65. Identity
Deliberate Life™23 Huhti 2025

65. Identity

In this episode, we explore the complexity and fluidity of identity, beginning with a playful challenge: how would we describe ourselves in the time it takes to ride an elevator? We unpack how our self-descriptions shift depending on context—age of the listener, setting, or even language. We share our discomfort with reducing identity to a concise pitch, noting how what we say tends to be externally focused (job, nationality, hobbies) rather than delving into personal values or deeper characteristics. We discuss how identity is often a story we tell ourselves and others, influenced by language, culture, and experience. The idea that different languages unlock different aspects of our identity was especially thought-provoking, revealing how language shapes not just communication but self-perception. We then move into how material elements—like clothing or gadgets—signal aspects of identity, both to ourselves and to others. Examples like yoga attire, running shoes, or the Oura ring illustrate how external symbols can reinforce internal self-concepts. The conversation highlights how adopting a new identity, such as becoming a runner or embracing a dual-city lifestyle, can precede and facilitate behaviour change. We also touch on the tension between comfort and authenticity in personal growth, and the challenge of integrating multiple, sometimes conflicting, roles into a cohesive sense of self. Ultimately, we raise the question: what parts of our identity do we want to evolve or let go of, and how can we consciously shape the stories we live by?

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77. Conscientiousness

77. Conscientiousness

We complete our journey through the Big Five personality traits with the fifth and final one: conscientiousness. We explore what it actually means—beyond the obvious associations with being organised ...

23 Huhti 27min

76. Heart

76. Heart

We open with a quote that sets the tone: the longest journey is from the head to the heart. We explore what it truly means to live from the heart—not as a sentimental idea, but as a fuller way of acce...

26 Maalis 25min

75. Space

75. Space

We open with a quote that sets the tone perfectly: if the mind is not overcrowded, not ceaselessly occupied, there is space—and from that space, everything else comes. We explore space as a multi-laye...

28 Helmi 19min

74. Grief

74. Grief

We explore grief through the immediate and raw experience of losing a parent, beginning with the story of receiving news of a mother's death whilst scuba diving in a remote part of the Philippines. We...

30 Tammi 33min

73. Deliberate Life

73. Deliberate Life

We share reflections from Bali, where we've spent two weeks recording our long-awaited Deliberate Life programme—a project eight years in the making. We discuss the unique energy of Ubud, Bali's spiri...

24 Joulu 202528min

72. Neuroticism

72. Neuroticism

We explore neuroticism, the fourth of the Big Five personality traits we've discussed, following our previous episodes on openness, extraversion, and agreeableness. Neuroticism represents sensitivity ...

27 Marras 202527min

71. Money

71. Money

We explore the often-taboo subject of money, beginning with an examination of why financial discussions feel uncomfortable—the fear of being judged or defined by wealth rather than character. We intro...

30 Loka 202532min

70. Boundaries

70. Boundaries

We explore the essential skill of boundary setting through personal and professional examples, examining how clear boundaries protect our time, energy, and values whilst maintaining relationships. We ...

26 Syys 202534min

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