Episode 29: The Day My Hole Almost Killed Me

Episode 29: The Day My Hole Almost Killed Me

In this deeply personal and emotional episode of Brolapse, I open up about the traumatic medical emergency that changed my life: a colon perforation that happened just days before recording. I walk you through the harrowing series of events — from a seemingly normal shower before a shoot with Ashlll Bay, to the moment I felt something pop inside me, to the emergency surgery that followed.


I talk honestly about the physical and emotional aftermath — the unbearable pain, the Baker Act hold, waking up to a colostomy bag, and the crushing fear that I may never fist again. I share what it’s been like adjusting to life without the part of me that’s defined so much of my identity, how I’m learning to be “Ryan” without my hole, and how I’m trying to stay creative, positive, and connected to my fans in this forced downtime.


You’ll also hear about the memoir I just completed, why this podcast is more important than ever, how I’m navigating grief and identity, and the outpouring of support I’ve received — from GoFundMe donors to exes, friends, and even The Howard Stern Show and H3 Podcast, who both invited me back on to share my story.


💔 A must-listen if you’ve ever faced a life-changing moment and wondered: How the hell do I move forward from here?



Ways to Support & Stay Connected

💸 Donate: https://HungerFF.com/GoFundMe

📺 Full video: https://HungerFF.com

🎧 Listen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3uJBareUPFci58BJ0NtwtoIOKKuaaBIa

🎧 Spotify (Early video access!): https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse

🍏 Apple: https://apple.co/408WLLX

📻 Amazon & Audible: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/57bbf689-250a-4c96-8559-0a79805f18b6/hungerff-presents-brolapse


🕗 New video episodes every Friday at 8 PM

🎙️ Audio drops Fridays across all podcast platforms

🔥 Early video access for Spotify subscribers

📦 Best-of compilations now live on JustFor.fans/HungerFF


Jaksot(81)

Episode 64: Andrew FFoenixxx: Sobriety, Community, and the Real Face of Fisting Culture

Episode 64: Andrew FFoenixxx: Sobriety, Community, and the Real Face of Fisting Culture

This week on Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with Andrew Phoenix (@AndrewFFoeniXXX) for a raw, funny, and deeply honest conversation about finding himself through sobriety, kink, and community.Andrew ope...

6 Joulu 202529min

Episode 63: Fisting Is Not Sex? BottomGuyNYC on Sport, Open Love & Flagging at Work

Episode 63: Fisting Is Not Sex? BottomGuyNYC on Sport, Open Love & Flagging at Work

In this episode of Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with BottomGuyNYC—NYC bar manager, shameless fister, and proud red-hanky flagger—to talk about why, for him, fisting isn’t sex… it’s a sport.They dig in...

29 Marras 202529min

Episode 62: Jake Rockard: Work, Chems, Fisting, and the Manchester Underground

Episode 62: Jake Rockard: Work, Chems, Fisting, and the Manchester Underground

Manchester’s own Jake Rockard joins Brolapse for a raw and revealing conversation about fisting, chems, workaholism, and the underground networks that shape the UK kink landscape. Jake opens up about ...

22 Marras 202557min

Episode 61: Ridick: Born Ready – Fisting, Fame & the Wow Effect

Episode 61: Ridick: Born Ready – Fisting, Fame & the Wow Effect

For episode 61 of Brolapse, Ryan sits down with solo-named stunner Ridick (one D, like the Vin Diesel character) to trace how a shy model with a pushy best friend turned into a full-blown creator bran...

15 Marras 202528min

Episode 60: Blue Bailey — “The Law, The Load, and The Legacy”

Episode 60: Blue Bailey — “The Law, The Load, and The Legacy”

This week on Brolapse, I sit down with one of my favorite people in the entire industry — performer, lawyer, and author Blue Bailey (@bluebaileysf) — for a raw, unfiltered conversation that goes deep ...

8 Marras 202539min

Episode 59: Pup Hulky "Just Butt & Muscle"

Episode 59: Pup Hulky "Just Butt & Muscle"

Vienna’s own PUP-HULKY sits down with Ryan James (HungerFF) for a candid, funny, and unexpectedly tender conversation about kink, discipline, and identity. He shares how a dare became a persona, how y...

1 Marras 202544min

Episode 58: The Pulmonary Embolism & Air France Incident

Episode 58: The Pulmonary Embolism & Air France Incident

After an unforgettable 37th birthday trip to Paris, HungerFF returns with a raw and personal storytime unlike any other. From an airport nightmare with Air France to a terrifying pulmonary embolism th...

26 Loka 202512min

Episode 57: Blue Eyes XXL: Nasty, Sweet, and Unfiltered — The Art of Authentic Pleasure

Episode 57: Blue Eyes XXL: Nasty, Sweet, and Unfiltered — The Art of Authentic Pleasure

This week on Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with Italian creator Blue Eyes XXL for one of the most honest and vulnerable conversations of the season. Known for his mix of elegance and edge, Blue Eyes ...

18 Loka 202538min

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