Breaking Up with Perfect :: Summer of Mentorship Week 4

It’s been pointed out that if you want to make anything scary or negative, put “teenage” in front of it. For example, teenage driving, teenage parties, teenage sex, teenage thinking.  One of our main jobs as parents is to help our kids grow into functioning adults who make their own decisions. In order to do that, we have to give our kids freedoms to practice making their own decisions in meaningful ways.  Dr. Ken Wilgus is a father, author, and licensed psychologist with many years of helping parents and young adults navigate the teen years. He tells us that our teens want to know they can actually grow up in our house - to begin experiencing the freedom (and responsibility) of being an adult while still under our care. Though he isn’t promising us an easy ride, Dr. Wilgus encourages us that if we do that it will actually foster more attachment and connection with our teenagers.  Connect with Dr. Ken Wilgus:  Website:  http://www.drwilgus.com  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/feedingthemouthPodcast  Instagram:  @feedingthemouth    Links Mentioned:   Feeding the Mouth That Bites You: A Complete Guide to Parenting Adolescents and Launching them Into the World by Ken Wilgus, PhD.  Feeding the Mouth That Bites You Podcast    Related Episodes: Doubt, Questions, & Your Teen’s Growing Faith :: Mary Jo Sharp [Ep 375]  Understanding Your Developing Teen :: Dr. Nell Bush [Ep 351]   Compassion Causes:  Join our DMA community and help 125 women in Guatemala become financially independent by funding the equipment for a bakery!! Click here to join us and raise $12,400.  Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

10 Loka 202250min

What does it mean to have the Holy Spirit? To encounter or experience the Holy Spirit? How does he speak to us? Does he speak to us?  Western cultures tend to operate under the assumption that if we can’t explain it, it isn’t real. My guest this week gives us hope beyond what we can understand. Author and pastor Max Lucado encourages us that God wants to guide us and speak to us and reminds us that the Holy Spirit was given to us as believers to guarantee our arrival one day in heaven. He shares some of his own experience and what it’s like to hear from God by the power of the Holy Spirit. If you are looking for empowerment in motherhood and strength for difficult days and decisions, Max Lucado is encouraging you to “open yourself to the possibility that the greatest power in the universe is alive and well accessible to you wherever you are.” Connect with Max Lucado:  Website:  https://maxlucado.com  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maxlucado  Instagram:  @maxlucado Twitter: @maxlucado YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/MaxLucadoOfficial  Links Mentioned:   Help is Here: Finding Fresh Strength and Purpose in the Power of the Holy Spirit by Max Lucado  Cru Spiritual Gifts Quiz   Related Episodes: You Are Never Alone :: Max Lucado [Ep 298] Parenting in the Power of the Holy Spirit :: Jeannie Cunnion [Ep 347]  Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

3 Loka 202253min

How do you feel when you are in between stages of life? Excited? Nervous? Afraid?  Tweens - those kids in between childhood and adolescence - are capable, growing into their own thoughts and ideas and preferences, but not quite as opinionated as teenagers.  In this “in between” there is plenty of room for curiosity and character development if we will stay connected to and interested in our kids.  My guest this week is Charissa Lopez (she’s gotten married since she was last on the show as Charissa Fry), a therapist and parent coach, and she encourages us that healthy attachment can lead to healthy individuation (that process of our kids distinguishing themselves from us).  She helps us see that for the entire time we are in relationship with our kids they need comfort and encouragement and connection with us. Though we still have authority over our kids we, as parents, are transitioning out of such a hands-on role in their lives and Charissa helps us think through puberty and friend groups, and our tweens’ spiritual growth.  Connect with Charissa Lopez:  Website:  https://charissalopez.com  Special Resources for DMA Listeners from past episodes: https://charissalopez.com/resources/regulation-pack/ Links Mentioned*:   **For resources mentioned below, parents should read the book first. Don’t feel like you have to read every word to your child. Just use the parts that work for your family and skip the rest. Or discuss why some people believe differently than you.* Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté  It’s So Amazing!:A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies and Families The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys Birds and Bees Ministry with Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson Related Episodes: Connecting Through Play :: Charissa Fry [Ep 319]  The Window of Tolerance :: Charissa Fry [Ep 260]  Self-Differentiation and Why it Matters :: Nancy Houston [Ep 335] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

