The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Maalis

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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Thursday, Jan. 4, 2018

Thursday, Jan. 4, 2018

A new tell-all book about the first year of the Trump administration has the White House in a fury. Its key source is Stephen K. Bannon, President Trump’s former chief strategist, who disparages the president and his children. Mr. Trump responded: “Steve Bannon has nothing to do with me or my presidency. When he was fired, he not only lost his job, he lost his mind.”Guests: Peter Baker, chief White House correspondent; Maggie Haberman, White House correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

4 Tammi 201819min

Wednesday, Jan. 3, 2018

Wednesday, Jan. 3, 2018

On New Year’s Day, the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, surprisingly called for direct talks with South Korea. How could that dialogue shift the dynamics among the North, the South and the United States? And Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah, the longest-serving Republican in the Senate, is retiring. Is the way open for Mitt Romney’s return? Guests: David E. Sanger, a Times correspondent who has covered North Korea’s missile program for decades; Jonathan Martin, a national correspondent.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

3 Tammi 201822min

Tuesday, Jan. 2, 2018

Tuesday, Jan. 2, 2018

It’s 2018, and the investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election is nowhere near complete — as the Trump administration had predicted it would be. Instead, new reporting on what prompted a federal inquiry in the first place has shed light on what Robert Mueller, the special counsel in charge of the investigation, was up to over the past year. Guest: Matt Apuzzo, who covers national security for The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

2 Tammi 201817min

Friday, Dec. 29, 2017

Friday, Dec. 29, 2017

The Daily is revisiting our favorite episodes of the year — listening back, and then hearing what’s happened since the stories first ran. Today, we return to the story of Shannon Mulcahy and other steelworkers in Indiana who lost their jobs when their factory moved to Mexico. Guest: Farah Stockman, a national correspondent for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

29 Joulu 201740min

Thursday, Dec. 28, 2017

Thursday, Dec. 28, 2017

The Daily is revisiting our favorite episodes of the year — listening back, and then hearing what’s happened since the stories first ran. Today, we return to the story of two Americans, Abraham Davis and Hisham Yasin. Theirs is a story of vandalism and forgiveness. Guest: Sabrina Tavernise, a national correspondent for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

28 Joulu 201735min

Wednesday, Dec. 27, 2017

Wednesday, Dec. 27, 2017

The Daily is revisiting our favorite episodes of the year — listening back, and then hearing what’s happened since the stories first ran. Today, we’re going back to a conversation that first ran this summer, two weeks after a white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, Va. turned violent and right after President Trump drew intense criticism by saying there were “some very fine people on both sides.” Guest: Derek Black, who had been poised to lead the white nationalist movement but then left, betraying his father, a former grand master of the Ku Klux Klan. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

27 Joulu 201736min

Tuesday, Dec. 26, 2017

Tuesday, Dec. 26, 2017

The Daily is revisiting favorite episodes of the year — listening back, and then hearing what’s happened in the time since the stories first ran. Today we’re going back to an episode from the early weeks of the Trump administration, when we met a man named Carlos who got caught up in the president’s crackdown on immigrants already living in the U.S. illegally. Guests: Monica Davey, the Chicago bureau chief for The New York Times; Tim Grigsby, a print shop owner in West Frankfort, Ill. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

26 Joulu 201721min

Special Episode: The Year in Sound

Special Episode: The Year in Sound

A riot in Charlottesville, Va.; hurricanes in Houston and the Caribbean; shootings outside a music festival, in a church and on a baseball field. Big new jobs for Donald Trump and Neil Gorsuch; big jobs lost for Michael Flynn, James Comey, Bill O’Reilly and Harvey Weinstein. A health care bill stymied; a tax bill fast-tracked. Here’s what a breathtaking year sounded like, from start to finish. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. We're taking Monday off for Christmas. For the rest of next week, we’ll revisit our favorite episodes, adding what has happened since the stories first ran. We’ll be back with a new episode on Tuesday, Jan. 2. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

22 Joulu 201719min

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