Ep. 243 - Shawn Stevenson: The ONLY Health Podcast You'll Ever Need to Hear

I wish I was as smart as Steven Johnson. I asked him, "What is your one favorite thing that everybody thinks is bad for you that is actually good for you?" He didn't want to tell me. "My kids might listen to this later," he said. But he told me... He's the author of "Where Good Ideas Come From: The Natural History of Innovation," "Everything Bad is Good for you," and the recent "Wonderland: How Play Made the Modern World"- how the idea of "play" more than anything else, is what created the modern world. "I regret saying this a little, but, the assumption that video games are just a terrible waste of time and that this generation is growing up playing these stupid games is really... it's so wrong," he said. He was talking about using play for education reform. "If you think about it, we walk around with a bunch of assumptions of what a learning experience is supposed to look like: listening to a lecture, watching an educational video, taking an exam to test your learning." I was gonna puke.  "I've been watching my kids play Battlefield 1, which is set in WWI. And it's amazing." "I sit and watch my kids play and ask what they're thinking about. Because as a grown up who doesn't play the game you can't process it. There's just so much going on in the world. They're playing this multiplayer game, in this incredibly vivid landscape with a million data points streaming across the screen." His doesn't understand it. And his kids don't understand how he doesn't understand it...  "Didn't you see the signal I got? And how this one piece of the interface was telling me to do xy and z?" "All I can see is there's a gun and a Zeplin. I'm 48," he said. We're the same age. "Does that make me middle aged?" "We're old." Kids are basically gonna destroy us. We're the one's who are going to end up in diapers. They started off there, we end up there. Unless... We play, too. So here's what Steven found out. One would ask, that sounds ridiculous: how did "play" create the Industrial Revolution. Or all the wars of the past 500 years. Or all the innovations we've seen with the Internet, which was initially funded by the military. What does "play" have to do with it? Everything. And that's what makes Steven Johnson so infuriating. He'll take two concepts that seem like they have nothing to do with each other and he'll say, THIS caused THAT! And I'd shake my head and cry and ask, "How is that even possible?" And then he'll show me. Because he traces his curiosity. It's like when you start clicking all the hyperlinks in a Wikipedia page. And seeing how everything is connected. Steven connects the dots and puts them in a book for you. If I were to recreate a robotic Steven Johnson (hmmm, actually, maybe he is a robot. Or at least has a Cylon brain or maybe Bradley Cooper's brain from Limitless) I'd have to feed in 10,000 books or so, and this ability to find every possible cross connection between every two ideas mentioned in the books. And then he spits it out in his masterpieces. As I told him in the beginning of the podcast: I enjoy a lot of books. A lot of books are great even. But your books and only a few others are among the only books where I read it and I feel like my IQ is going up. I made up a game in fact, based on his books. Maybe someone should make the card game for this. Here's two random concepts. Tell me how they are connected. Example: The lengthening of shop windows in London in the 1600s and the rise of American slavery in the 1800s. I'm not making this up. One really caused the other. Steven calls it "the hummingbird effect." It's different from the butterfly effect where the flapping of a butterfly's wings can cause a hurricane. That's chance. The hummingbird effect is traceable. "It has to be 2-3 steps removed," he said. "And you have to be really rigorous about when it just doesn't work." You play to find the links. I told him this... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

