110:  The Beastie Boys' Worst Nightmare (The Lock-In (2014))
Apocrypals30 Loka 2023

110: The Beastie Boys' Worst Nightmare (The Lock-In (2014))

Happy Halloween, The-AHHH!-philoi! As is our tradition here on the show, we're spending the spookiest day of the year looking at texts involving haints and saints! Sort of! We're pushing the definition of "texts" and "haints" to their absolute limits by watching the 2014 evangelical horror (?) film (?), The Lock-In, in which a supervised slumber party at church becomes an existential nightmare due to the presence of a haunted adult magazine.

No, really. That's what the movie is about.

Topics of Discussion: Sex is Wacko (But Not Right Now For Teens), an empty field with fire and Danhausen, Benito: a lonely fan of corn, a bonus review of Journey to Hell (2022), Vegeta's cool shirt, approved uses of oils, puppet ministries, Nick's Mom/Atom Bomb, the purple box as metaphor, the Jared Leto of Christian Horror, the most adult magazines, The Apocrypals Solve Theodicy... Again!, a second "What the Frick?"

Hymnal: "Monster Smash" By Altégo

Apocrypals is edited by Editorial Deacon Lucas Brown.

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17

Jaksot(126)

5: On the Road to Rome (Paul's Letter to the Romans)

5: On the Road to Rome (Paul's Letter to the Romans)

"Therefore, any one of you who judges is without excuse, for when you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. We know that God's judgment on those who do such th...

20 Touko 20181h 14min

4: Wittgenstein's Monster (The Book of Isaiah)

4: Wittgenstein's Monster (The Book of Isaiah)

"Woe to those that are wise in their own opinion and clever in their own sight." -- Isaiah 5:21 Isaiah, the biggest beefiest boy of all the prophets, steps into the spotlight to put our very premise t...

6 Touko 20181h 23min

3: Various Heresies (The Acts of Peter and Paul)

3: Various Heresies (The Acts of Peter and Paul)

"Go, say unto Simon: Peter, because of whom thou fleddest out of Judaea, waiteth for thee at the door." -- The Acts of Peter, Chapter IV Join us this week as we dive into the apocryphal Acts of Peter ...

22 Huhti 20181h 29min

2: One Weird Trick (The Book of Daniel with Apocrypha)

2: One Weird Trick (The Book of Daniel with Apocrypha)

"Therefore I issue a decree that anyone of any people, nation, or language who says anything offensive against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego will be torn limb from limb and his house made...

14 Huhti 20181h 15min

1: Porky Party (The Book of Acts)

1: Porky Party (The Book of Acts)

"Look, you scoffers, marvel and vanish away, because I am doing a work in your days, a work that you will never believe, even if someone were to explain it to you." — Acts 13:41 Chris and Benito begin...

8 Huhti 20181h 18min

Episode 0: I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties

Episode 0: I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties

"Then, even if your beginnings were modest, your final days will be full of prosperity." -- Job 8:7 Welcome to Apocrypals, the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible, but aren't, you k...

29 Maalis 201842min

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