Becoming Emotionally Intelligent

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00:02:26 The Emotions Wheel and Learning to Label

00:04:47 Different versions of the Emotion Wheel

00:07:39 1. Anger

00:08:46 6. Disgust

00:09:53 7. Fear

00:10:53 8. Happy

00:12:26 9. Sadness

00:13:37 10. Surprise

00:14:45 11. Bad

00:21:36 Step 1: Put a name to the emotion (the Emotion Wheel can help).

00:29:31 What Invalidation Looks Like

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• Becoming more emotionally intelligent requires understanding of what emotions are, how to read them, how to feel and label our own experiences, and how to validate them in the people around us. We need to develop empathy, social skills, self-awareness, and self-control.

• There are universal basic human emotions, but they express themselves in varying degree, variety, and intensity. A tool like the Emotion Wheel can help you build emotional literacy and pinpoint precise feelings and emotions. Primary emotions include anger, fear, disgust, happiness, surprise, and just plain “bad.” If you become an expert at knowing exactly how you feel, however, you are never in the position of misunderstanding yourself and will be a more effective and coherent person as a result.

• The more emotionally literate we become with our own experiences, the better we can recognize them in others. Pay attention, listen, and then (tentatively) call out the emotion you think someone is experiencing. Verbalize the emotion by putting a name to it, and without judgment or interpretation, validate their experience. Remember that you’re not validating the factual content of what they’re saying, but the emotional content.

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