Episode 29: The Day My Hole Almost Killed Me

Episode 29: The Day My Hole Almost Killed Me

In this deeply personal and emotional episode of Brolapse, I open up about the traumatic medical emergency that changed my life: a colon perforation that happened just days before recording. I walk you through the harrowing series of events — from a seemingly normal shower before a shoot with Ashlll Bay, to the moment I felt something pop inside me, to the emergency surgery that followed.


I talk honestly about the physical and emotional aftermath — the unbearable pain, the Baker Act hold, waking up to a colostomy bag, and the crushing fear that I may never fist again. I share what it’s been like adjusting to life without the part of me that’s defined so much of my identity, how I’m learning to be “Ryan” without my hole, and how I’m trying to stay creative, positive, and connected to my fans in this forced downtime.


You’ll also hear about the memoir I just completed, why this podcast is more important than ever, how I’m navigating grief and identity, and the outpouring of support I’ve received — from GoFundMe donors to exes, friends, and even The Howard Stern Show and H3 Podcast, who both invited me back on to share my story.


💔 A must-listen if you’ve ever faced a life-changing moment and wondered: How the hell do I move forward from here?



Ways to Support & Stay Connected

💸 Donate: https://HungerFF.com/GoFundMe

📺 Full video: https://HungerFF.com

🎧 Listen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3uJBareUPFci58BJ0NtwtoIOKKuaaBIa

🎧 Spotify (Early video access!): https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse

🍏 Apple: https://apple.co/408WLLX

📻 Amazon & Audible: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/57bbf689-250a-4c96-8559-0a79805f18b6/hungerff-presents-brolapse


🕗 New video episodes every Friday at 8 PM

🎙️ Audio drops Fridays across all podcast platforms

🔥 Early video access for Spotify subscribers

📦 Best-of compilations now live on JustFor.fans/HungerFF


Jaksot(84)

Episode 51: AMA Part 1: Recovery, Grief, and Gratitude After Surgery

Episode 51: AMA Part 1: Recovery, Grief, and Gratitude After Surgery

In Episode 51 of Brolapse, I’m back with my sixth Ask Me Anything—this time focused on life after my colon perforation surgery. From depth vs. width, to the emotional relief of realizing I could still...

6 Syys 202516min

Episode 50: Demystifying Gay Porn with I Que Grande

Episode 50: Demystifying Gay Porn with I Que Grande

For the 50th episode of Brolapse, Ryan James (@HungerFF) welcomes award-winning director and producer I Que Grande (@I_Que_Grande)—best known for his work with Raw Fuck Club, Treasure Island Media, an...

30 Elo 202547min

Episode 49: Dominic Ford on Building JustFor.Fans, Fighting Censorship, and Creating a Home for Kink

Episode 49: Dominic Ford on Building JustFor.Fans, Fighting Censorship, and Creating a Home for Kink

In this raw and deeply revealing episode, HungerFF sits down with Dominic Ford (@DominicFord), founder of JustFor.Fans (@JustForFansSite), for an unfiltered conversation about what it really takes to ...

23 Elo 202536min

Episode 48: Life, Lust, and Letting Go: A Raw Catch-Up with Jazmatazz

Episode 48: Life, Lust, and Letting Go: A Raw Catch-Up with Jazmatazz

In this candid, unfiltered reunion, HungerFF and Jazmatazz ditch the script for an honest conversation about life, pleasure, and personal growth. From globe-trotting adventures in LA and Spain to the ...

16 Elo 20251h 2min

Episode 47: From Storytime to Stardom: FitnessPapi on Fame, Fetish, and Fisting

Episode 47: From Storytime to Stardom: FitnessPapi on Fame, Fetish, and Fisting

From fisting rookie to one of the most recognized names in fetish porn, FitnessPapi has built a career on raw authenticity, unapologetic sexuality, and an uncanny ability to connect with fans. In this...

9 Elo 202551min

Episode 46: Hole Mommy Knows Best with Lena Vesper

Episode 46: Hole Mommy Knows Best with Lena Vesper

This week on Brolapse, I’m joined by the electrifying Lena Vesper—a trans cam queen, fetish performer, and self-described “hole mommy” who’s flipping the script on what femme dominance looks like in t...

2 Elo 202552min

Episode 45: When the Lights Go Out: Brian Bonds on Burnout, Sobriety, and Survival

Episode 45: When the Lights Go Out: Brian Bonds on Burnout, Sobriety, and Survival

This week on Brolapse, I sit down with one of the realest, rawest, and most resilient legends in the industry—Brian Bonds. From his early days getting fisted in a bathroom before shooting a scene, to ...

26 Heinä 20251h 9min

Episode 44: VersAssPunk on Body, Identity, and Letting Go

Episode 44: VersAssPunk on Body, Identity, and Letting Go

What turns you on when the taboo becomes your truth?In this unflinching and deeply personal episode, HungerFF welcomes VersAssPunk, a prolapse-loving nullo whose devotion to radical embodiment has no ...

19 Heinä 202544min

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