Playing With Fire26 Loka 2024

175 Coming Out as Non-Monogamous: Risks, Rewards, & How To Get Ready

Coming out as non-monogamous can bring its own set of challenges and concerns, especially if you also hold other marginalized identities. And maintaining the social appearance of monogamy can come at a cost.

In this episode, we’re exploring the risks and rewards of sharing your non-monogamous identity. And, if you do want to come out to the people in your life, we’re breaking down some key steps you can take to get ready for whatever reactions may come your way.

We’re breaking down:

— Why coming out conversations can be important for authenticity and relationship health

— The different "circles" of people you might consider coming out to (family, friends, work, etc.)

— How geographical location and social context can impact coming out experiences

— The importance of considering and discussing your partners' comfort levels and boundaries

— Practical tips for planning and executing coming out conversations

— Why it's okay to not have all the answers when you're first exploring non-monogamy

— How to handle potentially invasive questions

— Addressing the potential turn-on of secrecy in non-monogamous relationships

— The value of celebrating your authentic self when coming out

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Episode 89 of Playing with Fire: Learning the taxonomy of non-monogamy

— Laura Boyle's book Monogamy, in This Economy?

— The work of Sunny Megatron, Midori, and Mollena Williams-Haas

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

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