Playing With Fire11 Touko 2024

151 Justice Jealousy

Some kinds of jealousy can just feel totally overwhelming. They may even make you feel rage. Justice jealousy is definitely one of them.

Justice jealousy—a term that was coined by Jessica Fern (one of our favorite authors and recurring PWF guest)—can happen when your partner wasn’t able to provide something for you in the past, and then you witness them providing that same thing to one of their other partners. Ouch!

The feelings that come up in these situations can be strong. So we’re here to give you strong frameworks, ideas, and tools that can help you understand, unpack, and work towards finding a resolution. (Spoiler alert, resolution might not look like what you had in mind when justice jealousy is in the picture!)

In this episode, we talk about:

— Why it’s important to know the difference between jealousy and envy

— What underlying issues can fuel strong feelings of justice jealousy

— Why it may be more helpful to focus on empathy and understanding instead of strict ideas of fairness

— The complexities of relationship repair in situations of justice jealousy

— Communication, forgiveness, healing, and the tools that can help you work through justice jealousy and its related issues

Resources mentioned in this episode: Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Non-Monogamy by Jessica Fern

Imago Dialogue: Episode 129 of Playing With Fire

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Read the transcript of this episode here

Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

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