17 Tammi 20171h 3min

You know that game where you flip a card, see the face and turn it back over, then try to find the match?   That's the game we're going to play...   Write down your values. I told Jairek mine. I had three.   Jairek is a life coach. And Tony Robbins is his dad. But that doesn't matter. Because Tony didn't invest in his son's strengths. He invested in weakness.   "I didn't really have an understanding of what real hard work was," Jairek said.   So in college, Jairek went to Canada and stacked lumber.   "You've known me a long time," I said. "What's a weakness I have that you think I can work through?"   "I'll tell you how we find those," he said.   Step 1: Review your values   Jairek said, "Let's do this right now. If I were to ask you what's most important to you in life, what would you say?"   "Humans..." That was number one. Connecting with people I care about.   "Being an honest person who acts with integrity."   "And creativity."   So here's the card game... Imagine you have all the cards face down on the carpet. Every card has a match.   One shows your values. The other shows your time. You have to match them up to win.   Because values = time.   People say, "Time is money."   No.   Time is values.   But pretty much everyone struggles with this. I struggle with this. Jairek gave an example but it made me wonder maybe your brain's idea of values is wrong.   Maybe your "values" are really your expectations... In my life, misery sinks in when expectations are higher than reality.   I don't know.   The example Jairek gave was a guy who spent all his time doing business. His values were family and God. So I asked Jairek, "Could your brain be wrong?"   Maybe this guy's calendar was right. Maybe he really valued business...   I'm not in his head. I don't' have a life coach. I have a therapist.   So if you're reading this and thinking, "No he doesn't," then you know what's true for you.   Step 2: Find a match   Log your time. Look at your day and your week. Jairek's clients log their lives for seven days. But he also needs to know your thoughts. Which is harder to measure. "I don't have a sensor for that yet," he said. "It's subjective."   Jairek has helped thousands of people.   One client said, "Honestly, I wake up and the first thing through my head is, 'Am I going to close that deal today?' It's always combing through my mind. Even at dinner. I'm thinking about the paperwork. My mind's constantly turning. I'm not able to let go of what's going on.'"   His home life was suffering.   So Jairek asked, "What's your ritual to turn it off at the end of the day and walk away without having all those thoughts processing in your head?"   Most people don't have a ritual. That's the problem. "You need to disassociate from work," he said. "Get it out of your nervous system."   So here's the formula: disconnect, then connect.   Part A) Disconnect:   "Some people go for a walk, other people breathe for 20 minutes. It's different for everybody. You have to figure out the routine."   Sometimes I'm emailing about work at midnight. That's how habits start. They creep in when my guard is down, when I'm not connected to anything I love.     Part B) Connect   Jairek switched his coaching methods a few years ago. He used to coach on performance. Now it's relationships. Because it's the relationships in our lives that increase our performance.   "Right now, if you're at work, and you think about your kids, your heart's probably not gushing over them," he said."   "No, usually they suck and I'm annoyed at them." I had plans to see them in a few hours.   Then Jairek hypnotized me.   "What's the most precious and beautiful moment you have with one of your kids?" he said. "Go back way in the distance. Remember one of your earliest moments with them that just lit your heart up. And as a dad made you prouder than you could have ever imagined."   He had... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

12 Tammi 201757min

Mike Massimino failed his PhD the first time. Failed the astronaut test the first three times. Failed to get the highest evaluation when he walked into space the first time. And almost destroyed the Hubble Telescope on the last attempt the US was going to make to fix it. But he did it. He did it all. Two things I noticed about him. One thing is he kept saying things to me like, "I wasn't the smartest in X but..." He said that about his classmates. He said that about his neighbors. He said this about his fellow co-workers. He said this out in the middle of outer space. 350,000 miles away from home. In my podcast, years later, he was still saying that. He's a liar. He got his PhD from MIT in "robot arms on Mars". He went into space twice. He fixed the Hubble telescope so now we can see images like this: By the way, he failed the astronaut exam because his vision wasn't good enough. He then figured out how to TRAIN HIS EYES TO HAVE BETTER EYESIGHT. I never even heard of that before. He passed his next exam with 20/20 vision. Clearly he was good enough. In fact, he is the best at everything he has ever done. Humility without negativity (negative might be: "I'm not good enough so I will give up.") seems to be key. In other words: Humility With Forward Action. Second, he told me something very interesting. In his lab at MIT there were ten other students. Four of them became astronauts. Do you know how hard it is to become an astronaut? Out of the 1000s of people who used to apply each year, less than 10 would get in. These 1000s who applied were DESPERATE to get in. And they couldn't. And yet FOUR from this one single lab flew into outer space. If he had been hanging out in a bar instead of a robotics lab, I doubt he could say, "Me and 3 of my friends went into space". Life and it's outcomes are contagious. Be where, and with who, you will inherit the greatest possibilities, the greatest encouragement, the greatest knowledge, the greatest joys and friendship These are the viruses you want to infect you. Those are the people and places that will propel you into outer space. And by "outer space", in this one case I am talking metaphorically. Be the person the people around you expect you to be. I learned this from Mike because I was curious and I reached out to him and wanted to ask questions. Learning something from the people you admire is really the point here. If you do it just once a day you'll learn 365 incredible things a year. This will make your life a dream. And then you'll dream of things you never knew existed. . ------------What do YOU think of the show? Head to JamesAltucherShow.com/listeners and fill out a short survey that will help us better tailor the podcast to our audience!Are you interested in getting direct answers from James about your question on a podcast? Go to JamesAltucherShow.com/AskAltucher and send in your questions to be answered on the air!------------Visit Notepd.com to read our idea lists & sign up to create your own!My new book, Skip the Line, is out! Make sure you get a copy wherever books are sold!Join the You Should Run for President 2.0 Facebook Group, where we discuss why you should run for President.I write about all my podcasts! Check out the full post and learn what I learned at jamesaltuchershow.com------------Thank you so much for listening! If you like this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to "The James Altucher Show" wherever you get your podcasts: Apple PodcastsiHeart RadioSpotifyFollow me on social media:YouTubeTwitterFacebookLinkedIn See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

