Episode 29: The Day My Hole Almost Killed Me

Episode 29: The Day My Hole Almost Killed Me

In this deeply personal and emotional episode of Brolapse, I open up about the traumatic medical emergency that changed my life: a colon perforation that happened just days before recording. I walk you through the harrowing series of events — from a seemingly normal shower before a shoot with Ashlll Bay, to the moment I felt something pop inside me, to the emergency surgery that followed.


I talk honestly about the physical and emotional aftermath — the unbearable pain, the Baker Act hold, waking up to a colostomy bag, and the crushing fear that I may never fist again. I share what it’s been like adjusting to life without the part of me that’s defined so much of my identity, how I’m learning to be “Ryan” without my hole, and how I’m trying to stay creative, positive, and connected to my fans in this forced downtime.


You’ll also hear about the memoir I just completed, why this podcast is more important than ever, how I’m navigating grief and identity, and the outpouring of support I’ve received — from GoFundMe donors to exes, friends, and even The Howard Stern Show and H3 Podcast, who both invited me back on to share my story.


💔 A must-listen if you’ve ever faced a life-changing moment and wondered: How the hell do I move forward from here?



Ways to Support & Stay Connected

💸 Donate: https://HungerFF.com/GoFundMe

📺 Full video: https://HungerFF.com

🎧 Listen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3uJBareUPFci58BJ0NtwtoIOKKuaaBIa

🎧 Spotify (Early video access!): https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse

🍏 Apple: https://apple.co/408WLLX

📻 Amazon & Audible: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/57bbf689-250a-4c96-8559-0a79805f18b6/hungerff-presents-brolapse


🕗 New video episodes every Friday at 8 PM

🎙️ Audio drops Fridays across all podcast platforms

🔥 Early video access for Spotify subscribers

📦 Best-of compilations now live on JustFor.fans/HungerFF


Jaksot(84)

Episode 59: Pup Hulky "Just Butt & Muscle"

Episode 59: Pup Hulky "Just Butt & Muscle"

Vienna’s own PUP-HULKY sits down with Ryan James (HungerFF) for a candid, funny, and unexpectedly tender conversation about kink, discipline, and identity. He shares how a dare became a persona, how y...

1 Marras 202544min

Episode 58: The Pulmonary Embolism & Air France Incident

Episode 58: The Pulmonary Embolism & Air France Incident

After an unforgettable 37th birthday trip to Paris, HungerFF returns with a raw and personal storytime unlike any other. From an airport nightmare with Air France to a terrifying pulmonary embolism th...

26 Loka 202512min

Episode 57: Blue Eyes XXL: Nasty, Sweet, and Unfiltered — The Art of Authentic Pleasure

Episode 57: Blue Eyes XXL: Nasty, Sweet, and Unfiltered — The Art of Authentic Pleasure

This week on Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with Italian creator Blue Eyes XXL for one of the most honest and vulnerable conversations of the season. Known for his mix of elegance and edge, Blue Eyes ...

18 Loka 202538min

Episode 56: HorsePapo: Macho Energy, Open Holes, and the Art of Fisting

Episode 56: HorsePapo: Macho Energy, Open Holes, and the Art of Fisting

This week on Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with the rising powerhouse of MachoFuckers — HorsePapo. From his explosive growth online to his evolution from dominant top to exploring bottom play, HorsePap...

11 Loka 202532min

Episode 55: Silver Steele: Kindness, Kinks, and Community

Episode 55: Silver Steele: Kindness, Kinks, and Community

This week on Brolapse, I’m joined by the one and only Silver Steele — performer, activist, and all-around legend. From Houston’s Space City Fisters to Pig Week in Fort Lauderdale, Silver opens up abou...

4 Loka 202548min

Episode 54: Wrapped Up & Wide Open: RubberKai on Latex, Fisting, and Living the Kink

Episode 54: Wrapped Up & Wide Open: RubberKai on Latex, Fisting, and Living the Kink

This week on Brolapse, we’re slipping into something slick with one of the most respected rubber pigs in the game—@RubberKai. From his early days at the Hoist in London to becoming the guy people gear...

27 Syys 202549min

Episode 53: Training, Trust, and Transgression: Dolan Wolf Speaks

Episode 53: Training, Trust, and Transgression: Dolan Wolf Speaks

Season 2 of Brolapse opens with a legend. Dolan Wolf talks about coming to gay sex later in life, discovering fisting, and why kink for him is a mind game with a body attached. He breaks down his meth...

20 Syys 202558min

Episode 52: Lights, Camera, Dungeon: Inside Falcon Fetish with Jasun Mark

Episode 52: Lights, Camera, Dungeon: Inside Falcon Fetish with Jasun Mark

Brolapse turns 1 year old this week, and I couldn’t think of a better guest to celebrate with than Jasun Mark — the director behind Falcon’s Fetish Force, Fisting Central, Club Inferno Dungeon, and mo...

13 Syys 20251h 4min

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