#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby13 Tammi 2016

#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

Is social media giving you social anxiety? You're not alone. Many people feel worse about themselves and their lives after logging into Facebook or Instagram. Engagement rings, new babies, new houses, envious vacations, and tales of spouses doing eye-mistingly touching things scroll up endlessly. You should be happy for your friends, right? That their lives are so wonderful and amazing is a glorious thing, right? But it still makes your stomach tighten into a fist as you think of your own diamond-less, baby-less life. You can't help but comparing your house to theirs, your vacation to theirs, and... worst of all... your partner to theirs. Like how he surprised her with five hundred cheerios arranged on the table to say, "I love you!" and a serenade of "You Are My Sunshine" by their three young children when she walked in for breakfast -- just because! Like how she orchestrated a multi-day treasure hunt involving GPS, clues handed by anonymous "strangers" and a midnight trip on a crosstown bus cumulating in the discovery of front row concert tickets for him to see his idol live on stage, only to be met there by the two best friends she'd arranged to fly in from each coast for the event. Like how your partner can't even be bothered to pick up a cheerio off the floor and couldn't pick your best friend out of a line up -- even if you could tear him away from the Xbox. In short: More people than you'd expect feel like taking a Xanax and / or fire-bombing their lives after a ten minute Facebook session. How do I know this? Because I am a therapist and life coach, and people tell me their secrets. My clients are some of the most poised, socially savvy, outwardly successful, wealthy, and gorgeous people you'll ever meet. But they don't feel that way when they are looking at Facebook. They feel like they are failing at life, and it makes them anxious as hell. (And that's not just my opinion: Research links the use of Facebook to increased feelings of depression). Even worse, their social media and the assumptions they make about others because of it can actually create more distance and separation in their lives. Feeling anxious and self-conscious about their own life and achievements pressures people into image management. Increasingly careful about what they share they start to feel more isolated instead of more connected. The net result? They feel anxious, dissatisfied with their lives, and lonely. (And like there is something terribly wrong with them because of this). As Brene Brown so beautifully outlined for the world in her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" shame leads us to hide, and disconnect in efforts to protect ourselves. The anxiety generating machine of Facebook then, ironically, becomes the antitheses of the connection it was intended to create. How to Feel More Connected, and Less Anxious About Social Media Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing some insights with you that will help ease your anxiety over social media and restore the connection in your life. We'll be talking about a marvelous theory posed by Tim Urban in his blog "Wait But Why" about why social media makes people unhappy, as well as how the culture of curation is eroding authenticity and vulnerability. I'll be sharing a cautionary tale from my own life about the potential for tragedy from taking Facebook at face value. Lastly, I'll be sharing some actionable ideas that will help you stop judging your own life, and restore your bond to the people you care about. Ready to change your relationship with social media? You might also enjoy this article from the Huffington Post : 7 Types Of People You Should Unfriend On Facebook ASAP Listen now: Is Social Media Making You Sad? (Episode 64 of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast) Music Credits: Public Image, LTD, "Public Image" (And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review -- your support means the world to me!) Now, let's get real. In the podcast, in the spirit of "radical authenticity" I shared a story about how a close friend and I became disconnected from each other during a time that we really needed each other because of the pitfalls of social media. Has there been a time in your life that social media got in the way of your connection, or made you feel "less than?" If so please share in the comments at this link: http://www.growingself.com/is-social-media-making-you-sad/ It will help others feel less alone. xo, Lisa http://www.growingself.com

Jaksot(468)

#229 - How to Have An Amicable Divorce

#229 - How to Have An Amicable Divorce

Divorce is nobody's first choice. But sometimes relationships cannot be saved, and divorcing feels like the right thing to do. While divorce is always hard, having an amicable divorce is the best possible outcome — particularly if you're going to be coparenting or sharing a business for years to come. My guest on today's episode is divorce attorney Stephanie Randall. She shares her honest advice about what getting divorced is *really* like, the biggest mistakes divorcing couples make, insight into the divorce recovery process, and drops real-world strategies for how to create an amicable divorce. If you're considering divorce (or in the thick of one) today's episode is a must listen. Be prepared to take notes! (Or get a the show-notes with Stephanie's top takeaways here: https://www.growingself.com/amicable-divorce) xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