10 Tammi 20171h 12min

It's the most commonly believed lie. It will make you lose all your money. It'll make you wake up in your 40's or 50's and wonder what you're going to do about retirement. It will make you develop your worst possible habits.   For me, it was drinking. And waking up face to floor. I was ugliest when I was unhappy. That's true for everyone.   Unless you hide it with plastic surgery and cocaine.   The point is I care about myself now. And not a lot of people say that.   But it's important.   I should care about me more than anyone else... even my daughters. But sometimes I mess up. Sometimes I love them more than me.   Even on airplanes, they say, "Put your mask on before assisting others." If you put a mask on your baby before you put a mask on yourself, your baby will never know who you could've been.   If I don't put my oxygen mask on first everyday, then my kids, my friends, everyone I meet, won't know who I really am.   They won't know me at my best. They'll know me passed out on the floor because I tried starving myself for three days (it was a fast. I was trying to detox my body. Again this goes back to caring about yourself. Molly, Josie, I swear, I had good intentions.)   Let me get back to the most commonly believed lie.   It's called the sunk cost fallacy. This is when you stick to what you're doing because you already invested your whole life in it.   For example, you won't quit your job (the job you hate) because that's what you went to college for or because you've been doing it for 20 years and change is scary.   I studied computer science. I went to graduate school for it.   But now I do what I love. Because I gave up.   I had to give up on life's little stresses and jump head first into an even bigger stress. It took me one step closer to bottom. And one step closer to the lifeboat.   I have a friend. She's 52. Or 53, divorced. She has a "low-level" job. Or that's what she says.   She thinks her goals are out of reach. She says, "I can't do it." And she believes it. So I asked my friend Susan David, (she's a Ph.D) "How can you help someone like that? How can you help someone struggling with life's circumstances?"   But I was asking the wrong question. Because she told me the stress people experience everyday isn't (usually) caused by massive life events.   "There's a particular kind of stress that, in psychology, we call allostatic stress," Susan said, "It's the everyday stress."   I was interviewing her about her book, "Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life."   She gave 50 or 100 tips to do exactly what the subtitle of her book says, "Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life."   1) Accept it "Accept that you aren't where you want to be," Susan said. "Be with those difficult emotions."   She said we get stuck in two ways. One is "bottling." The second is "bruting." Bottling is when someone traps emotions inside. They ignore their feelings.   Bruting is when someone obsesses about emotions. And try to determine what happened and why...   They both cause high levels of anxiety.   So I had to stop asking, "Why?"   2) Choose "want-to" goals I have four main values. They're in my daily practice.   Values are the things you want to do versus the things you have to do. Because "have to" goals are less likely to be successful.   So I asked Susan, "What if you don't know what your values are?"   "We often turn around and say, 'How did I get here?'   "I was just going on with flow. I was just doing what everyone else told me to do. I went to college. I got a job. I got a house... How did I get her?' This is a really difficult place for people to be" she said. "What's really critical for all of us to realize is values are not some abstract idea. Values are ways of living, ways of being."   Figure out your values. Susan says, at the end of the day ask yourself, "What did I... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

