7. “My parents keep expecting us to pay for them”

7. “My parents keep expecting us to pay for them”

Barry is a first-generation Pakistani immigrant. His wife, Maria, is also Pakistani and was born and raised in the United States. Cultural expectations are making it difficult to get aligned on their joint finances. Barry has grown up living under a set of unwritten cultural rules whereby the son is expected to take care of his parents financially. They’re paying for family dinners and charity donations right now, but Barry strongly suspects his parents are anticipating moving in with them after they retire. Maria has been biting her lip so far. She wants financial freedom, but knows she cannot change Barry. He must acknowledge – and possibly reprogram – the dialog around money between him and his family. Some of this episode will sound confusing if you’re listening to it from a Western perspective, but these cultural scripts that Barry grew up with are very real. (Imagine if I told you that it “might not make financial sense to purchase a house” – that rattles the Western cultural code many people grew up with, which is why they get so angry when I point it out!). It’s unsettling and uncomfortable to challenge. I know because I’ve been in the same situation as Barry, juggling different expectations from Indian parents. Barry needs to move from “convincing” his parents to fully owning his financial decisions and vocalizing that with love and firm boundaries. Listen to our conversation to hear what that looks like for them and how they plan to compromise between their financial goals and family expectations. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin Produced by Crate Media.

Jaksot(258)

57. “I feel ashamed about having another child because we’re still renting”

57. “I feel ashamed about having another child because we’re still renting”

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56. “We have $200,000, but we’re afraid to take a vacation”

56. “We have $200,000, but we’re afraid to take a vacation”

Michelle and Dan are in their early thirties, and from the outside, they look like they’re in a great place financially. They make $225,000 annually, and they’ve saved $200,000 already. So, why do the...

16 Elo 20221h 1min

55. “My top 5 lessons from one year of interviewing couples about money”

55. “My top 5 lessons from one year of interviewing couples about money”

Personal finance can seem complicated, but most issues are linked back to two core influences—how people think and feel about money. Where they land on those scales has a wide range of possible manife...

9 Elo 202244min

54. “We grew up poor—but we could be millionaires” (Part 2)

54. “We grew up poor—but we could be millionaires” (Part 2)

Last week, in part one of my conversation with Austin and Annie, we got deeply personal about their upbringings and the invisible scripts they picked up as kids. I learned that they were passing bad m...

2 Elo 202253min

53. “We want to break the cycle of generational poverty, but we don’t know how” (Part 1)

53. “We want to break the cycle of generational poverty, but we don’t know how” (Part 1)

Annie and Austin were both raised without knowing where their next meal would come from. They came to me looking for a way to break the relentless chain of generational poverty that they’ve experience...

26 Heinä 202247min

52. “He hides purchases from me—and I let him”

52. “He hides purchases from me—and I let him”

Lisa and Jeff are in their forties and have a blended household. They had about a $300k net worth before they were awarded a $1.275M settlement in January of this year. What’s important isn’t the deta...

19 Heinä 20221h 18min

51. “We went bankrupt, but I still have no boundaries with money”

51. “We went bankrupt, but I still have no boundaries with money”

Katie and Cal are in their mid-twenties and, after moving around a bit, they live back home in Alaska with their young children. They bring in about $100k a year and have a good chunk of debt, about $...

12 Heinä 20221h 25min

50. “Maybe buying this condo was a mistake” (Part 2)

50. “Maybe buying this condo was a mistake” (Part 2)

In part 2 of Elena and Eric’s story, we learn about the deep emotional ties that Elena associates with the condo that’s draining their savings account—and why she’s so anxious about outside opinions i...

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