A Protest for Love: Fighting to be Seen

A Protest for Love: Fighting to be Seen

In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, Julie explores the challenges Melissa and Drew face during their anniversary trip. Despite overall enjoyment, the couple encounters difficulties in connecting, highlighting the complexities of transitioning from daily responsibilities to relaxation. Melissa struggles to unwind and feels disconnected from Drew, who seems more at ease. As listeners, we might consider: How do we handle the shift from our usual routines to moments of leisure with our partners? Do we find ourselves, like Melissa, struggling to relax, or like Drew, easily disconnecting from daily stressors?

The episode delves into the concept of dropped bids for connection, examining how small moments of disconnection can escalate into larger issues. Melissa's attempts to engage Drew are met with resistance, leading to feelings of rejection and ultimately, protest. This pattern raises important questions for reflection: How do we respond to our partner's bids for connection? Are we aware of the signals we're sending when we decline these bids? And when our attempts at connection are unsuccessful, do we, like Melissa, resort to protest as a last resort to be seen and heard? Julie emphasizes that while protest isn't ideal, it often serves as the only effective method for some partners to gain engagement, highlighting the need for clearer communication and more authentic responses in relationships

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S3 | Session 18: Slowing Down the TEMPO to Co-Regulation (Season Finale)

S3 | Session 18: Slowing Down the TEMPO to Co-Regulation (Season Finale)

Today is our season three finale . It has been an absolute privilege watching Rachel and Mike untangle their negative cycles, and they open today's session with the ultimate proof that the work is pay...

30 Kesä 1h 16min

S3 | Session 17: Fear of the Goodness: Navigating Peace After Relationship Chaos

S3 | Session 17: Fear of the Goodness: Navigating Peace After Relationship Chaos

The feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop is universal. When your nervous system is deeply accustomed to chaos, peace can actually feel scary and alarming because it brings up fears of losing ...

23 Kesä 1h 27min

S3 | Session 16: Too Sensitive? Healing the Belief That You Are Defective

S3 | Session 16: Too Sensitive? Healing the Belief That You Are Defective

Have you ever tried to set a boundary or express that you were uncomfortable only to be told that you're just being too sensitive or a stick in the mud? You know, when you hear that enough times, you ...

16 Kesä 51min

S3 | Session 15: Two People Overboard: The Co-Regulation Conundrum

S3 | Session 15: Two People Overboard: The Co-Regulation Conundrum

We can do all the heavy lifting in therapy, but sometimes life just throws too much at us at once. Between the holidays, chaotic work schedules, and general exhaustion, Rachel and Mike recently hit a ...

9 Kesä 46min

S3 | Session 14: The Burden of the Poker Face: How Hiding Stress Hurts Your Marriage

S3 | Session 14: The Burden of the Poker Face: How Hiding Stress Hurts Your Marriage

Mike recently received some great news about a major work project, but instead of celebrating, he admits to Rachel that he is quietly carrying a massive amount of pressure behind his "professional pok...

26 Touko 1h 25min

S3 | Session 13: Always Second Place: Fighting to Be Your Partner's Priority

S3 | Session 13: Always Second Place: Fighting to Be Your Partner's Priority

Today, we see what happens when Mike's loyalty to his family leaves Rachel feeling like she is "last on the list". When Rachel feels unprotected, she tries to handle her pain with logic, presenting ev...

19 Touko 1h 15min

S3 | Session 12: Between a Rock and a Hard Place: The Cost of "Going With the Flow"

S3 | Session 12: Between a Rock and a Hard Place: The Cost of "Going With the Flow"

Doing real emotional work is physically exhausting. When Mike logs on for this session, the very first thing he shares is that he feels completely "taxed and jumbled". He is asking his brain to operat...

12 Touko 1h 6min

S3 | Session 11: You Can't Problem Solve Your Way Out of Pain

S3 | Session 11: You Can't Problem Solve Your Way Out of Pain

When your partner is hurting, what is your immediate instinct? For most of us, it's to grab a toolbox. We want to solve the problem, clear up the misunderstanding, or offer the perfectly logical expla...

5 Touko 1h 6min

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