5 Tammi 20171h 10min

Kamal was totally lost. His father had died. His job over. His relationship gone. He felt adrift, depressed, broken. He was so lost he wandered the world trying to find his way back. Twenty years later he wrote the novel about what happened - REBIRTH. The novel is about how he discovered for himself the ancient art of the pilgrimage. How to be a wanderer. How to be lost in a world with too much GPS raining down. Would a pilgrimage, a wandering, solve his problems? I read Kamal's book. The book comes out today. I had him on my podcast (also out today). I wanted to find out how even in our daily lives we can go on a pilgrimage. Even if I'm in a cubicle, can I break free, can I become a wanderer Sometimes I also feel stuck. But I don't want to go away for months at a time. I want a pilgrimage in my life right now! From what I can gather from reading the book, REBIRTH, and talking with Kamal, a pilgrimage has several parts: A) SEEKING AN ANSWER Something happened. Something confusing. Something that wasn't in the plan. You have to get off the regular path. Try a new one. Try one that takes a bit of courage and discipline. To meet stranger along the way B) IT TAKES TiME I'm not a believer that you have to go to a far location. But take time for yourself each day to do something you've never done before. Think about things you never thought about before. Find the places in your life that you never looked before. They are there every day. The pilgrimage awaits. Do a dare you never would have dared to before. C) STRUGGLE Maybe some people find life easy. I don't. Life is filled with worries about money, about relationships, about (for me) kids, about decisions, about the people who hate you, who annoy you, who scare you. Anxieties, regrets. Every pilgrimage begins with the struggle. And every journey is a struggle. The struggle doesn't stop. It just changes. It changes into one where you are lost to one where you have vision. Where the struggle is not being trapped in the vision of others but for the unique impact that you want to create. D) BENEFITS OF A PILGRIMAGE: - You see more clearly: Everything you see on a pilgrimage is different from "normal life". Enjoy them. Learn from it. Even a single day, a single meeting, can be a pilgrimage. What is your takeaway from it. - You meet people. I like to pretend everyone has a fortune cookie to give me. A little bit stale, a little bit crunchy, with a folded message inside. Read it. - There's an end. We've made pilgrimages too easy. We can go to a museum and see 2000 works of art. It used to be that people would travel a 1000 miles to see one painting hanging up in a chapel. Then you can really appreciate what you see. The more you appreciate the people, the things, the emotions around you, the more you are a pilgrim. - Come back changed. A pilgrim doesn't just fly a plane from LA to NY. A pilgrim changes because of the journey. You do that by using your senses: listen more, see more, taste more, observe more. The convenience of modern society comes at a price. It's too difficult now to be a pilgrim because everything is two taps away on our phone. There is an "otherness" to being disconnected for a bit. To search. To wander. And finally, to give up looking. To surrender to the results. ---- It's freeing to give up, even for a few minutes, everything you ever knew. To become a Wanderer. To look around and see everything as if it were new. REBIRTH, by Kamal Ravikant, got me thinking about these things. He went on his pilgrimage. He met people. He went on an adventure, a journey, and reading his book showed me how. I need to leave. To struggle. To find an answer. And then to completely give up all hope of ever finding one. To find again the beauty of being completely lost. If I get lost enough, maybe I can find something worth looking for. ------------What do YOU think of the show? Head to JamesAltucherShow.com/listeners and... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

