156 Betrayal Trauma & Non-Monogamy

This episode is about betrayal. I know, super fun subject, but don’t click away!!

Betrayal can touch on some of our deepest insecurities. But in my experience, the fear of betrayal can be more painful and damaging than betrayal itself. That’s one of the reasons why it’s important to face betrayal head-on, and to be honest with yourself about how your history with betrayal may be impacting your current relationships with your partner(s) and yourself.

This can be a confusing subject, especially for those of us who are still unpacking that default ‘mono-mindset’ (aren’t we all?). When we transition from monogamy to non-monogamy our paradigms of safety, trust, and betrayal totally change. This can leave people feeling really lost.

But that’s what this episode is for ;)

In this episode, we walk you through:

— The idea of exclusivity in romantic, emotional, and sexual attention as a safeguard against betrayal

— Cultural expectations and norms around monogamy and how they influence our perceptions of betrayal

— Why making the shift from monogamy to non-monogamy is so challenging when it comes to betrayal

— How you can reconceptualize betrayal in the context of non-monogamy

— How personal experiences of betrayal shape people's views and approaches to relationships (often without them realizing it)

— The impact of betrayal witnessed in childhood, such as watching parents betray each other

— How the fear of betrayal can make people close themselves off, and why those emotional walls can hinder the development of deep and meaningful connections

— The profound effects of self-betrayal and the importance of self-trust

— The importance of clear communication and well-defined boundaries

— How to build repair plans into your relationship agreements, and why they’re so important

— Strategies for managing emotions and relationships after trust has been violated

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Listen to examples of the Imago Dialogue conversation technique here

Join the global Week of Visibility for Non-monogamy – July 15-21. Visit www.weekofvisibility.com to learn more and get involved!

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Read the transcript of this episode ⁠here

Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions