572 - Chris Distefano - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

You should drink your pee. Especially if you have a cold or a fever or a stomach ache or you're tired. Pee is better than medicine. It's your own medicine and it's free (and tastes good). Also, stop being stupid.  We tell stories about our old landlord, Jose. Plus a new game - Horrible or Hilarious? Will Tom like a psycho and someone's unfortunate circumstance or will he see it like a human? Plus an incredible impromptu call with Top Dog where we read him street jokes and he laughs, well, harder than we've ever laughed at anything. It's amazing.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Elo 20161h 43min

This week the mommies do a very important dental update as a recent article about the merits of flossing has surfaced. Christina learns what a "trap-p***y" is during an outing at the park with her family. Also, Percocet-master Gina from Boston is warmly welcomed to the mommy-dome. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Elo 20161h 45min

This week the mommies find Christina's dad on Instagram having a dance-off in Ibiza, review some fan-made websites, discuss the order of sushi they couldn't beat, and learn how to become bad boys Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Elo 20161h 36min

This is the type of thing denim was built for - the ultimate Momisode. If you're a HARD F'n CORE mommy you are in for a treat. Three of the most outrageous, hilarious and central people on this show are all in the episode and we had them IN studio. Sit back, relax and let the people who shaped Tommy Jeans entertain you by just being themselves. Plus we have Fat updates and much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Elo 20161h 40min

Sometimes really scary moments, like blood dripping from your butt, can produce magical results, like Ari's farts. We have some for you. Does Dani sing a song for us? Well you Daniacs are gonna find out! (and it might involve a little baby named Hitler) Plus we have strictly friendly sports, a new dildo from Nick (AJ?) Hawk, and Doug Stanhope weighs in on the #FATBATTLE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Heinä 20161h 28min

We hope you're HAPPY, Rachel! Mummy knows and now so does everyone else! Plus a Jamaican accent so thick the Master gets stumped?!? Tommy's family is in town and the house has flipped over. Will the Mommy's survive? An Asian guy from the South Pacific is still wanting a girlfriend, but with a new approach - intense dude energy. We have some advice. Plus The Water Championship has been settled, but who is the ALONE CHAMPION? The debate begins. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Heinä 20161h 32min

The thing about having your balls shrink is ultimately, it's the best thing that can happen. It makes your salami look so much bigger and who doesn't want that. Ze Zim Xir yim. Those are all preferred pronouns of severely mentally ill people, some of whom you may know. Make sure whenever you meet someone you open with, "Hey, what's your pronoun?" Plus, did Tom lose a bet and get his thumbs burned by cigs? Is the poop pile real? We work on getting you ANSWERS. AND #bertisfat is finally something you can own - get the new shirt and show the world you are on "TEAM TOM."   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Heinä 20161h 52min

You kind of have to agree, if you're gonna poop you might as well share it. Thankfully, a nice man in New York City thinks the same way. Wanna hear a cool fart? You should say that and then fart. Just an idea from Tom that he thinks is really going to take off. Plus, have you ever taken a walk with your family? Just a regular walk? Well this life-changing in the mind of Christina and her communist upbringing. #BertIsFat goes to a whole new level and Tom and Christina aren't the ones who did it! Plus, buying crack, dental updates and a whole lot more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Heinä 20161h 28min