3 Tammi 201758min

"When I was a struggling writer, before I wrote my first book, I got 190 rejection slips."   He taped them to the walls like a serial killer.   "My wallpaper was rejection slips."   "What was the worst one...," I asked Ben Mezrich, a New York Times bestselling author. Over the past five or six years, I've probably read all of his books. He wrote "Bringing Down the House," which became the movie "21". He wrote, "Accidental Billionaires," which became "The Social Network" where Jesse Eisenberg played a seemingly evil Mark Zuckerberg.   The New Yorker sent him just a page with the most powerful word known to man.   "It was just, 'No,'" Ben said, "I was rejected by a janitor at a publishing house because I sent a manuscript to an editor who was no longer working there and the manuscript ended up in the trash can. A janitor took it out of the trash, read it and sent me a rejection letter."   That was his big chance. Not Ben's.   The janitor.   "I've never wanted to write a book," Ben said. "I wanted to write. I wanted to write a hundred books."   I was interviewing him about, "The 37th Parallel: The Secret Truth Behind America's UFO Highway."   They found these cows in the 70s. It looked like they were sliced with a laser. They had perfect slices of circles in their abdomens. Like pancakes. And they were completely drained of blood.   The FBI investigated.   There was no mess. No blood spill.   Then pilots started seeing UFOs. Ben says if a pilot sees a UFO now, they'll get fired for reporting it.   So I asked him, "Isn't there a freedom of information act?"   "They've tried," he said. "But they didn't even admit Area 51 existed until a few years ago. So, no. They don't have to release that information."   People lose their minds looking for answers. Questioning can be interrogative or art. Answers birth more questions. And the space between answer A and question B is just space.   And that's where Ben's books are created.   "I only go into the stories where it's larger than life or something happens," Ben said. "What leads up to that incredible moment? What leads up to Facebook being a billion dollar company or what leads up to a guy suddenly believing in UFOs?"   I asked about his writing process. And selling process.   "I write by page not by time," he said.   If he's writing a 300 page book, he does this:   Step 1: introduce characters Step 2: introduce love interest Step 3: introduce what they're trying to achieve / their goal (You're starting off with the obstacles.)   That's part 1.   Step 4: "At the end of 100 pages something happens -- something that makes it very difficult for the characters to achieve their goal."   Ben said, "When I'm interviewing people, I'm thinking of their lives as chapters."   Interviewing is part of Ben's writing, but it's also part of his selling process. He won't write a book that won't sell.   "How do you know?" I asked.   "Usually, I speak to the main character enough to get a book proposal," he said. "Then I do all that research. Then I do an outline (very specific, in fact, I know how many pages each chapter is. It's like a skeleton. It's very severe.)"   My dreams don't have skeletons.   They usually look like boneless blobs or liquid sliding downstream. Direction over details. That's what Scott Adams, the creator of the Dilbert told me.   I get stuck because I want to do everything at once. I want to read every book, go for a walk, fly around New York City, interview Carly Simon, Edward Thorpe, Carrie Fisher (who I'm sad I missed sharing her stories with you... we were going to meet when she returned from the UK). I want to spend time with my daughters, begin and win at all my dreams, but I also want to do nothing.   Sometimes I get so worked up dreaming of the millions of directions I could fly that I forget to take off.   But it's ok.   Because I have something to write about. I have a connection... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

29 Joulu 20161h 3min

How can you use mass hypnosis to control 60,000,000 people so they vote for you to become the leader of the world? Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, knows the answer and has known it for years. So I called him and asked. I needed to know. He told me how Trump won. And he told me how anyone can use these persuasion techniques to improve their lives. What if you can get people to do whatever you want just by using the right words and subtly hypnotizing everyone you meet? It sounds like a science fiction novel. But it's true. It's what happened, and it happens every day. Who are the victims? You're the victim. Scott Adams predicted in September 2015(!) that Donald Trump would become President because, "he is the best master persuader I have ever seen." Scott Adams trained as a hypnotist and master persuader for years. "Once you realize that everyone is completely irrational," Scott Adams told me, "your life gets a lot easier. "You can start to use the principles behind this to see why people really do things, as opposed to using rational facts, and then use that to your advantage. "Understanding that people are irrational has made my life a lot better." But how did he predict a year and a half ago that Trump would win? I needed to know how. And how I could do it. Trump was the unlikely choice to be President. Just like Scott was the unlikely choice to be one of the world's most popular cartoonists with Dilbert. But we can all learn the skills that Scott learned. Scott heard a story that made him want to change his life in his 20s. His mother had delivered birth to his sister without the use of anesthetics. She was hypnotized. "She felt no pain," Scott said. So Scott, in his 20s, learned all the techniques of hypnosis. "You mean," I said, "You can take a gold watch and swing it in front of their eyes and make them do what you want?" "That has never happened," Scott said, "Except in movies. "What you learn is that basically everything people do is completely irrational. And then they rationalize it later. "Like, they might say they voted for Trump because of his policies but this is just a rationalization. Everyone is irrational and everyone is subject to persuasion." Everything seemed against Trump. But somehow he beat 16 candidates in the primaries and one big candidate in the election. And, Scott says, all the theories as to why he won have been wrong. So I called him up and asked him what happened. And he told me: ----------------- - THE LINGUISTIC KILL SHOT "Trump described everyone using two techniques: - words that had never been used in politics before - words that were visual. So every time you looked at the candidate being described you would look for confirmation bias." Example: Jeb Bush he described as "low energy". "Low energy" had never been used to describe a candidate before so they stood out. And whenever you looked Jeb, unless he was jumping around, you would automatically look for clues that showed he was low energy. Trump systematically did this with everyone who was frontrunner against him, including "Crooked Hillary" which referred both to her legal troubles and the persistent rumors that she was sick. ------------------ - CHARISMA = POWER + EMPATHY Scott said, "Trump clearly had the Power part down. But he was low on Empathy. "So he used polling to figure out what the critical issue was for the most amount of people and came up with Immigration. By going with this issue he proved he had empathy with his base. "Expect him as President to try to show empathy to a much larger group of people." ------------------ - OVERSELLING THE STORY "Trump consistently oversold his point. For instance, 'Build a Wall'." He used hyperbole because it's the direction that counts. "It didn't matter that the facts didn't support him. His base was listening to the direction while all the media was getting bogged down in the weeds. "And... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

