kind, competent, hard-working people to say "yes" to all the demands for their time and attention. But just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. If you're not setting healthy boundaries around your time and energy, the result can be mental and emotional depletion, burnout, and disconnection from what truly matters. On this episode of the podcast I'm talking with Becky Morrison about how to get clear about your priorities and set healthy boundaries. Learning how to (selectively!) say "yes" only to what's most important makes amazing things happen. Learn how — join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

25 Tammi 202148min

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