230: What if you discovered you were the enemy?

230: What if you discovered you were the enemy?

“It’s just terror, it’s just fear with no object…It’s so purely guttural and instinctive it’s almost like the prey of a tiger…the moment that it knows it’s about to be ripped apart.”


Today's episode featured Neil Woods. You can find out more about Neil by going to neilwoods.net, where you can also find links to his two books: Good Cop, Bad War and Drug Wars, with more about his own experience and about the War on Drugs in Britain. To find out more about his organization, LEAP, or Law Enforcement Action Partnership, go to lawenforcementactionpartnership.org.

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits

Episode Summary: Growing up with a sense of heroic duty, a man becomes a cop fighting the drug war, when the sobering realities of his job lead him to profound awakening.

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/

Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com


Content/Trigger Warnings: near death, violence, suicide, mention of sexual assault, mention of gang rape, domestic violence, explicit language

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.

Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jaksot(320)

143: What if you were seduced into a whole new world?

143: What if you were seduced into a whole new world?

“Am I at fault? Am I not a victim? Should I not be able to say that because I let it happen? I don’t know if in the human heart there will ever be black and white answers to something like that.” Prod...

19 Marras 20191h 8min

142: What if it happened in broad daylight?

142: What if it happened in broad daylight?

“I didn’t really realize that it was a thing that was happening to me. I don’t really know how to describe that feeling, but it was just so hard to understand.” Producer: Whit MissildineEditors: Nigel...

5 Marras 201948min

141: What if you witnessed a horrific act?

141: What if you witnessed a horrific act?

“I just felt something inside of me that was so sickening. It’s just like this point of realization, almost like your biggest fear in that moment had come true.” Producer: Whit MissildineEditor: Whit ...

22 Loka 201931min

140: What if you were entangled in a web of shame?

140: What if you were entangled in a web of shame?

“It’s just confusing thinking about even today what I’m supposed to feel about the whole thing…humans aren’t really built to fully understand that kind of relationship.” Producer: Whit MissildineEdito...

8 Loka 201942min

139: What if your father disappeared?

139: What if your father disappeared?

“The worst thing that anxiety does is make you think that you have control to change something, like if I can constantly be in control of everything then nothing bad will happen.” Producer: Whit Missi...

24 Syys 201949min

138: What if at three months pregnant your world was turned upside down?

138: What if at three months pregnant your world was turned upside down?

“It’s like this weird tunnel of reality collapsing and you want to hold on to where you just were at where none of this happened, but now you have this thing that you have to absorb somehow.” Producer...

10 Syys 201942min

137: What if you were the one to break the silence?

137: What if you were the one to break the silence?

“I don’t know what I was thinking but I just kept feeling like the waves of shame because of the shame I made them feel.” Producer: Whit MissildineEditor: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Growing up in...

27 Elo 201944min

136: What if you had to fight for your life?

136: What if you had to fight for your life?

“I did have the feeling that someone was gonna come back and do something horrible again after that.” Producer: Whit MissildineEditors: Nigel Coutinho, Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Terra Newell is ...

20 Elo 201940min

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