62: Oh, the Jews' Manatees! (The Book of Numbers)
Apocrypals19 Huhti 2020

62: Oh, the Jews' Manatees! (The Book of Numbers)

One thing you have to say for the Book of Numbers, Theophiloi: it is exactly what it says in the title. Well, most of it is, anyway. Mixed in with all the census totals and step-by-step MapQuest directions to the Promised Land, though, is some truly wild stuff, including the return of one of our favorite Biblical tropes, the talking animal that no one seems to think is odd in the slightest. Join us, but make sure to brace yourself for a whole lot of skantent.

Topics of discussion: The Devil's Bible (Wizard Magazine), the Devil's Bible (Codex Gigas), horse_ebooks, "Petition Pit," Scholars and Clowns, the two wolves inside us, clown eggs, James O'Barr's The Crow, a large Jamie Madrox of frog, the P editor, a mysterious animal that is either a sea cow or a Lady Rainicorn, Nazarite vs. Nazarene, the Aaronic Benediction, the Lord's invention of ska, an extremely clutch joke made to my wife, Nachos Galacticos, something that is definitely not an idol, Mt. TERF, God just making a bunch of disembodied mouths and then going to bed, Ac***a Gr**e, some wild nasty idol worship in Peor, Rimmon-Perez, a home for Slayer.

Hymnal: "Let Me Ride That Donkey" by 69 Boyz, "Waterloo" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church (https://www.youtube.com/user/Principal45)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals

Jaksot(126)

5: On the Road to Rome (Paul's Letter to the Romans)

5: On the Road to Rome (Paul's Letter to the Romans)

"Therefore, any one of you who judges is without excuse, for when you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. We know that God's judgment on those who do such th...

20 Touko 20181h 14min

4: Wittgenstein's Monster (The Book of Isaiah)

4: Wittgenstein's Monster (The Book of Isaiah)

"Woe to those that are wise in their own opinion and clever in their own sight." -- Isaiah 5:21 Isaiah, the biggest beefiest boy of all the prophets, steps into the spotlight to put our very premise t...

6 Touko 20181h 23min

3: Various Heresies (The Acts of Peter and Paul)

3: Various Heresies (The Acts of Peter and Paul)

"Go, say unto Simon: Peter, because of whom thou fleddest out of Judaea, waiteth for thee at the door." -- The Acts of Peter, Chapter IV Join us this week as we dive into the apocryphal Acts of Peter ...

22 Huhti 20181h 29min

2: One Weird Trick (The Book of Daniel with Apocrypha)

2: One Weird Trick (The Book of Daniel with Apocrypha)

"Therefore I issue a decree that anyone of any people, nation, or language who says anything offensive against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego will be torn limb from limb and his house made...

14 Huhti 20181h 15min

1: Porky Party (The Book of Acts)

1: Porky Party (The Book of Acts)

"Look, you scoffers, marvel and vanish away, because I am doing a work in your days, a work that you will never believe, even if someone were to explain it to you." — Acts 13:41 Chris and Benito begin...

8 Huhti 20181h 18min

Episode 0: I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties

Episode 0: I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties

"Then, even if your beginnings were modest, your final days will be full of prosperity." -- Job 8:7 Welcome to Apocrypals, the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible, but aren't, you k...

29 Maalis 201842min

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