The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Maalis

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

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Friday, Feb. 9, 2018

Friday, Feb. 9, 2018

Hurricane Maria pummeled Puerto Rico with great fury, but the government there said that just 64 people had been killed by the storm. The hundreds of bodies showing up at morgues across the island told a different story. Guests: Frances Robles, a New York Times correspondent based in Miami; Mili Bonilla, whose father died in Puerto Rico in October. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

9 Helmi 201829min

Thursday, Feb. 8, 2018

Thursday, Feb. 8, 2018

Hurricane Maria slammed into Puerto Rico as a Category 4 storm on Sept. 20, flooding neighborhoods and villages and cutting power to 3.4 million people. More than four months later, much of the island is still in shock. A recent visit to a suicide prevention center shows the long-term toll on mental health in a place struck by the overwhelming impression that the rest of the world has moved on. Guest: Caitlin Dickerson, a national reporter for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

8 Helmi 201819min

Wednesday, Feb. 7, 2018

Wednesday, Feb. 7, 2018

When Republicans handed out large tax cuts to corporations, most economists rejected lawmakers’ claims that the benefits would trickle down to working Americans. So why do many companies seem to be giving their employees more money? Guests: Jim Tankersley, who covers taxes and the economy for The New York Times; Wes Carter, the president of Atlantic Packaging in Wilmington, N.C., who spoke to Sabrina Tavernise, a Times reporter. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

7 Helmi 201821min

Tuesday, Feb. 6, 2018

Tuesday, Feb. 6, 2018

The Republican push to release a classified memo has brought attention to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, and to the long battle to determine when national security concerns outweigh civil liberties. What has surprised many is the side Republicans chose this time. Guest: Charlie Savage, who covers national security and the law for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

6 Helmi 201823min

Monday, Feb. 5, 2018

Monday, Feb. 5, 2018

President Trump has claimed credit for a booming U.S. economy. But is it actually booming, and to what extent is he responsible? Guest: Peter S. Goodman, who writes about the economy for The New York Times.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

5 Helmi 201821min

Friday, Feb. 2, 2018

Friday, Feb. 2, 2018

Almost from the moment that he was appointed to head the Environmental Protection Agency, Scott Pruitt has been cast by environmentalists as an ideologue on a mission to destroy the very agency he runs. But Mr. Pruitt, who built a career suing to block environmental rules, sees it differently. Guests: Scott Pruitt, administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency; Coral Davenport, who covers energy and environmental policy for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

2 Helmi 201831min

Thursday, Feb. 1, 2018

Thursday, Feb. 1, 2018

Republicans insist that their push to release a secret memo that is said to question the conduct of the F.B.I. and the Justice Department in the early stages of the Russia investigation is not an attempt to undermine the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller. But whatever their intentions, the possible fallout from the memo’s release has everything to do with Mr. Mueller. Guest: Michael S. Schmidt, who has been covering the Russia investigation for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

1 Helmi 201822min

Wednesday, Jan. 31, 2018

Wednesday, Jan. 31, 2018

In his first State of the Union address, President Trump left behind divisive rhetoric and called for one American family. But hidden in his many stories of everyday American heroes was a deeply nationalist message. Guest: Mark Landler, a White House correspondent for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

31 Tammi 201822min

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