18 Tammi 202158min

#228 - Grow Together, or Grow Apart

#228 - Grow Together, or Grow Apart

The past year has been a uniquely stressful time for couples, but it has also been offering a slew of "micro-moments" that can make or break a relationship. Smart couples are using these opportunities to grow stronger, closer and more connected. Other couples are missing them, and their relationships are failing as a result. Today I'm putting on my marriage counselor hat and sharing the most important things you can do to strengthen your relationship (and what to avoid at all costs) so that you can grow together instead of grow apart. Learn how to use challenges to actually strengthen your relationship. Join me!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

11 Tammi 20211h 18min

#227 - Radical Self Acceptance

#227 - Radical Self Acceptance

How about this idea for a #NewYearsGoal? Learn how to practice radical self acceptance, and love yourself, for who and what you already are. Learning how to be okay with not being okay, have compassion for yourself and others, and grow in your authenticity may sound like the antithesis of personal development, but the opposite is true:  The practice of radical acceptance can (paradoxically) lead to transformational change on every level.  Learn how to lean in, in this episode.  And happy new year! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

4 Tammi 202149min

#226 - Learn and Grow

#226 - Learn and Grow

On the cusp of a new year it can be easy to over-focus on constant-and-never-ending self-improvement, new goals, the next step, and all the things you have yet to achieve. But the truth is that you have already grown so much, learned so much, and done so much. Sometimes it can be more empowering to slow down and respect the enormous amount of work you already have done rather than pushing yourself. Amazing things happen when you learn to appreciate the strength, accomplishments, courage, growth, and wisdom you already possess. I'm walking you through how to tap into all that you are, on this episode. You're already incredible! xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: I've created an activity for you to journal through the questions I'm asking on today's show if you'd like. Access it here: https://www.growingself.com/learn-and-grow

29 Joulu 202036min

#225 - The Greatest Gift Is You

#225 - The Greatest Gift Is You

In this season of gift giving, it can be easy to forget what our loved ones really want and need from us: Our unconditional love, trust, kindness, appreciation, attention, time, understanding, empathy, respect, emotional safety, and cherishing. That's what we all want! However, we cannot provide those things for anyone without first prioritizing our own wellness and personal growth. Today's episode is all about helping you cultivate the highest and best in yourself so that you can better appreciate how much you matter, and fully embrace the amazing gift of your growth. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

21 Joulu 202047min

#224 - Honest Advice From an Online Dating Coach

#224 - Honest Advice From an Online Dating Coach

If you're currently single you've probably experienced first hand the new online dating reality: Dating in the pandemic age is more complex than ever. However, there are fantastic opportunities to create healthy new relationships — if you know the pitfalls to avoid. On this episode of the podcast, get expert online dating coach advice from dating coach Markie K. She shares her top "dating advice do's and don'ts" to help you navigate the new modern dating landscape with clarity and confidence. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: Get even MORE of Markie's great dating advice on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

14 Joulu 202032min

#223 - What Men Secretly Want? Emotional Intimacy.

#223 - What Men Secretly Want? Emotional Intimacy.

Men crave emotional connection too. But our culture can lead boys and men towards toxic masculinity that impedes emotional intelligence, and damages emotional health (not to mention relationships!) My guest today is Andrew Reiner, frequent contributor to the New York Times and the author of Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency. He's generously sharing the strategies his research has uncovered for how to cultivate emotional health and connected relationships with men. If you are a man (or love one!) "What Men Secretly Want" is a must listen. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

7 Joulu 20201h 3min

#222 - Discernment Counseling

#222 - Discernment Counseling

I've had many "my relationship is on the brink, what do I do?" questions from listeners lately. When one person is half out the door, standard-issue relationship advice and conventional marriage counseling approaches can make things worse. But Discernment Counseling — a special, obscure type of couples counseling — can still save your relationship. In today's episode we're doing a deep dive into the unique dynamics of failing relationships in order to help you use the principles of discernment counseling to potentially turn things around. Join me!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby More relationship questions? Leave them for me (and help yourself to more free resources) on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

30 Marras 20201h

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