26 Syys 202250min

What do we do with ourselves when our kids need less of our minute to minute attention? How do we fill the space given to us when kids go to preschool or elementary school?  If we aren’t intentional as we step into this next phase of motherhood it can become a place of confusion or lost identity. As we focus on different Ages & Stages of our children’s development during this series we are taking an aside this week to parent ourselves if you will.  My guest this week, Kara Trochta, has a special place in her heart for the moms in the middle - whose children aren’t all launched into adulthood but who aren’t asking for their juice boxes to be opened 1675 times a day anymore. Through her own journey of soul searching and learning to dream again she has created a program to walk moms through this process of realigning who you are and where you are headed.   Connect with Kara Trochta:  Website:  https://www.karatrochta.com/session/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karatrochtacoaching/  Instagram:  @karatrochta  Links Mentioned:    Book Your Free Middle Motherhood™️ Life Audit Session to get clarity and create purpose and passion in this next season of motherhood. www.karatrochta.com/session Grab your Free Guide: 5 Steps to Writing Your Next Chapter in Motherhood www.karatrochta.com/free  Related Episodes: Sunday Planning :: Retha Nichole [Ep 349] Manage Your Life with Guilt-Free Confidence :: Christy Wright [Ep 192]  Creating Family Culture :: Amber O’Neal Johnston [SOM Wk 4] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

19 Syys 202250min

What is your favorite elementary school memory? A teacher you loved? Playing on a favorite team? Parenting elementary school kids can sometimes feel like a breath of fresh air - kids are more capable, they can get their own snacks, help out around the house, and more. But in every stage of childhood our kids are developing and it’s important we give them the tools to do so.   My guest this week is pediatrician, author, speaker, and mom, Dr. Meg Meeker. For over thirty years she has been helping kids and their parents navigate childhood. In this episode she encourages us to let our elementary kids slow down and grow self-esteem and empathy by being and doing with us. We cover a range of topics from identity formation to sensory issues to extra curricular activities.  Connect with [Dr. Meg Meeker]:  Website:  https://www.meekerparenting.com  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/megmeekermd/  Instagram:  @megmeekermd Twitter: @megmeekermd  Podcast: https://www.meekerparenting.com/podcast  Links Mentioned:   Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters on PureFlix Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know by Dr. Meg Meeker  Related Episodes: Creating Digital Safe Spaces :: Chris McKenna [Ep 360] Shaping Your Family Culture :: Kimberly Amici [Ep 294] Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Market. Get convenient, high-quality, affordable groceries delivered with Thrive Market! Join Thrive Market today and get $80 in free groceries! Visit ThriveMarket.com/DMA.  Rothy’s. Find your new favorite shoes and get $20off your first purchase at rothys.com/DMA. Thrive Causemetics. Right now, you can get 15% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/DMA.

12 Syys 202251min

It’s cliché until you have to live it - the grocery store crying infant or toddler tantrum. The hushed pleas or commands from embarrassed parents. The silent judgment of others. Crying or whining are often attempts at communication, but they cause a stress response in moms and it can feel easier to just hush the child than keep a boundary. From there it’s a quick hop, skip, and a jump to all the mom-guilt we can throw on our shoulders. No, we can’t keep your toddler from throwing inane tantrums or make your infant suddenly articulate, but we know someone who can help you approach these situations from a different perspective.  As a licensed Language of Listening parent coach, certified sleep consultant, and mom to 5 kids, Rachel Norman has experienced a lot of infant and toddler behavior. In this episode she teaches us how to validate our children’s feelings while holding our boundaries. Rachel helps us understand why managing and understanding our own stress response to whining and crying can be a valuable tool as we help our children learn to regulate their own emotions.  Connect with Rachel Norman:  Website:  https://amotherfarfromhome.com  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AMotherFarFromHome?ref=hl  Twitter: @momfarfromhome  Instagram:  @amotherfarfromhome Links Mentioned:   If Mama Ain't Happy: Why Minding Healthy Boundaries Is Good for Your Whole Family (A Mother's Guide to Joy, Anxiety Relief, and Freedom from Depression, Stress, and Weariness. A Book of Hope for Moms.) by Rachel Norman   **Please note, this is a pre-order link. The book releases October 11, 2022.** Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids by Scott Turansky  It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn  Do Over Principle Video  Quiet Time (Rest Time) for Toddlers: All You Need to Know A Mother Far From Home blog post Related Episodes: Fed is Best || New Baby Series Pt 1 :: Demetria Martin and Dr. Odom [Ep 342] Fed is Best || New Baby Series Pt 2 :: Dr. Bridget Young [Bonus] Shepherding Healthy Sleep Habits :: Jenn and Robin of Sleepy Cues [Ep 230] Featured Sponsors:  Ladder Life. Visit LadderLife.com/DMA today to see if you’re instantly approved. Gladskin. Enjoy 15% off plus free shipping on your first order at Gladskin.com/DMA.   Hello Fresh. Visit HelloFresh.com/DMA16 and use code DMA16 for 16 free meals across 7 boxes AND 3 free gifts!

