The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Maalis

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

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Thursday, Nov. 30, 2017

Thursday, Nov. 30, 2017

President Trump is playing a major role in shaping the Republican tax plan. So what is a businessman who ran as a populist fighting for? Also, the president shared videos on Twitter from a fringe ultranationalist group, and the move was condemned by the British prime minister. Guests: Jim Tankersley, who covers taxes and the economy for The Times; Dan Bilefsky, a Times reporter based in London. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

30 Marras 201722min

Wednesday, Nov. 29, 2017

Wednesday, Nov. 29, 2017

The United States government set aside $5 million for the families of civilian casualties from the war on the Islamic State. There have been thousands of civilian casualties. So why has the money gone untouched?Guest: Azmat Khan, an investigative reporter who spent the past year looking into civilian casualties in the war on the Islamic State. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

29 Marras 201719min

Tuesday, Nov. 28, 2017

Tuesday, Nov. 28, 2017

On Monday morning, two rival bosses showed up for work at the government’s top consumer financial watchdog — one a holdover from the Obama administration, the other a rushed temporary appointee of President Trump’s. We look at the messy public fight for control of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.Guest: Gary Rivlin, a former New York Times reporter who is an Investigative Fund fellow at the Nation Institute. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

28 Marras 201720min

Monday, Nov.27, 2017

Monday, Nov.27, 2017

With President Trump nearing the end of his first year in office, the next few weeks could be crucial for his presidency. We also look at how a string of armed robberies in Michigan and Ohio has led to what could be the most important case on electronic privacy to go before the Supreme Court. Guests: Maggie Haberman, White House correspondent; Adam Liptak, who covers the Supreme Court. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

27 Marras 201716min

Wednesday, Nov. 22, 2017

Wednesday, Nov. 22, 2017

Robert Mugabe has been the leader of Zimbabwe as long as there has been a Zimbabwe. Having once proclaimed that “only God will remove me,” he resigned as president on Tuesday after nearly four decades in power. Will he be remembered as a tyrant, or as a hero? Guest: Jeffrey Gettleman, who was East Africa bureau chief of The New York Times for more than a decade. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily.We will be taking the rest of the week off for Thanksgiving. See you Monday. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

22 Marras 201720min

Tuesday, Nov. 21, 2017

Tuesday, Nov. 21, 2017

Capitol Hill, following its own set of rules and shrouded in secrecy, has joined Hollywood, Silicon Valley and other industries under scrutiny for sexual harassment. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, Democrat of New York, talks about being a woman in Congress at this moment. Guests: Katie Rogers, a New York Times reporter based in Washington; Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, Democrat of New York. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

21 Marras 201719min

Monday, Nov. 20, 2017

Monday, Nov. 20, 2017

Republican lawyers and lawmakers are working together to install conservative judges at a rate not seen in decades. The result could be a federal judiciary that is as partisan and polarized as Congress itself. Guest: Charlie Savage, a New York Times reporter based in Washington. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

20 Marras 201716min

Special Episode: The Daily for Kids

Special Episode: The Daily for Kids

Starting next year, girls can decide whether to become a Girl Scout or a Boy Scout. But a handful of girls — kind of secretly — have already made that decision. How one 10-year-old girl got a head start on joining a boys-only club. And why her twin sister decided to stay with the girls. Guests: Elsa Moock, who joined the Boy Scouts last year; her twin sister Clio; their father Alastair; and Dylan Bates and Harry Krygowski, two boys in Elsa's troop. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

19 Marras 201723min

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