27 Joulu 20161h 6min

"When did you decide to go from being a lawyer to a full-time writer?" I asked Gretchen Rubin. She wrote the #1 New York Times bestseller, "The Happiness Project." It was 2001. "At the Supreme Court, I was surrounded by people who loved law. They were reading law on the weekends. They were talking about law at lunch time. They just loved, loved, loved law. And I knew that I didn't." I felt pain in my legs. That's the feeling I had in my body the last time I didn't love something. I couldn't sit around anymore. I got up mid-meeting, walked straight to the elevator and left. "I think a lot of people want to leave what they're doing, but they don't know where to go," Gretchen said. A) How to find where to go "I was looking up at the capitol dome," Gretchen said, "And I thought, 'What am I interested in that everybody in the world is interested in?' That's when she wrote her first book, "Power Money Fame Sex: A User's Guide." Her first step was research. That's also what she did for fun. "That's a big tip-off," she said. "What do you do for fun?" I loved talking to prostitutes at HBO. But if I stayed I wouldn't have my own podcast. I couldn't talk to anyone I wanted. I was limited to prostitutes. And it wasn't their fault. I didn't know if it was OK to want a better life. I kept waiting for people to notice the signs. I wanted them to worry about me and encourage me to do what I love. But each situation is different. And you can't always ask for advice. Advice is what other people would do if they were you. Not what they actually do as themselves. We try guiding each other with good intentions... but it's not the same as choosing yourself. B) Be you Gretchen has 12 commandments of happiness. And the first one is "Be Gretchen" so for me it'd be, ''Be James." But sometimes I feel really disconnected to myself. Gretchen's suggestions involve knowing a lot about yourself. So I asked her, "What if I don't know anything about myself?" "That is the great question of our lives. 'What does it mean to be you? Who are you?'" "It seems so easy because you hang out with yourself all day," she said. "But it's so easy to get distracted by who you feel you should be... or who you wish you were. Or who other people expect you to be." It's almost like we outsource our personality to everybody around us. But it's OK to stop doing things that should make you feel good, but don't. "I had this weird experience recently," Gretchen said. "I was at a cocktail party. And some woman, very nice person, was saying 'Oh I love going skiing with the whole family. It's a great vacation.'" Gretchen said it seemed great. But skiing doesn't appeal to her. At all. "I love the fact that my husband has a knee injury so I never feel like we have to go skiing." The woman tried convincing her. She said it's a beautiful adventure, great for the whole family and everything else. "Twenty minutes later she came back to me with this absolutely stricken expression on her face. And she said, 'I just realized I don't like skiing either...'" Here's an easy, two-step formula for being happier: Step 1: Do less of what you don't like doing Make a list: 10 things you do but don't like doing. (Unless you don't like lists...) Step 2: Do more of what you like doing Come up with all the things you daydream about. What have you always wanted to try but never had time for? BAM! Now you have time. And you're you. C) Use envy Gretchen was looking through a magazine from her college. She read about the other lawyers. And felt mildly interested. Then she saw people with writing jobs. "I felt sick with envy," she said. "Envy is painful, but it's a very helpful emotion for a happy life. It's a giant red arrow sign standing over someone's head saying, 'They've got something you want.'" I've learned there are three types of self-help books. One is you're telling people what to do. The other is... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Joulu 20161h 10min