5 Syys 202251min

What fear pops up in your parenting again and again? Maybe it’s, “how do I teach my kids that they can do hard things in a loving way?” or, “what if my kids make bad decisions?” or “what if I’m a bad mom?” These fears can feel overwhelming and that the answers to them are complicated.  My guest this week gives us an unexpected ally in overcoming the fears that grip us as moms - reading aloud. It sounds almost too simple, but author and mom of 7, Jennifer Pepito, shows us that the stories we share with our kids can help them navigate some of the tougher experiences with life. By exposing our kids to character building stories we can infuse them with perspective and thoughtfulness as they face life’s difficult situations. She also encourages us that forgiveness can be an avenue to freedom from fear in our lives and specifically our parenting.  TRIGGER WARNING: This episode briefly mentions suicide. If you or anyone you know are struggling with suicidal thoughts please reach out to someone you trust. You can call or text 988 anytime of day or night.  Connect with Jennifer Pepito:  Website:  https://www.thepeacefulpreschool.com  Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/peacefulpress/   Instagram:  @JenniferPepito Links Mentioned:   Mothering by the Book: The Power of Reading Aloud to Overcome Fear and Recapture Joy by Jennifer Pepito PREORDER BONUSES→Mothering by the Book: The Power of Reading Aloud to Overcome Fear and Recapture Joy by Jennifer Pepito Wild and Free Podcast  Books Mentioned: Endurance: Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing  Little Britches: Father and I Were Ranchers  by Ralph Moody (book 1 of 8 in series) The Hiding Place  by Corrie Ten Boom Swiss Family Robinson  by Johann David Wyss James Herriot book series  The Little House 9 Volume Set (includes Little House on the Prairie) by Laura Ingalls Wilder Treasures of the Snow by Patricia St. John  All-of-a-Kind Family by Sydney Taylor  The Saturdays by Elizabeth Enright  Related Episodes: Recovering from Mom Burnout :: Nicole Zasowski [Ep 357] The Day Fear Died :: Courtney Smallbone [Ep 201] Practicing Faith Through Fear :: Dominique Young [Ep 295] Featured Sponsors:  Caraway. Non-Toxic cookware made modern. Get 10% off your next purchase at Carawayhome.com/DMA. Stitch Fix. For a limited time, get $20 off your first purchase at StitchFix.com/DMA  Outschool. Save $15 on your child’s first class at Outschool.com/DMA.

29 Elo 202248min

Doubt is a normal part of a growing faith. When the big questions come, you can navigate them with confidence.  Is it worth it to go to church? If God is loving, why would he allow bad stuff in the world? Did God really create me the way I am on purpose? Questions and exploration are rites of passage for the teenage years as each of us grapples (in varying degrees) to figure out who we are and where we want to go in life. With a near endless supply of voices, ideas, and influences from the internet and culture at large it can feel like our kids are in danger of being lost in a sea of information we have no control over.  But all is not lost! My guest this week, apologist and writer Mary Jo Sharp, encourages us to walk with our kids into the tunnel of doubt. She reminds us that contrary to what we might think, we really are still the biggest influencers on our child’s religious views and that the culture we create in our homes around self transformation and questioning can help our kids make their faith their own. By giving them a safe space to ask and discuss the big questions of life we will likely give ourselves a seat at their decision-making table.  Mary and her team create resources for parents and teens as they walk through doubt and faith finding at DarkroomFaith.com Connect with Mary Jo Sharp:  Website:  https://maryjosharp.com  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/confidentchristianity/  Instagram:  @MaryJoSharp Twitter: @MaryJoSharp Links Mentioned:   Darkroom Faith  Jane Eyre: A Guide to Reading and Reflecting by Karen Swallow Prior, Charlotte Brontë Confronting Christianity: 12 Hard Questions for the World’s Largest Religion by Rebecca McLaughlin 10 Questions Every Teen Should Ask (and Answer) about Christianity by Rebecca McLaughlin  "Unfiltered" a documentary on the Chosen App   Related Episodes: Practicing Faith Through Fear :: Dominique Young [Ep 295] Building Lasting Faith in Your Kids :: Dr. Kara Powell [Ep 290] Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Market. Get eighty dollars in free groceries! Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA.  Gladskin. Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first order at Gladskin.com/DMA.  Indeed. Start hiring now with $75 sponsored job credit to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/DMA.

22 Elo 202246min